Rugeley Villa Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 not sure where to put this but i thought it would fit in here. anyway i kind of want some advice, well not exactly but was just wondering if any fellow VTers had been in this position. anyway ive never known my dad and have never seen a picture of him, i got told a name years ago but my family always said he was no good and was not worth bothering with because he made it clear he did not want me or have anything to do with me. he made the effort to come round once when i was a baby but that was it, him and my mum was never serious and by all accounts he had other women on the go and my mum was into him because she was young and he was a bit older with a car and she was attracted to him. its always pissed me off that i always got fobbed off when i asked about him and i remember being a bit younger and my mum and grandparents would get angry sometimes because i wanted to know about him which in my eyes was natural but i got made to feel guilty. i always remember at primary school being embarrassed because all my friends had dads and i never and i wondered why. since ive got a bit older and have had kids its played on my mind a hell of a lot and im getting to the point now where i think i want to do something about it as he will be in his early 50s. my missus has been digging about behind my back and at one point he emailed my missus because he heard off his sister that my missus had been trying to get intouch with him. he just said hi its blah blah ive heard you've been after me but i told my missus she could not reply. she also messaged his other sister on fb but she said she did not appreciate being contacted and that he was not my dad and my family need to tell me the truth. they are from out of town so i dont bump into them or nothing like that, anyway my missus has found out he has at least another kid and hes a lad of 15 and hes apparantly married as well. for as long as i remember its always bothered me but ive always been to stubborn and proud to do anything about it, deep down im a bit scared too. but im seriously at the point now where i need to put this to bed one way or the other. some might say well forget it because he obviously aint bothered, but is that true? maybe my family made it hard as my grandparents were very protective of me or maybe after all these years hes scared. i always looked at my grandad as my dad in a sense but hes never filled the void and its never been enough in terms having that male figure there. anyway not sure i have the bottle to go through this as it could turn embarrassing or worse but as ive said i feel i need to do this in order to move on from it. anyone been in same situation or similiar? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurtsimonw Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 My old high school I bought many a polish beer there well tbf i didnt expect you went to netherstowe full of boneheads. and King Eddies full of rugby ponces. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrackpotForeigner Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 not sure where to put this but i thought it would fit in here. anyway i kind of want some advice, well not exactly but was just wondering if any fellow VTers had been in this position. anyway ive never known my dad and have never seen a picture of him, i got told a name years ago but my family always said he was no good and was not worth bothering with because he made it clear he did not want me or have anything to do with me. he made the effort to come round once when i was a baby but that was it, him and my mum was never serious and by all accounts he had other women on the go and my mum was into him because she was young and he was a bit older with a car and she was attracted to him. its always pissed me off that i always got fobbed off when i asked about him and i remember being a bit younger and my mum and grandparents would get angry sometimes because i wanted to know about him which in my eyes was natural but i got made to feel guilty. i always remember at primary school being embarrassed because all my friends had dads and i never and i wondered why. since ive got a bit older and have had kids its played on my mind a hell of a lot and im getting to the point now where i think i want to do something about it as he will be in his early 50s. my missus has been digging about behind my back and at one point he emailed my missus because he heard off his sister that my missus had been trying to get intouch with him. he just said hi its blah blah ive heard you've been after me but i told my missus she could not reply. she also messaged his other sister on fb but she said she did not appreciate being contacted and that he was not my dad and my family need to tell me the truth. they are from out of town so i dont bump into them or nothing like that, anyway my missus has found out he has at least another kid and hes a lad of 15 and hes apparantly married as well. for as long as i remember its always bothered me but ive always been to stubborn and proud to do anything about it, deep down im a bit scared too. but im seriously at the point now where i need to put this to bed one way or the other. some might say well forget it because he obviously aint bothered, but is that true? maybe my family made it hard as my grandparents were very protective of me or maybe after all these years hes scared. i always looked at my grandad as my dad in a sense but hes never filled the void and its never been enough in terms having that male figure there. anyway not sure i have the bottle to go through this as it could turn embarrassing or worse but as ive said i feel i need to do this in order to move on from it. anyone been in same situation or similiar? TL;DR (Just kidding. If I were you I'd not give up trying until you hear from him himself, rather than some relative or wife. But it might be difficult if he's kept quiet about you. If I were him I'd want to meet you, without doubt, but I s'pose everyone's different.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 yeah thats the problem, i think hes got a family and married now so that makes it hard and they wont know about me. some blokes dont give a crap about their kids, i could not do that but thats just me. im hoping hes hoping i get intouch but its a big step for me to open myself up like that. ive had a good upbringing so cant complain and i would not say its majorly affected me but its just something in my head that i want sorting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dAVe80 Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 (edited) If he's not bothered to get in touch with you all these years, then chances are he's a clearing in the woods. Obviously I don't know the full story, but if I knew I had a son I'd do everything I could to make sure he knew I existed, and that I wanted to be part of his life, even if for what ever reason I couldn't be. I fully understand you wanting some sort of closure on the matter, but I'd advise you to tread carefully. Sounds like you're dealing with a lot of deep emotions, and you could end up getting hurt. Pursue the matter by all means, if you feel you need to, but make sure what ever happens, you keep yourself and your family right. Edited June 10, 2015 by dAVe80 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted June 10, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted June 10, 2015 I went to King Eddies Ruge you knob 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 haha, well its a good job you never came to hagley park because your arse would of been mine . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 If he's not bothered to get in touch with you all these years, then chances are he's a clearing in the woods. Obviously I don't know the full story, but if I knew I had a son I'd do everything I could to make sure he knew I existed, and that I wanted to be part of his life, even if for what ever reason I couldn't be. I fully understand you wanting some sort of closure on the matter, but I'd advise you to tread carefully. Sounds like you're dealing with a lot of deep emotions, and you could end up getting hurt. Pursue the matter by all means, if you feel you need to, but make sure what ever happens, you keep yourself and your family right. yeah its something i need to think about i think, one minute i want to then i dont. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted June 11, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted June 11, 2015 Ask yourself whether you have more to lose by doing it, or by not doing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted June 12, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted June 12, 2015 So I woke up to a text from my girlfriend this morning having a go at me for cheating on her. I did kiss 2 girls in Poland before we got together and posted about it on here. She went onto VillaTalk and found out. This was months ago, back when I knew 2 people in Poland and was bored out of my mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 lol, that's pretty funny. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted June 12, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted June 12, 2015 She said she wanted to read to find out more about Villa and she accidentally clicked something and the posts about me 'cheating' appeared. I can't even find them myself having searched in depth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post MakemineVanilla Posted June 12, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted June 12, 2015 So I woke up to a text from my girlfriend this morning having a go at me for cheating on her. I did kiss 2 girls in Poland before we got together and posted about it on here. She went onto VillaTalk and found out. This was months ago, back when I knew 2 people in Poland and was bored out of my mind. Sounds like the start of 21st Century blues song. Woke up this morning Didn't know what to do next My baby was angry Said it all in a text It's not what I wanted It's not what I'd choose But I got those early-morning 21st Century cell-phone blues Oh, Yeah! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted June 12, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted June 12, 2015 That's a decider, then. Mad bunny boiler. Get rid, asap. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 That's a decider, then. Mad bunny boiler. Get rid, asap. get rid seriously, you don't need an internet back dated checker in your life checking up and confronting you with shit, get rid if you can't get rid, don't come on here blubbing about misery she gives you because we will mercilessly remind you we said get rid 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted June 12, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted June 12, 2015 Well, actually what she told me made sense and I was a bit stupid. A week ago I mentioned to her that somebody at Wembley shouted at me that she recognised me from VT and she asked if I posted pictures on here. I said yes so she checked that thread (Rogue's Gallery) presumably to check if I had posted any pictures of us together. There was pretty incriminating posts there. She didn't go looking for dirt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 Still shouldn't have a go at you for something that happened before you met. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted June 12, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted June 12, 2015 It wasn't even before we met. It was before we were together. I moved over there, we were kinda seeing each other then we go together. It happened in that kinda seeing each other phase. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MakemineVanilla Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 Still shouldn't have a go at you for something that happened before you met. Checking on a partner's social media contribution is shockingly intrusive and unacceptable; using it as the basis for a shit test is an outrage. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 There does need to be a change in an individuals social media's habits from when he/she is single to when in a relationship. Girl at work, her boyfriend is always commenting on other girls pictures saying how gorgeous they are and how fit they look. To me that is not acceptable when you are in a relationship, don't you agree? Its not as though its meant sincerely as in he's known them for ages, its just girls he barely knows 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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