tonyh29 Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Flu ...meh , you're not a teacher any more you are in the real world acceptable illnesses are .. death and very close to death 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dAVe80 Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Flu 3 days before the cup final Yep, I've been pissing molten lava out me arse, for the last two days. I'm going Saturday no matter what though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post CrackpotForeigner Posted May 27, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted May 27, 2015 Flu 3 days before the cup final Yep, I've been pissing molten lava out me arse, for the last two days. I'm going Saturday no matter what though! You might have to go several times. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Working while ill. Had a sheen of cold sweat covering my body today, like a skag addict having withdrawal symptoms. I guess your price almost halved then? Couldn't give myself away at the minute! Was sweating more than Gary Glitter was in the PC World repair centre! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Work shy Commie **** RMT members - but obviously not The_Rev. He's lovely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I'm sitting having a plop at work. I had to choose either a toilet covered in crap or one not so covered in crap, so I've chosen the latter. Now the cleaner has walked in and has cleaned the other cubicle but is waiting for me to get out of this one. He's gonna think it was me who left it in this state! "That's not my poo.." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrackpotForeigner Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I'm sitting having a plop at work. I had to choose either a toilet covered in crap or one not so covered in crap, so I've chosen the latter. Now the cleaner has walked in and has cleaned the other cubicle but is waiting for me to get out of this one. He's gonna think it was me who left it in this state! "That's not my poo.." All you can do is leave him/her a message on the wall to that effect, using whatever material comes to hand. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Swagger out of the cubicle, push a coin into his hand, nothing to big or too small, a mid ranking coin. Push that in his hand and, standing slightly too close, say 'here you go fella, you'll earn that tip'. Spit in the wash hand basin and walk out. Be alpha and people will respect you. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I wish I could have been that brave Chrispy, but I just sat there and waited for him to leave. I started breathing a bit louder and adding a few light grunts, anything to suggest he might be waiting a while. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Swagger out of the cubicle, push a coin into his hand, nothing to big or too small, a mid ranking coin. Push that in his hand and, standing slightly too close, say 'here you go fella, you'll earn that tip'. Spit in the wash hand basin and walk out. Be alpha and people will respect you. 50p? I'm guessing 50p would be alright, 20p could be verging on acceptable but its still a little on the low side, £1 coins are a different colour so I would say that is far to high ranking. I'm gunna say 20p is acceptable, 50p is bang on, £1 is just being a flashy bastard 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 yeah, that's pretty much where I was heading too. But I was worried that PW was possibly sat on an Irish bog - and might have had those funny foreign coins that are worth **** all. Thinking about it now, I'm getting a strange subliminal message he may have been closer to Halesowen than Kilkenny. Glad I didn't say it out loud now and make a tit of myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 if he was having a Guinness shit ...he should not have flushed after and let the attendant savour the flavour Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodders Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 (edited) Students. Bored of the words removed. edit - specifically the ability of a surprisingly large number to mistake a library silent study area for a local bar / restaurant. Edited May 28, 2015 by Rodders Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharkyvilla Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I got my bonus last week so I thought I'd do my annual clothes shopping today. In almost every single shop the men's section is up the fudging stairs, sexist shop bastards making me put extra effort in as most of them don't have escalators. Also I've just turned on Britain's Got Talent and the first thing I see is street dancers, bunch of clearings in the woods all of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjaacckk91 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Students. Bored of the words removed. edit - specifically the ability of a surprisingly large number to mistake a library silent study area for a local bar / restaurant. If its anything like I remember, its the rocket polishers that haven't seen the inside of a library for the entire year and then decide to go to finish their "last essay" or "revise" but what they actually mean is talk to each other about the whole 2 end of year deadlines they have and and how unfair it is or sit on Facebook and post statuses about all of the revision they haven't done. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 if he was having a Guinness shit ...he should not have flushed after and let the attendant savour the flavour Funnily enough, mine was a bit black and sticky which was very different to the poo all over the toilet. I considered sliding the tissue under the door just to prove I wasn't the dirty bugger. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCforever1991 Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 (edited) When you open a Banana and it splits the other side.. So I just found this video.. Mind Blown Can Thousands of Monkeys Be Wrong? I Think Not. Edited May 29, 2015 by AVFCforever1991 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted May 29, 2015 Moderator Share Posted May 29, 2015 I have a banana for lunch. Woohoo! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 (edited) I have one in my [censored] Edited May 29, 2015 by CarewsEyebrowDesigner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted May 29, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted May 29, 2015 I have one in my [censored] Arsenal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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