PongRiddims Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Swimming. I never learnt how to swim properly as a kid. Decided to have lessons when I turned 29 as was going away and didn't want to look like a turkey in the pool. A few years on, back on the fitness trail, I decide I'll try and have a little swim, give the knee caps a rest from the gym, **** HELL IT'S BORING. I wonder quite what you were expecting of it - a splash of horny mermaids to accompany on your exercise? Maybe not that, but at least underwater speakers playing some techno. It's hard work too man if you're no good at it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Swimming pools are shite. Swim in the sea, preferably at night and in the nude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coda Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Working in a customer service role, I now hate hearing the opening words "what it is mate". That is a long standing tradition on the railway. Guard asks to see ticket. Long winded rigmarole of checking every pocket (known as the ticket dance) Then turns bag inside out. Only to then say "well what it is mate" In my time as a guard my response to that was usually to say if you can give me an excuse I have not heard before then I will give you the ticket for free. If I have heard it then you pay double. Usually meant they would pay up I witnessed a youth get away without buying a ticket by pretending to be asleep. I was livid! I've been fined a few times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLN Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Swimming. I never learnt how to swim properly as a kid. Decided to have lessons when I turned 29 as was going away and didn't want to look like a turkey in the pool. A few years on, back on the fitness trail, I decide I'll try and have a little swim, give the knee caps a rest from the gym, **** HELL IT'S BORING. I wonder quite what you were expecting of it - a splash of horny mermaids to accompany on your exercise? Maybe not that, but at least underwater speakers playing some techno. It's hard work too man if you're no good at it. I'm afraid that while I'm swimming I'm making big splashes and everyone in the pool has stopped and is just staring at me and/or laughing. I'm a very afraid man. But yeah swimming is rubbish. Now jumping in, or diving to the bottom looking for things you've just thrown there. That's what pools are for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowychap Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Quantum leap, series 2, episode 4 'Ticket to Sandwell' Oh boy! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 That **** yaris advert Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Quantum leap, series 2, episode 4 'Ticket to Sandwell' jesus christ, the guy on the left always seemed so old...im prolly about his age now, **** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Almost lost my train season ticket on Monday, had it out to pre empt check. Forgot, got up, it fell to the floor, was about to get off at sandwell and a bloke came up and handed it me. 1666 quid not lost. It doesn't piss me off, just my idiocy does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morley_crosses_to_Withe Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 "Facial". Done to death. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dAVe80 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 "Facial". Done to death. Show off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Stevo985 Posted August 6, 2015 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted August 6, 2015 Scottish Power and their moronic customer support staff. I've only been with them for 2 weeks and they've already annoyed me beyond belief. I tried to enter my meter readings online but it didn't work. So it said I could email them in instead. So I did. I got a reply saying "Thanks Miss Bennett for your meter readings for account number 879873983" It wasn't my account number. Easy mistake to make, should be very easy to correct. Wrong. I must have sent half a dozen emails now explaining that it's the wrong account number and name, can they just make sure they put my meter readings on the right account? Most of the emails just say "Miss Bennett, I can confirm these details have been entered onto your account" But calling me Miss Bennett surely means they're still doing it wrong?! The one I received today says "Miss Bennett I can confirm that the name on your account is Miss Bennett" **** OFF! 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrinityRoadSteps Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Working in a customer service role, I now hate hearing the opening words "what it is mate". That is a long standing tradition on the railway. Guard asks to see ticket. Long winded rigmarole of checking every pocket (known as the ticket dance) Then turns bag inside out. Only to then say "well what it is mate" In my time as a guard my response to that was usually to say if you can give me an excuse I have not heard before then I will give you the ticket for free. If I have heard it then you pay double. Usually meant they would pay up I witnessed a youth get away without buying a ticket by pretending to be asleep. I was livid! I've been fined a few times. When faced with that in the past my usual method was to try and wake them but if they refused to wake up in spite of some vigorous shaking of the seat and banging of the window I would pretend to be making a phone call to 999 to request police and ambulance as I believe a person to be unconscious. Usually had them waking up pretty sharpish 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Lmao Stevo is a hot chick called miss Bennett. Hai baebae, asl? Trolololololol 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexbelowsound Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Scottish Power and their moronic customer support staff. I've only been with them for 2 weeks and they've already annoyed me beyond belief. I tried to enter my meter readings online but it didn't work. So it said I could email them in instead. So I did. I got a reply saying "Thanks Miss Bennett for your meter readings for account number 879873983" It wasn't my account number. Easy mistake to make, should be very easy to correct. Wrong. I must have sent half a dozen emails now explaining that it's the wrong account number and name, can they just make sure they put my meter readings on the right account? Most of the emails just say "Miss Bennett, I can confirm these details have been entered onto your account" But calling me Miss Bennett surely means they're still doing it wrong?! The one I received today says "Miss Bennett I can confirm that the name on your account is Miss Bennett" **** OFF! I feel your pain, been in a similar situation myself recently. However that was hilarious to read! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brommy Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Scottish Power and their moronic customer support staff Scottish Power are terrible. I moved from them in September 2014 and 2 months later I still had not received the £330 they owed me after they had jacked my DD payments up. In November they told me they had an IT issue dating back to December 2012 and they did not know when they would pay me MY money. I made a formal complaint and asked them how quickly they would deal with it. They assured me it would not be handled within a month. I said surely you mean it will be sorted within a month and they said "No, it will take over a month, but we don't know how much longer". FFS! Four months after I had closed my Scottish Power dual fuel accounts, they sent me a cheque for the money they owed me with a covering letter saying they were paying it "as a good will gesture"! It was MY MONEY they had hung on to for 4 months and they only gave it back to me as a "GOOD WILL GESTURE" !!!. I'll never go near Scottish Power again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimzk5 Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 At 3pm today "Jim, we've got dome windows that need fitting tomorrow so can you just go down to the job and fit the stone window sill underneath them" I get there, no stone sills habe been delivered. "oh,they will be there within the hour" I wait, they come, I fit them only to find the windows have been made an inch to **** big. Off come the stone sills, try to cut the brick down the get it right and the **** bricks shatter, so I cant put it right until tomorrow So I head home a good hour and half late and a stone hits the windscreen putting a big chip in the middle of the ****. If I wasn't late, it would have happened. If Jesus loves me he's got a funny way of showing it. The prick. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 I get about 6 cups of coffee/tea made for me everyday at work .....can I manage to get time to drink one hot cup ......NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 6, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted August 6, 2015 I get about 6 cups of coffee/tea made for me everyday at work .....can I manage to get time to drink one hot cup ......NO 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 Mods, can we please, PLEASE, change Stevo's custom title to Miss Bennett? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 6, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted August 6, 2015 BOF and I are still together Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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