Rugeley Villa Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 47 minutes ago, mjmooney said: My O-Level revision mistake was with biology. I was utterly hopeless at physics and chemistry, but I concluded I had a chance of getting biology, so I revised the shit out of that mother, neglecting other subjects in my determination to get a science. I had the syllabus down to the last detail. Went in, ready to show my knowledge - and it was the most Micky Mouse exam I'd ever seen. Full of multiple choice questions, with a degree of difficulty along the lines of: Mammals suckle their young on (a) Milk (b) Orange juice (c) Axle grease Absolute waste of revision time, could have strolled it if I'd gone without any work at all. (c) Axle grease? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted June 6, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted June 6, 2017 1 hour ago, Rugeley Villa said: (c) Axle grease? Possibly not an actual question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post colhint Posted June 6, 2017 Popular Post Share Posted June 6, 2017 2 hours ago, mjmooney said: My O-Level revision mistake was with biology. I was utterly hopeless at physics and chemistry, but I concluded I had a chance of getting biology, so I revised the shit out of that mother, neglecting other subjects in my determination to get a science. I had the syllabus down to the last detail. Went in, ready to show my knowledge - and it was the most Micky Mouse exam I'd ever seen. Full of multiple choice questions, with a degree of difficulty along the lines of: Mammals suckle their young on (a) Milk (b) Orange juice (c) Axle grease Absolute waste of revision time, could have strolled it if I'd gone without any work at all. Nobody but nobody ever will beat my 1973 mock biology O'level question. The whole class got it wrong. The last question was how do you create a plant? WTF. the whole class thought we never did this in the syllabus. We gave it our best shot. Take a cutting put in compost etc. Thing was this was Yardley Gram. No technology at all, forget calculators, think slide rules. Anyway they put the exam through some manual machine where some teacher would turn the handle and out would come copies. The exam was 7 pages long. They forgot to hand out page 8 . This had one word on it. SLIDE. How do you create a PLANT SLIDE. not how do you create a friggin plant. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted June 6, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted June 6, 2017 3 hours ago, mjmooney said: My O-Level revision mistake was with biology. I was utterly hopeless at physics and chemistry, but I concluded I had a chance of getting biology, so I revised the shit out of that mother, neglecting other subjects in my determination to get a science. I had the syllabus down to the last detail. Went in, ready to show my knowledge - and it was the most Micky Mouse exam I'd ever seen. Full of multiple choice questions, with a degree of difficulty along the lines of: Mammals suckle their young on (a) Milk (b) Orange juice (c) Axle grease Absolute waste of revision time, could have strolled it if I'd gone without any work at all. I had a parents evening about 3 months before my GCSEs. My biology teacher, who I hated, told my mom that even if I revised every night between that parents evening and the exam, I could only expect a B at best. I revised for 2 hours the morning of the exam and got an A. I felt like stapling the certificate to his **** face. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post rodders0223 Posted June 6, 2017 Popular Post Share Posted June 6, 2017 Who elected James Corden to be out mouthpiece in America for every celebrity death and national tragedy and who is paying for every one of these youtube videos to hit their "trending" page? Shut the **** up you fat word removed and stop using this shit to push your brand and your shitty **** talk show. Absolute cretin. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 5 hours ago, sharkyvilla said: Being the only word removed who didn't realise we were doing a minute's silence today at work. Walked into the room and whistled I've Had The Time Of My Life for about 30 seconds before realising what was going on. that's brilliant. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raver50032 Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 (edited) 14 hours ago, colhint said: Nobody but nobody ever will beat my 1973 mock biology O'level question. The whole class got it wrong. The last question was how do you create a plant? WTF. the whole class thought we never did this in the syllabus. We gave it our best shot. Take a cutting put in compost etc. Thing was this was Yardley Gram. No technology at all, forget calculators, think slide rules. Anyway they put the exam through some manual machine where some teacher would turn the handle and out would come copies. The exam was 7 pages long. They forgot to hand out page 8 . This had one word on it. SLIDE. How do you create a PLANT SLIDE. not how do you create a friggin plant. Hang on... what actually is a plant slide? How DO you create one??? Closest I can think of is a microscope slide made of the thinnest of thin glass. Edited June 7, 2017 by Raver50032 sausages Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 18 hours ago, sharkyvilla said: Being the only word removed who didn't realise we were doing a minute's silence today at work. Walked into the room and whistled I've Had The Time Of My Life for about 30 seconds before realising what was going on. Similar for me. 11am fire alarm sounds I stand up and reach for my coat, alarm stops so I stand there wondering whether to leave or not also wondering why everyone is sat in silence. Took me a good 15 seconds to realise. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colhint Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 1 hour ago, Raver50032 said: Hang on... what actually is a plant slide? How DO you create one??? Closest I can think of is a microscope slide made of the thinnest of thin glass. That's it, that's what the teacher called it at our school anyway 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted June 7, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted June 7, 2017 On 2017-6-6 at 10:36, mjmooney said: Seriously, if I can edit it down to a sensible length clip, I'll put it in Rogues' Gallery. There's a genuine "You've Been Framed"-worthy pratfall (by me) in there. It's there now. Enjoy. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villan_of_oz Posted June 7, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted June 7, 2017 Things that should piss you off.... Feeling like you're the only one at work who gives a care that things are neat and tidy (and clean). Every shift I do my best to leave the next shift in good order. Come in after my day off and you'd swear hobo's are bumming in the place. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 27 minutes ago, Villan_of_oz said: Things that should piss you off.... Feeling like you're the only one at work who gives a care that things are neat and tidy (and clean). Every shift I do my best to leave the next shift in good order. Come in after my day off and you'd swear hobo's are bumming in the place. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimzk5 Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 19 hours ago, rodders0223 said: Who elected James Corden to be out mouthpiece in America for every celebrity death and national tragedy and who is paying for every one of these youtube videos to hit their "trending" page? Shut the **** up you fat word removed and stop using this shit to push your brand and your shitty **** talk show. Absolute cretin. I **** loathe that man. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 Systems are down at work today. It pisses me off because they'll probably be back up soon and they'll tell us to get on with our work and to try and make up for lost time, when in my head I've planned a morning of doing nothing and being sent home this afternoon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted June 8, 2017 Moderator Share Posted June 8, 2017 16 hours ago, Jimzk5 said: On 06/06/2017 at 22:23, rodders0223 said: Who elected James Corden to be out mouthpiece in America for every celebrity death and national tragedy and who is paying for every one of these youtube videos to hit their "trending" page? Shut the **** up you fat word removed and stop using this shit to push your brand and your shitty **** talk show. Absolute cretin. I **** loathe that man. I don't find him even remotely funny, and I used to hate him, but by all accounts he's a damn nice bloke and a good skin so, I dunno, but that just gives him some leeway with me. I mean I still don't watch him or anything. But now I can at least be OK with him doing well for himself. Unlike total words removed like Alan Davies for example, who on the contrary may be kinda funny but has been known to attack homeless people (look it up). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 (edited) Someone on the missus' Facebook posting a video of James **** Corden and Ed **** Sheeran doing carpool karaoke (which I'm happy to say I've never ever seen), and saying how it brightened their day. Would brighten my day if the pair of words removed drove off a cliff. Edit, only just saw the post above... Edited June 8, 2017 by rjw63 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 1 hour ago, BOF said: Unlike total words removed like Alan Davies for example, who on the contrary may be kinda funny but has been known to attack homeless people (look it up). You make it sound like it's a hobby of his . It was one incident 10 years ago when he was drunk after a wake and he was provoked by someone who was shouting abuse at him. Maybe attacking the bloke and biting his ear wasn't exactly the smartest thing to do, but I find it difficult to judge a bloke on a solitary incident like that. Then again if I didn't like him, I'd probably quote it as my main reason. There are some celebrities that I hate because of a small thing I heard them say years ago Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted June 8, 2017 Moderator Share Posted June 8, 2017 4 minutes ago, Paddywhack said: You make it sound like it's a hobby of his . It was one incident 10 years ago when he was drunk after a wake and he was provoked by someone who was shouting abuse at him. Maybe attacking the bloke and biting his ear wasn't exactly the smartest thing to do, but I find it difficult to judge a bloke on a solitary incident like that. Then again if I didn't like him, I'd probably quote it as my main reason. There are some celebrities that I hate because of a small thing I heard them say years ago I could use Jim Davidson too (although he's not funny). Re- Alan Davies, yeah I did cite his worst behaviour, but there are plenty of anecdotes of him being a dick in public when people recognised him. He finally changed his ways when his reputation as an arsehole started becoming well known. Which means his newfound friendliness is put on. Arseholes do exist, and sometimes they're celebrities As for me not liking him. It didn't start off that way. I had nothing against him (I like(d) him on QI). It's his own behaviour that changed my opinion. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Paddywhack Posted June 8, 2017 Popular Post Share Posted June 8, 2017 Here's me and Mrs P with our BEST BUDDY Alan Davies a few years ago. Admittedly, he did beat me up after... 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted June 8, 2017 Moderator Share Posted June 8, 2017 That's a close one! You're damn lucky you caught him during the book signing, and not a moment after ! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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