How long before you ask someone to marry you?

[mjmooney]

I read the question too quickly and put 5 years but would like to change that to 2-3 years. I thought to start with, the question asked...how long till you get married...

Anyway, I think 2-3 years is about right...then married in the 5th year.

thats just weird.

once you ask someone to marry you, surely you go & get married, not wait 3 years to get married.

i've always found that really strange.

Why?

Money, jobs etc. There are arseloads of things that come in to play and need to be thought about before you marry.

Do you realise how much it costs? :shock:

Doesn't need to cost anything except a marriage license (do you have to pay for that? it's a long time ago and I can't remember).

I agree with Wiggy, can't see the point of long engagements. Either get married or don't bother.

I think it's because people seem to think they have to have some massive expensive "do" and honeymoon in an exotic location. To me, that money would be better spent on (say) a house deposit.

[AVFC-Prideofbrum]

I read the question too quickly and put 5 years but would like to change that to 2-3 years. I thought to start with, the question asked...how long till you get married...

Anyway, I think 2-3 years is about right...then married in the 5th year.

thats just weird.

once you ask someone to marry you, surely you go & get married, not wait 3 years to get married.

i've always found that really strange.

Why?

Money, jobs etc. There are arseloads of things that come in to play and need to be thought about before you marry.

Do you realise how much it costs? :shock:

Doesn't need to cost anything except a marriage license (do you have to pay for that? it's a long time ago and I can't remember).

I agree with Wiggy, can't see the point of long engagements. Either get married or don't bother.

I think it's because people seem to think they have to have some massive expensive "do" and honeymoon in an exotic location. To me, that money would be better spent on (say) a house deposit.

Well that's it, every couple is different. My Cousin's wedding cost over £20,000, so obviously took a while I'm guessing to sort out. They were engaged for 2 years.

[tonyh29]

I've been married 8 years now , I proposed after around 4 months or so after we met and we got married about 5 months after that

I've known others to have dated for 8 years , got married and been divorced inside a few months

so I guess until someone can see into the future it's hard to say what is right or wrong

just be happy for them .. and make sure you plan a top stag weekend away

[VillaEire]

I was with my wife 6 years before I proposed.

18 mths - 2yrs I feel should be the trial period before popping the question

[The_Rev]

My brother in law just had an arranged marriage. He wanted one and he is very happy about it. I cant imagine how weird the wedding night would be though!

[mjmooney]

I've been married 8 years now , I proposed after around 4 months or so after we met and we got married about 5 months after that

Interesting - that's exactly the same timetable as me and my missus (see previous page).

[AVFC-Prideofbrum]

My brother in law just had an arranged marriage. He wanted one and he is very happy about it. I cant imagine how weird the wedding night would be though!

Sorry, I'm being stupid but arranged as in, he didn't know who it was? or met that person?

[The_Rev]

They had met a handful of times, but that was pretty much it.

It's amazing how many people still do it, in the Indian ex pat community anyway. I think the current generation of adults will be amongst the last to do it in a big way though as they were really the last generation of children who were raised by parents who got together through arranged marriage.

[MR.Smalljob]

11 years.

[rjw63]

Do you get to do her up the wrong 'un?

If so, ask immediately

Again, he spoils such a well constructive and serious topic.

[rjw63]

Do you get to do her up the wrong 'un?

If so, ask immediately

Are you married Rob?

Binne there, dunne that, managed to escape :angel:

[legov]

Everyone is different, every relationship is different. If you want to get married (in general), and feel you would be happy to spend the rest of your life with her then go for it.

I will add, ive been with my missus for 2 years now, we have a beautiful baby boy and have lived together for about 18 months. I will be popping the question at any moment as i am perfectly happy with what i have and would wish for nothing more.

This.

[Ponky]

I have been married for 15 years & we did things pretty much the old fashioned way. We first started going out together at 22 and 19 & I knew within 6 weeks that I wanted to marry her, but all the same it was about 12 months before I actually asked the question. We spent most of those 12 months or so getting to know each other and talking about stuff like what our aspirations were in life in terms of careers, houses, kids etc. We never lived together as such before hand, but spent a lot of time in each other's pockets.

We got married 10 months later, at 24 and 21, and haven't looked back.

[leviramsey]

The other day, I received a letter in my mailbox that read, and I quote, "Darling, I love you and I cannot live without you. Marry me, or I will kill myself." Well, I was a bit taken aback by this until I noticed that the letter was addressed to "Occupant".

[whitsend]

Me and the other half have been together for nearly five years now (in fact five years on Xmas eve so you can imagine my inability to wriggle out of that one) and the subject of marriage hasn't come up once. I'm putting it down to the mutual disregard of our staunchly catholic families. Either that or I'm crap in the sack.

[MrWeedMcGrass]

I started dating my gf in grade 12. Now I am 26, still haven't asked to marry her. :winkold:

She's also 26 btw.

[chrissmith921]

got with my misses april 2001, proposed april 2008 (i remember it being week villa slaughtered bolton during that time when we smashed them, derby and blues in that fine few weeks!) and married september 2009.

having said that, we were together from sixth form and through uni so maybe a bit longer than most.

[MrWeedMcGrass]

I am just scared of losing my bachelor lifestyle to be honest. Things will change too rapidly for me.

Plus will have to quit my job this year for my MSC so next year it is.

Probably new year's somewhere in a Cottage in front of the ocean in South America next year and drop the bomb on her(and my parents ).

[Amsterdam_Neil_D]

There really is no way to know the right time. I guess you just know.

I met my Mrs in April 2004, she moved in in June of that year and I asked her to marry me in August and we got married the following year)

(She was married when I met her with a 3 kids which added a little complication to proceedings, add to that the fact she is Dutch one would think it is a recipe for disaster but quite the opposite, I even get on great with her husband at the time)

Still together, all good and I am happy as can be. So if it feels right do it, they won't say yes unless you are on the same wave length I suppose.

[The_Rev]

There really is no way to know the right time. I guess you just know.

Correct. There simply isn't. It's like asking what age boys should start shaving, the answer is different for every individual.