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Paddy's "Things that cheer you up"


rjw63

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2 minutes ago, Seat68 said:

 

So, you were thinking of having sex with me? I'm flattered. It's not even my best side.

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I've just come off a work call where someone used the phrase "this isn't rocket science"... only to then be told that what he was referring to literally was rocket science

Which was very enjoyable

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2 hours ago, Stevo985 said:

I've just come off a work call where someone used the phrase "this isn't rocket science"... only to then be told that what he was referring to literally was rocket science

Which was very enjoyable

I hope it wasn’t a joke.

An old colleague of mine once said (when talking about a braking system on a car), at the end of the day it’s just brakes, what’s the worst that can happen?

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52 minutes ago, Genie said:

I hope it wasn’t a joke.

An old colleague of mine once said (when talking about a braking system on a car), at the end of the day it’s just brakes, what’s the worst that can happen?

Thankfully it wasn't a joke :D

 

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4 hours ago, Stevo985 said:

I've just come off a work call where someone used the phrase "this isn't rocket science"... only to then be told that what he was referring to literally was rocket science

Which was very enjoyable

It's not brain surgery is it

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11 hours ago, Genie said:

An old colleague of mine once said (when talking about a braking system on a car), at the end of the day it’s just brakes, what’s the worst that can happen?

Like the old Simpsons skit (facebook video)

"Sorry I'm late everyone. Somebody tampered with my brakes."

"Well then you should've been early"

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14 hours ago, Stevo985 said:

I've just come off a work call where someone used the phrase "this isn't rocket science"... only to then be told that what he was referring to literally was rocket science

Which was very enjoyable

To avoid confusion I always say 'It's not rocket surgery'. Then I judge those who don't get it.

And don't think we didn't spot the subtle humblebrag about your meetings involving literal rocket science :D

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1 hour ago, BOF said:

To avoid confusion I always say 'It's not rocket surgery'. Then I judge those who don't get it.

And don't think we didn't spot the subtle humblebrag about your meetings involving literal rocket science :D

My mate says that too.

Personally I think people should spot it easily.  I mean, it's not Brain science is it?

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5 hours ago, sidcow said:

My mate says that too.

Personally I think people should spot it easily.  I mean, it's not Brain science is it?

Your mate thinks he’s the dog’s knees.

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46 minutes ago, choffer said:

I’ve conditioned my (IT) team to ensure they describe any system being discussed as having “all the Belgian whistles”. The rest of the business thinks we are all idiots. They may well be right. 

I also use that one ironically ... Not sure what that says about me. I do love a good malapropism. For all intensive porpoises it means the same thing.

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, BOF said:

I also use that one ironically ... Not sure what that says about me. I do love a good malapropism. For all intensive porpoises it means the same thing.

I was chomping at the bit to add all of these to my sig but I think that's about to be made obsolete by this thread, it would be a bit of a damp squid if everything gets covered here already.

Edited by fightoffyour
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3 minutes ago, fightoffyour said:

 it would be a bit of a damp squid if everything gets covered here already.

It would be a mute point.

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9 minutes ago, fightoffyour said:

I was chomping at the bit to add all of these to my sig but I think that's about to be made obsolete by this thread, it would be a bit of a damp squid if everything gets covered here already.

You have to get in early with this eggcorn competition. It’s a doggy dog world. 

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2 minutes ago, Seat68 said:

Mike is **** raging at all this. 

Not at all. 

So long as they are deliberate. 

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