Stevo985 Posted May 2, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted May 2, 2013 A grown man that shit himself. WTF. Absolute freaks Mate, you do realise you are in no position to comment on any of these? Apart from maybe Morpheus and DDID's. I thought you'd be turned on by someone shitting themselves anyway? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 I couldn't put a number on the amount of times I have sharted over the years . I drink Guiness so it just comes with the territory. It's funny to see people who are shocked at some of the stories in here. After 10 years in the army nothing in here shocks me in the slightest . Apart from Morpheus everything else may as well be called the amusing anecdote thread for me . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 I shite myself once on my way home from work I'd been sent home because I was dying with the flu, at the top of my road I let out an almighty sneeze and ended up backfiring in spectacular fashion and had to waddle down the road, when I got in I was caught by another decision, do I jump in the shower first or run up the garden and throw my boxers over the fence into the alotment behind I think I disposed of the boxers first, i was already caked so an extra 15 seconds waddling around wouldn't do me no harm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 I thought of something... A few years ago I got chatty on VT with a female Newkie Broon fan. Older members will probably remember who I refer to Turns out she only lived in Cannock, so I went up there and **** the arse off it. I can confess now because I'm divorced (and you can see why!) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted May 2, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted May 2, 2013 Hahahahaaaaaa ^^^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted May 2, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted May 2, 2013 Oh, here's one. I get my chest waxed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morpheus Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 I've also made a woman squirt. A few times actually. I'm certain it's cum, it certainly tastes the same. Never "drank" piss though. It's basically semen base, minus the sperm and IME a bit more watery. G-spot/Skene gland (basically the tissue that would have developed into a prostate given the right bursts of hormones in the womb) stimulation is the most reliable way to trigger it. Doesn't always happen with that stimulation, it's as much dependent on her being really relaxed (especially to ignore a feeling that she's about to piss) and in a really comfortable/trusting place (again IME). A well-done fingerbang is probably the best way to get the G-spot stimulation. If you're in the typical pussy-eating position with middle & ring fingers in the pink, then a palms-up come-hither motion should let you find a ridged area. Rub that, ideally with a bit of clit head stimulation (that whole area is basically the inner extension of her clit) and you've got a decent chance. Even if you don't get squirting, she will be eating out of your hand for months after that. Of course, YMMV. Going to try that later today as someone's garden needs doing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted May 2, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted May 2, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted May 2, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted May 2, 2013 A well-done fingerbang is probably the best way to get the G-spot stimulation. If you're in the typical pussy-eating position with middle & ring fingers in the pink, then a palms-up come-hither motion should let you find a ridged area. Rub that, ideally with a bit of clit head stimulation (that whole area is basically the inner extension of her clit) and you've got a decent chance. Even if you don't get squirting, she will be eating out of your hand for months after that. Ok, getting graphic now but... Doing this, AFTER, you've **** her to near climax will be your best chance, from my experience. As in, **** her, and when she's getting "there" pull out and immediately go in with the fingers to finish her off. And don't be afraid to be rough with the G Spot at that stage. That sucker can take a pounding, believe me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hogso Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 I wish I could share, but my uncle is an active member on this forum. Your uncle wouldn't happen to be Morpheus, would it? That'd give it nice extra twist. Well. Nice for us. Not you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 A few years ago I got chatty on VT with a female Newkie Broon fan... so I went up there and **** the arse off it. T*******? That was on 'Midlands Today' wasn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 A few years ago I got chatty on VT with a female Newkie Broon fan... so I went up there and **** the arse off it. T*******? That was on 'Midlands Today' wasn't it? All i've got to say about that is ************, **************, with an extra side dish of ******************! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 No idea what most of these asterisked-words are! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted May 2, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted May 2, 2013 I wish I could share, but my uncle is an active member on this forum. Your uncle wouldn't happen to be Morpheus, would it? That'd give it nice extra twist. Well. Nice for us. Not you. No. Thank god. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 Oh, here's one. I get my chest waxed I'm sure you've got bigger skeletons in the closet then that, spill the beans. Me coming into this thread Page 3 Page 8 Rest of the thread At the end after discovering no more brilliant stories I wish I could share, but my uncle is an active member on this forum. My exact thoughts too. But I would also add a cry/laugh picture too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted May 2, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted May 2, 2013 Oh, here's one. I get my chest waxed I'm sure you've got bigger skeletons in the closet then that, spill the beans. Nothing that compares to this thread I assure you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 Nothing and I mean nothing will compare to what Morpheus said. But waxing your chest is so minor, its not even a confession. I have also waxed my chest (and pubes) before. Stop playing it safe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Stevo985 Posted May 2, 2013 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted May 2, 2013 Nothing and I mean nothing will compare to what Morpheus said. But waxing your chest is so minor, its not even a confession. I have also waxed my chest (and pubes) before. Stop playing it safe. Sorry oh guardian of the confessions thread. I actually get really turned on by women pinching off massive steaming shits. How about you? 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 I'm glad we have that ignore function. Thats the one of the best things about the new vt site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 No idea what most of these asterisked-words are! Me neither Roberto. I was taking the ********** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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