KentVillan Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 8 hours ago, Xela said: I've raised this before. There is a unwritten code of toilet conduct for having a dump at work. Main rule is never go into a trap next to someone else when there is one further away. The other one is never come out of a cubicle when someone else has just come out. You wait until that person has washed their hands and left before coming out. That way you avoid the awkward "we've both just had a shit at work look" with the other person. Another one to add to this is the courtesy flush. If, like all normal men, you use your morning shit as an extended reading break, then do an interim flush when the bulk of your morning's efforts have been successfully evacuated. Fine to leave the injury time pellets lying there for a bit while you're browsing VillaTalk, but nothing worse than walking into the bogs and someone has left a full bowel curry lingering for half an hour. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post KentVillan Posted November 13, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted November 13, 2019 2 hours ago, TheAuthority said: Surely there has to be some addendums? For example, going to the furthest stall and it's blocked with shit and paper. The seat in the next one in covered in piss and you don't want to clean it off and risk "somebody else's piss hand." What happens if the only place left is next to a full trap? Fair comment. The correct etiquette to deal with this is to loudly stomp into each cubicle and make audible noises of disgust as you check each of them, to signal to your shitting partner that you have only entered the neighbouring trap as a last resort. 3 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vive_La_Villa Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 (edited) Are toilet cubicles called traps or is this VT thing? I’ve never heard this before. Edited November 13, 2019 by Vive_La_Villa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 3 minutes ago, Vive_La_Villa said: Are toilet cubicles called traps or is this VT thing? I’ve never heard this before. Nor me. I've only called it a trap when I'm stuck in there. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chindie Posted November 13, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted November 13, 2019 It's a fairly common slang for a toilet cubicle. I first heard it from a colleague who was from Bristol, and have heard it from dozens of people since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mottaloo Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 Whilst we're talking shite....here's a couple of restroom habits of mine : When I'm about to unleash (and i know there's going to be an initial and very loud explosion noise, that echoes in the bowl), i time it to coincide with me flushing the toilet to mask the sound. All so when i do emerge there's no one looking at me "like that" When i have a "wee", i always find it highly amusing and not stomach churning to hear those in the traps behind me make all sorts of bottom noises. However, whilst draining the trouser snake i can't fart if there is someone nearby. I don't mind if someone else do it as long as they aren't next to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mottaloo Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 (edited) On a different topic...this really pisses me off....children in need day. Not the charity itself, no...but at our place it's very irritating how the HR department (i still call them "personnel" to annoy them) seem to spring to life in many a zany behaviour, fancy dress, tin rattling, sponsored fckin bake offs as they make their chirpy, crazy way around the offices ! What really yanks my chain is that it wouldn't be so bad if they weren't such words removed for the rest of the year, being authoritarian from their remote ivory towers and who only seem to side with management in times of staff disputes....but on this one whacky day of the year they're everyone's mate. Fck off !! Edited November 13, 2019 by mottaloo 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mic09 Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 3 minutes ago, mottaloo said: On a different topic...this really pisses me off....children in need day. Not the charity itself, no...but at our place it's very irritating how the HR department (i still call them "personnel" to annoy them) seem to spring to life in many of zany behaviour, fancy dress, tin rattling, sponsored fckin bake offs as they make their chirpy, crazy way around the offices ! What really yanks my chain is that it wouldn't be so bad if they weren't such words removed for the rest of the year, being authoritarian from their remote ivory towers and who only seem to side with management in times of staff disputes....but on this one whacky day of the year they're everyone's mate. Fck off !! Very often cake sales and Halloween party dresses are top of HR agenda instead of recruitment, contract matters, employee holiday queries etc. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted November 13, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted November 13, 2019 2 hours ago, Vive_La_Villa said: Are toilet cubicles called traps or is this VT thing? I’ve never heard this before. Commonly heard in my office: "where's dave?" "Trap 2" or "you should see the state of trap 1" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 (edited) Balfour Beatty. Cheap contract specialists. They are in my area and outside the house replacing everyone's gas pipes. Its absolute carnage. Im not making it up when I say it looks like a DMZ zone. No pedestrian access to pavements around the works meaning people with pushchairs or wheelchairs have to go onto the road with no barrier/protection but the workers make sure their lovely blue barriers protect themselves. Been like this for nearly 3 weeks now and they have only just got to my house. Havent been able to use my scooter for work as cant get it out so missus has given me lifts and had to use taxis when she cant. I also dont understand why the autumn/winter? Gas has been off since 6am and they reckon it'll be back on this evening. **** freezing outside and not much better inside. Mud and rain everywhere outside. Broken concrete slabs everywhere. Just do it in the summer. It's a thankless job anytime of the year with the chaos its causing but they havent helped themselves at all. Nowhere to park the car, cant get my scooter out, using the neighbours drive to get to our front door as our entry way is blocked plus stuff I've mentioned above. It's a **** mess done completely inefficiently at the wrong time of year. I dont blame the ground staff, it's the managers and supervisors who decide all this. Cant wait for them to finish and **** off. Edited November 13, 2019 by Ingram85 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wilko154 Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 1 hour ago, Ingram85 said: Havent been able to use my scooter for work as cant get it out so missus has given me lifts and had to use taxis when she cant. All I got from this is Scooter Club are a member down this week. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NurembergVillan Posted November 13, 2019 Moderator Share Posted November 13, 2019 20 hours ago, bickster said: Not once have I ever contributed to a works envelope / card thing. Well, that's my gast utterly flabbered for the rest of the day. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted November 13, 2019 Moderator Share Posted November 13, 2019 24 minutes ago, NurembergVillan said: Well, that's my gast utterly flabbered for the rest of the day. It's a pointless money go round biased towards females Woman goers on Maternity leave - card, money Blokes wife gives birth - nowt Birthdays... if they mean that much to you, why haven't you taken the day off? Most blokes don't even let on it's their Birthday, women seem to want to tell the world, weeks in advance Someone is leaving work for a new job... er hello, presumably you got a pay rise Its an utter absurd stupidity EDIT: don't start me on, getting married, yet we're not invited to the party (good) but you still think I should contribute to a gift 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KenjiOgiwara Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 58 minutes ago, wilko154 said: All I got from this is Scooter Club are a member down this week. Ahhh. We got these electric scooters in Oslo. And a bloody lot of them. I don't mind them per say. I actually use them. What pisses me off is people using them on sidewalks. Also remember the news this summer of a lad in Oslo getting caught by the police on his home reworked version. He was doing 50 mph on it. How he didn't die I don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 14 hours ago, KentVillan said: Fair comment. The correct etiquette to deal with this is to loudly stomp into each cubicle and make audible noises of disgust as you check each of them, to signal to your shitting partner that you have only entered the neighbouring trap as a last resort. ^ This guys gets it. An audible huff or a whispered "for f*cks sake" under your breath confirms to your fellow work dumpee that you have tried to adhere to the rules of conduct but unfortunately you need to use an adjacent trap. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 5 hours ago, choffer said: Commonly heard in my office: "where's dave?" "Trap 2" or "you should see the state of trap 1" Yup. Traps are numbered based on their proximity to the main door. 1 being the closest and so on. if someone comes out and says "Trap 1, carnage", you immediately know to avoid the stall closest to the door as there has been an anal atrocity taking place in there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mottaloo Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 (edited) 23 minutes ago, Xela said: Yup. Traps are numbered based on their proximity to the main door. 1 being the closest and so on. if someone comes out and says "Trap 1, carnage", you immediately know to avoid the stall closest to the door as there has been an anal atrocity taking place in there. Too easy : Edited November 13, 2019 by mottaloo 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
limpid Posted November 13, 2019 Administrator Share Posted November 13, 2019 5 hours ago, KenjiOgiwara said: Ahhh. We got these electric scooters in Oslo. And a bloody lot of them. I don't mind them per say. I actually use them. What pisses me off is people using them on sidewalks. They are illegal to use in public places in the UK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted November 13, 2019 Share Posted November 13, 2019 5 hours ago, KenjiOgiwara said: Ahhh. We got these electric scooters in Oslo. And a bloody lot of them. I don't mind them per say. I actually use them. What pisses me off is people using them on sidewalks. Also remember the news this summer of a lad in Oslo getting caught by the police on his home reworked version. He was doing 50 mph on it. How he didn't die I don't know. Same as my bike, crowded paths? I go on road. Clear paths? I use the path. Police dont care as long as you arent being reckless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa4europe Posted November 14, 2019 Share Posted November 14, 2019 17 hours ago, KenjiOgiwara said: Ahhh. We got these electric scooters in Oslo. And a bloody lot of them. I don't mind them per say. I actually use them. What pisses me off is people using them on sidewalks. Also remember the news this summer of a lad in Oslo getting caught by the police on his home reworked version. He was doing 50 mph on it. How he didn't die I don't know. and in bonn / cologne, they're everywhere, started with 1 company and seemed really popular and another bigger company has swooped in and taken over, they're that popular that if you're walking the streets of cologne trying to find your way via google maps there's a walking option, bike, car, train and now lime scooter travel time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts