chrisp65 Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Old people trying to use a mobile phone ... painful watching some old bloke do it earlier saying that just old people generally when I rule the universe there will be a simple test once you turn 65 A) Use an ATM for a cash withdrawal in under 5 minutes B ) Send a text message on a mobile in less than 30 minutes C) complete a shopping trip during normal working hours rather instead of the weekend when the working population need to go D) drive your car faster than 26 mph in a 30 zone if you can't pass all 4 then a one way ticket to Dignitas is your reward my dad has just bought a new phone, some samsung smart phone thing that does everything except a blowie I asked him yesterday how he was getting on with it (having had it a couple of weeks I guessed he'd have mastered the basics): 'oh, I haven't used it yet, I've still got £3 credit on the old one' He then proceeds to show me a brochure for a car he's looking at, he's thinking of getting the diesel version because 'it's got more grunt' and will be more economical because it is a diesel. I then have to spend 20 minutes trying to suggest that his driving style may not require more grunt, and 5,000 miles a year will not make a diesel economical. He used to be Superman. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Yeah, it's tough watching your parents age...mine are both in their 70's now...Reminds me that I'm keeping pace with them, too 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 **** time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLN Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 **** time. It's more the entropy that I have a problem with Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 I wanna be as grumpy as hell when I'm old victor meldrew style Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Risso Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Old people trying to use a mobile phone ... painful watching some old bloke do it earlier saying that just old people generally when I rule the universe there will be a simple test once you turn 65 A) Use an ATM for a cash withdrawal in under 5 minutes B ) Send a text message on a mobile in less than 30 minutes C) complete a shopping trip during normal working hours rather instead of the weekend when the working population need to go D) drive your car faster than 26 mph in a 30 zone if you can't pass all 4 then a one way ticket to Dignitas is your reward Even if you pass tests A) to D), you fail overall if you ever consider, even for the merest nanosecond, buying a Honda Jazz. Doing 26mph in a 30 zone would be considered reckless and living on the edge by the average Honda Jazz driver. I'm surprised they don't come with a bloke in plus fours carrying a red flag to walk in front of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
packoman Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Pun threads, I'm sure someone else mentioned them previously but they're awful. Worse than caption competition threads. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted June 17, 2013 Moderator Share Posted June 17, 2013 Fashionable restaurant lingo, like "Locally Sourced", or "Market-Driven" F*ck offThere's actually something worse than that in restaurant speak and that is over use of the superlative a la Jamie Oliver Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 People that go to restaurants and get burgers and chips. OK, the exception is a decent burger joint. But you know what I mean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 Right, back to my comfort zone. Adverts. Minstrels male stripper show with the two crusty word removed-y bints. Diet coke advert Vax advert with the slogan "even cleans around the husband" *** you. Seriously you sexist word removeds. Take your offensive nonsense, shove it up your hairy, unkempt stinking rancid flaps and go **** yourselves with it. Would any of those ads make it to TV if the roles were reversed? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 Old people trying to use a mobile phone ... painful watching some old bloke do it earlier saying that just old people generally I used to work at an electronics retail shop. This was an almost daily occurrence with smartphones, but with tablets, laptops, televisions and home theatre systems thrown in for good measure. Ugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legov Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 Fashionable restaurant lingo, like "Locally Sourced", or "Market-Driven" F*ck off Why, what's wrong with them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leviramsey Posted June 18, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted June 18, 2013 Vax advert with the slogan "even cleans around the husband" ???? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted June 18, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted June 18, 2013 (edited) Right, back to my comfort zone. Adverts.Minstrels male stripper show with the two crusty word removed-y bints.Diet coke advertVax advert with the slogan "even cleans around the husband"*** you. Seriously you sexist word removeds. Take your offensive nonsense, shove it up your hairy, unkempt stinking rancid flaps and go **** yourselves with it.Would any of those ads make it to TV if the roles were reversed?As I mentioned in the film thread, I watched crazy stupid love on the weekend.Small spoiler below, I guess I'd better label it although it's very small There's a bit where a 17 or 18 (I can't remember) year old girl gives a 13 year old boy some naked pictures of herself. And all I thought during that bit is imagine how **** inappropriate that would be if it the genders were reversed?! Edited June 18, 2013 by Stevo985 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 Its **** inappropriate now. Problem is the male/social approach to the issue. Using Stevo's example a male teen would be thinking "Bonus" a female one would be heading towards the local nick. Society has glamourised the "cougar" a sexually aggressive older woman whereas the male equivient hangs around in parks with a mac on. Women don't actually want equality, they want inequality that suits them. [/mysogyny] 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted June 18, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted June 18, 2013 Pun threads, I'm sure someone else mentioned them previously but they're awful. Worse than caption competition threads. I've just cottoned on that things are unravelling. I wanna be as grumpy as hell when I'm old victor meldrew style I can recommend it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 Yeah, it's tough watching your parents age...mine are both in their 70's now... Same here. My folks have been living isolated in the arse end of nowhere in Scotland. It hasn't done them any favours, their mental prowess was fading noticeably. My sister and I persuaded them to return to the West Mids for winter, so they wouldn't get snowed in for weeks at a time. It's done them the power of good. Dad's much more with it now and wants to sell up in Scotland and return to the Mids. Me and the sis are really chuffed. We want to see more of them, especially now, they're precious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted June 18, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted June 18, 2013 Funny, that, we were thinking of retiring somewhere more rural (not Scotland though!) Food for thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomaszk Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 We also got burgled recently and they moved my £750 road bike out the way, and nicked my housemate's £200 one instead. Big win for me. The feeling that someone has been in your house while you were asleep upstairs does rile me though. Yeah I think ours were in a rush because they left some pretty weird stuff to leave, like wallets and stuff. Think they just grabbed what they could and legged it. I stayed in the house on Saturday with a mate because my parents were away and I did feel really unsettled. My housemates and I play in a 5-a-side league. It costs £39 and every week we tend to get £1 coin change. We'd started stacking them on the mantle piece as the "social fund" and had a tall pile of about 12 or 13. They nicked that. That hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted June 18, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted June 18, 2013 My mom had gotten a £20 note in one of her birthday cards. A brand new crisp £20 note too. They left that, but stole the £10 earrings that were sat right next to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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