Wainy316 Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Forgetting to take my phone when I go for a dump. That is the worst thing in the world and for that reason I keep a book in the toilet and the bathroom as well. How about at work? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 (edited) Endless wiping annoys me. If I've finished pooing, how can toilet paper keep having little turd smudges? Its at that point I bust out a few of the missus wet wipes to finish the job and then one last round of toilet paper to dry. Me ain't having no skiddies. Its squeaky clean or no dice. Edited September 29, 2014 by Ingram85 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Forgetting to take my phone when I go for a dump. That is the worst thing in the world and for that reason I keep a book in the toilet and the bathroom as well. How about at work? I've never yet forgotten my phone in the office when I take a poo. That is nearly always a 20 minute fully planned activity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Forgetting to take my phone when I go for a dump. That is the worst thing in the world and for that reason I keep a book in the toilet and the bathroom as well. How about at work? I've never yet forgotten my phone in the office when I take a poo. That is nearly always a 20 minute fully planned activity. I always use the bog to break up my day. Have a read, play a bit of solitaire. Imagine my horror when I check my pockets and the phone is left on my desk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Endless wiping annoys me. If I've finished pooing, how can toilet paper keep having little turd smudges? Its at that point I bust out a few of the missus wet wipes to finish the job and then one last round of toilet paper to dry. Me ain't having no skiddies. Its squeaky clean or no dice. Yup, the DWD wipe system (dry-wet-dry) is the most effective in my experience. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted September 29, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted September 29, 2014 (edited) Went to a club in London on Saturday. Me and 5 mates. Now it was a good night. Club was pretty cool and music was awesome. But, we went in there pretty tipsy, the kind of drunk where it only takes a few more and you're hammered. Anyway, we had tonnes to drink in the club. We each bought 2 rounds, including a couple of jager bombs. That's 12 drinks. Yet we were all more sober by the end of the night than when we got there. It was blatantly watered down alcohol. So yeah, that pisses me off. Not in a laddy "wheeyyyy I wanted to get smashed" sort of way. More in a "You're ripping me off by charging me £5 for a glass of coke disguised as alcohol you stingy bastards!" Edited September 29, 2014 by Stevo985 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Went to a club in London on Saturday. Me and 5 mates. Now it was a good night. Club was pretty cool and music was awesome. But, we went in there pretty tipsy, the kind of drunk where it only takes a few more and you're hammered. Anyway, we had tonnes to drink in the club. We each bought 2 rounds, including a couple of jager bombs. That's 12 drinks. Yet we were all more sober by the end of the night than when we got there. It was blatantly watered down alcohol. So yeah, that pisses me off. Not in a laddy "wheeyyyy I wanted to get smashed" sort of way. More in a "You're ripping me off by charging me £5 for a glass of coke disguised as alcohol you stingy bastards!" Report said club to Trading Standards in the Local Authority area the club was based. Even if it comes to nothing you can be satisfied that you'll have caused a far amount of irritation and inconvenience all round. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted September 29, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted September 29, 2014 Women proclaiming that every baby is beautiful or gorgeous. A girl I know has just posted a 3D scan of her baby, which is STILL IN HER WOMB, and so many people are posting telling her "She's GORGEOUS" "OMG that baby is beautiful!" It doesn't even exist yet! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Babies are minging until about 3/4 months old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Friends of ours had a baby girl a few months back and I swear to Zeus it is the spitting image of George Dawes, and not in the way that every baby kinda looks like that but right down to specific facial features. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 And the laughing babies on that fecking Cow & Gate advert look downright demonic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
islingtonclaret Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Endless wiping annoys me. If I've finished pooing, how can toilet paper keep having little turd smudges? Its at that point I bust out a few of the missus wet wipes to finish the job and then one last round of toilet paper to dry. Me ain't having no skiddies. Its squeaky clean or no dice. I have a slightly different one to this- weak toilet flush at work. I've almost managed a clean pass, ace. Used hardly any roll, all good. Flush and jobs good. Oh wait, no, this toilet doesn't seem to be powerful enough to flush a small amount of bog roll and a not overly impressive turd. The tank filling is as weak as the flush. Do you run for it, or stand around for five mins waiting? Bear in mind I have done the waiting scenario many times, and on one occasion two didn't work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Obfuscate your transgression with more paper, then cut and run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 This is an awful lot of 'shit-chat' for a Monday morning, chaps. Not that I'm complaining, I just worry that Voinjama is going to over-exert himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Women proclaiming that every baby is beautiful or gorgeous. A girl I know has just posted a 3D scan of her baby, which is STILL IN HER WOMB, and so many people are posting telling her "She's GORGEOUS" "OMG that baby is beautiful!" It doesn't even exist yet! Glad it's not just me, this pisses me off immensely. All newborn babies are **** ugly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharkyvilla Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Endless wiping annoys me. If I've finished pooing, how can toilet paper keep having little turd smudges? Its at that point I bust out a few of the missus wet wipes to finish the job and then one last round of toilet paper to dry. Me ain't having no skiddies. Its squeaky clean or no dice. I have a slightly different one to this- weak toilet flush at work. I've almost managed a clean pass, ace. Used hardly any roll, all good. Flush and jobs good. Oh wait, no, this toilet doesn't seem to be powerful enough to flush a small amount of bog roll and a not overly impressive turd. The tank filling is as weak as the flush. Do you run for it, or stand around for five mins waiting? Bear in mind I have done the waiting scenario many times, and on one occasion two didn't work. Is there a brush you can use to sort of poke it round into the u-bend as you flush? Or even use your hand? We have a similar problem with one of the toilets at work, there is a compulsive eater who literally has a lunch-hour where he eats for 60 minutes and often leaves a turd the size of an alligator's tail in there. I'm not entirely sure how the cleaner manages to deal with it. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morley_crosses_to_Withe Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Endless wiping annoys me. If I've finished pooing, how can toilet paper keep having little turd smudges? Its at that point I bust out a few of the missus wet wipes to finish the job and then one last round of toilet paper to dry. Me ain't having no skiddies. Its squeaky clean or no dice. I'm the same, but it's not possible at work as they don't also provide Kleenex flushable cleansing cloths - I have no choice but to keep dry wiping until my arse bleeds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 As I might have mentioned, I was at a wedding reception Saturday. It was OK but the music was the usual shite Anyhoo...a lot of photos have appeared on FB in the last 24 hours and one woman in particular is doing the "duck face" in all of em. So I went mooching... Her FB page has hundreds and hundreds of pics of her. Doing the duck face. She looks a proper mong continually blowing her lips into that pathetic pout. . And not a kid either, well into her 40's I'd say. Some people eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCforever1991 Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Bring wet wipes to work... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morley_crosses_to_Withe Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 This is an awful lot of 'shit-chat' for a Monday morning, chaps. Not that I'm complaining, I just worry that Voinjama is going to over-exert himself. But he doesn't post much on here any more. He's too cool for us now...what with all the lads' holidays, shagging, and Spanish lessons 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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