Rodders Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 I don't think I ever connected bat with ball successfully, let alone scored a run, despite all those years of school cricket. Which reminds me off something I did to piss people off - stand at the boundary, and watch the "skier" coming down towards me, with all my teammates shouting "Catch! Catch!" - and step neatly to one side to avoid it. How I **** detested cricket. I loved cricket, but that last point reminded me of when we used to play, aged around 13-14 I guess, and anytime one of our friends, called, Aidan, was in, cries of " catch Aids! catch aids!, argh, you caught aids!" reverberated around the pitch. every time. every game. which was hilarious to us then. especially when we did it in an away game and those of us not batting with aidan, would "warn" our opponents to not catch aids. the intelligent wit of teenagerdom :oops: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 I used to ritually torture a former - highly gullible - flatmate who refused to clean. The torture was varied, and involved such things as: •spraying an entire can of Pledge inside the visor of his moped helmet. •persuading him to let me shave "SFC" in the back of his head (he was a Southampton fan), then shaving "KFC" instead. •prank-called him from a mate's flat posing as 'Glen Willis' from the "TV Licencing Commision for Hampshire" and demanding he either pay a £1000 fine or spend 3 months in jail (he was so convinced it was real that we found him in tears upon returning to the flat). •masturbating into his shampoo. •having a shit in one of his boots. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 I used to ritually torture a former - highly gullible - flatmate who refused to clean. The torture was varied, and involved such things as: •spraying an entire can of Pledge inside the visor of his moped helmet. •persuading him to let me shave "SFC" in the back of his head (he was a Southampton fan), then shaving "KFC" instead. •prank-called him from a mate's flat posing as 'Glen Willis' from the "TV Licencing Commision for Hampshire" and demanding he either pay a £1000 fine or spend 3 months in jail (he was so convinced it was real that we found him in tears upon returning to the flat). •masturbating into his shampoo. •having a shit in one of his boots. :shock: I am never ever living with you........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 I'm fine to live with, just as long as you wash up the **** plates every now and then. Honestly, this guy had personal habits that would make a monkey blush. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davkaus Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 He didn't wash the plates often enough, so you wanked in to his shampoo? ...Really? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shillzz Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 Don't **** about do you Gareth? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 It wasn't just the plates. There was a catalogue of misdemeanours, and when it got to the stage of 1) not being able to use the living room for the sheer unholy stink his rancid mess left and 2) the estate agent chasing me up for his late/missing rent then I took matters (and my wang) into my own hands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiggyrichard Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 He didn't wash the plates often enough, so you squeezed the cheese in to his shampoo? ...Really? That made me **** piss! Ive never heard it called that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 In hindsight, the copious amount of alcohol I'd imbibed prior to most of the pranks is probably partially to blame for my action. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davkaus Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 He didn't wash the plates often enough, so you squeezed the cheese in to his shampoo? ...Really? That made me **** piss! Ive never heard it called that! Nor haveI, I only just noticed the word filter changed it to that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyVillan Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 It wasn't just the plates. There was a catalogue of misdemeanours, and when it got to the stage of 1) not being able to use the living room for the sheer unholy stink his rancid mess left and 2) the estate agent chasing me up for his late/missing rent then I took matters (and my wang) into my own hands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted October 18, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted October 18, 2011 I always get the gf to sky plus programmes for me which she generally does. If it's a show she wants to watch too, she makes a point of not watching so we can watch it together. Invariably, when I turn up and she is excited to watch the programme, I inform her that I saw it already so she can delete it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrissmith921 Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 Also marking someone in football. I'm a dogged right back who likes a wander up the pitch. I'm not talented, but i will follow my mark around the pitch if needs be. nothing better than marking someone so determinedly they throw a strop, lash out at you and get booked. Love the banter with opposition players when marking them. Some take it so seriously - take a smack in the mouth for a red card Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 If I go out to dinner and any vegetarians are there with me then I'll order the rarest bloodiest steak that I can Not sure if it pisses them of or not but I really hope so Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ikantcpell Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 Wear a tank top in the gym Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC_Hitz Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 If I go out to dinner and any vegetarians are there with me then I'll order the rarest bloodiest steak that I can Not sure if it pisses them of or not but I really hope so Done that before! My Aunt and Uncle are the type that preach at you before you even start looking at the menu. My Dad and me got pissed off at the same time without knowing. He looked up at me, gave me a wink and we both knew we had to order the t-bone, cooked rare. Pretty sure they mumbled something as they tucked into their nut roast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidlewis Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 I'd mix grill it. That's 3 animals dead for my meal muhahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiggyrichard Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 Letting your car run for 5 minutes in a morning to warm it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 Letting your car run for 5 minutes in a morning to warm it up. Who would that piss off (other than yourself for wasting your own money)? :? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiggyrichard Posted October 20, 2011 Share Posted October 20, 2011 Letting your car run for 5 minutes in a morning to warm it up. Who would that piss off (other than yourself for wasting your own money)? :? The neighbours mate, you should see the amount of curtains that flutter! Baring in mind my car is running for 5 minutes at 6:45am Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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