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Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread


irreverentad

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If she hasn't touched your junk and/or your anus by the time you say goodbye on a first date, you have been friend-zoned, my friend.

Edited by Ginko
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Thanks. I don't naturally take things fast either so if that's the case that's fine by me - it's just the not knowing!

I just don't want to get friend-zoned that's all. I mean, we got on almost too well and she was quite open about her upbringing.

Telling you about her troubles growing up? Sounds like the 'eternal victim' type, soon it will all be your fault, enjoy ;)

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What exactly does 'quite open about her upbringing' mean?

Are we talking raised by wolves and has a residual lust for human flesh on the full moon, or parents vote conservative? Neither is an automatic show stopper, but fingers crossed it's the easier to work through classic lycanthrope problem.

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9 hours ago, Mantis said:

Need some serious advice guys.

Met up with this girl today who I met online. We got on really well, so much so in fact that we'd planned to go to this market/festival thing but ended up just talking in a coffee shop the entire afternoon because we got on so well. Anyway, she had to leave because she's a teacher and has to do a lot of work for her class but was really keen on meeting up again and suggested next Saturday. I was gonna suggest we meet up anyway but she seemed really keen.

So yeah, we're meeting up again but what makes me a little bit disconcerted is that seemed quite distant physically, as in we didn't hug or anything at the end. I have very little experience of dating and relationships so could that just be a case of her wanting to take things slowly? As I said, we got on like a house on fire.

Oh and for the record even she was basically taking the piss out of Villa...

Like most people who post in here, you're overthinking it.

Relax. If you're meeting up again then she likes you. The physical stuff will follow.

You're not going to be 40 years old and married and have still never touched her :D

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10 hours ago, Mantis said:

what makes me a little bit disconcerted is that seemed quite distant physically, as in we didn't hug or anything at the end.

My girly was like that on our first date. For some odd reason, I guess because we had similarly got on really well and arranged very quickly to meet again, I felt a pressing need to do...something when we parted. So I uh. Well I stuck my hand out and shook hers. Over a year later and I haven't been allowed to live it down since, as you'd expect.

For what it's worth, in her case it's just the way she is. Well, her family is, none of them hug or kiss each other, ever. It seems to be a running joke that they just say BYE THEN and disappear when they part.

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12 minutes ago, hogso said:

My girly was like that on our first date. For some odd reason, I guess because we had similarly got on really well and arranged very quickly to meet again, I felt a pressing need to do...something when we parted. So I uh. Well I stuck my hand out and shook hers. Over a year later and I haven't been allowed to live it down since, as you'd expect.

For what it's worth, in her case it's just the way she is. Well, her family is, none of them hug or kiss each other, ever. It seems to be a running joke that they just say BYE THEN and disappear when they part.

I always try to end the date with a lil cheeky hug or a peck close to the lips if i get the sense the girl is not 100% ready to be kissed. I try to never do the two kiss cheek at end of date as thats what friends do 

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I always have the same view as Stevo in this thread, and hes always quicker than me so i leave him to it most the time.
 
"as in we didn't hug or anything at the end."
 
I dont get this, obviously like a kiss, someone has to initiate a hug. So are you blaming her for neither of you initiating physical contact? If anything i would suggest it would be typical (whether sexist or not) that the guy would usually initiate contact in such a situation.
 
Either way, her wanting to see you again and suggesting it, very much most likely means shes keen. She wouldnt have given you a date and time if she was just trying to be polite and would have just said "we should do this again (sometime/soon).."
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Schoolboy error on my part.

Friend at work decides her friend and I are ideal for each other. I said I'm vaguely open to meeting her because she was described in very favourable terms. Meeting arranged but now I've done a bit of Facebook stalking, I realise she is totally not my type.

I've been doing this more than long enough to know I should establish the facts before jumping in. 

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42 minutes ago, choffer said:

Schoolboy error on my part.

Friend at work decides her friend and I are ideal for each other. I said I'm vaguely open to meeting her because she was described in very favourable terms. Meeting arranged but now I've done a bit of Facebook stalking, I realise she is totally not my type.

I've been doing this more than long enough to know I should establish the facts before jumping in. 

Try and make it fun by setting yourself mini challenges.

By the end of the night you have to either get your finger up her bum, or owe her a twenty and never see her again.

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On 11/1/2015 at 17:15, Stevo985 said:

You're already overthinking things

Whether or not you see this girl again isn't going to revolve around whether she put an "x" on her text or what words she used.

If she likes you, you'll go out again. If not, you won't.

If you're sitting around hanging on every text message and wondering why she hasn't text you back as it's been 3 minutes and 39 second since you last text her then you're going to turn into that clingy guy who won't leave her alone.

Relax. If she starts texting you then text her back. If she doesn't then in a day or two text her, say you had a nice time and you'd like to see her again.

If she says yes then brilliant, if she doesn't then it wasn't to be and move on to the next one.

So had to drag this back up stevo (just for you) so basically i have not really been messaging this girl anymore just a odd text now and then as didnt think she was interested but then something bizarre happened last night. i get a text from older cousin (who is abit of a animal) saying "if anyone asks your a doctor ( I work in NHS) just play along so I thinking what the hell. I text him back morning asking what he means, then this girl randomly texts me say Dr Demitri... (I never told her my job as I thought I wanted to create a element of mystery) turns out this girls known my cousin for like 20 years! she was saying to him that I am really good looking and a really nice guy. My cousin was saying was really probing about me.  now I am confused as hell as she texting me again. 

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