bickster Posted April 25, 2019 Moderator Share Posted April 25, 2019 19 minutes ago, Xela said: I had a similar dilemma the other year at a nice country gastro pub between Belper and Alfreton. Considering it was quite upmarket, they had obviously run out of money when it came to the bogs. Filthy. Two traps - one has a seat, bog roll and a relatively dry floor. And a space where there used to be a door. The other one had a door but no seat and it looked as though someone had smeared a chocolate fudge cake in the pan. Decision was needed pronto as I had a turtles head scenario developing. I chose the former. Upmarket for them parts anyway 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 8 minutes ago, HanoiVillan said: I wish there were some way of gathering @Xela's shitting stories together into some sort of anthology. Needs a catchy title. Captain's Logs? Fifty Shades of Brown? Lord of the Ring Stingers? 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharkyvilla Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 17 minutes ago, Xela said: I had a similar dilemma the other year at a nice country gastro pub between Belper and Alfreton. Considering it was quite upmarket, they had obviously run out of money when it came to the bogs. Filthy. Two traps - one has a seat, bog roll and a relatively dry floor. And a space where there used to be a door. The other one had a door but no seat and it looked as though someone had smeared a chocolate fudge cake in the pan. Decision was needed pronto as I had a turtles head scenario developing. I chose the former. My brother told me a story of when he was on a night out years ago and needed a shite in a dodgy pub, no bog roll at all so he was panicking until he remembered that he'd gone to the bank earlier in the day and still had his paying-in book in his pocket. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NurembergVillan Posted April 25, 2019 Moderator Share Posted April 25, 2019 24 minutes ago, chrisp65 said: Needs a catchy title. Captain's Logs? Fifty Shades of Brown? Lord of the Ring Stingers? Eht Oop Selat Fo Xela Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HanoiVillan Posted April 25, 2019 Share Posted April 25, 2019 The Kecks Files 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Paddywhack Posted April 25, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted April 25, 2019 Cackanory 8 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Designer1 Posted April 25, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted April 25, 2019 8 minutes ago, Paddywhack said: Cackanory Winner! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted April 25, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted April 25, 2019 On 04/04/2019 at 19:56, HanoiVillan said: I'm sure I said this before in the 'rubbish claims to fame' thread, but I met Fred Dibnah once and he was a real gent. Showed my family all around a steam engine or something somewhere or other (I was very young, but I remember him being a genuinely charming guy who talked to us randomers for ages when he clearly didn't need to). Fred Dibnah spoke at a Dinner I went to once. I was on the top table and he was a charming lovely man. Despite all the dinner jackets he would only wear his blue working clothes. His speech started well but then he lost the room halfway through as he was going way too technical. My boss who is a very loud natural comedian started waiving his serviette in the air begging enough is enough Fred. It was a bit scandalous and even got into trade press. His punishment the next year was "If you think it's so easy, you have a go" As I suspected he absolutely smashed it. I was again on top table so got a right mullering from him. The professional comedian told him it was the best amateur stint he'd ever seen and urged him to go professional. Anyway, the day of the dinner he came up to me at work because he had a joke he was going to deliver which due to circumstances would be in very bad taste. Fred Dibnah had actually died that week (for real) He joke was "Have you heard Fred Dibnah has died? Apparently he was run over by his own Traction Engine. His wife says he was chuffed to bits" I told him no way he should do that after last year, but he did. Proper Frankie Boyle moment in the room. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Albrighton Posted April 25, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted April 25, 2019 Anyone else think of Fred Dinenage when they see or hear Fred Dibnah’s name? It’s only for half a second, but it’s literally every damn time for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sidcow Posted April 26, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted April 26, 2019 10 hours ago, Shropshire Lad said: Anyone else think of Fred Dinenage when they see or hear Fred Dibnah’s name? It’s only for half a second, but it’s literally every damn time for me. No. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post blandy Posted April 26, 2019 Moderator Popular Post Share Posted April 26, 2019 13 hours ago, Shropshire Lad said: Anyone else think of Fred Dinenage when they see or hear Fred Dibnah’s name? It’s only for half a second, but it’s literally every damn time for me. How? 5 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted April 26, 2019 Share Posted April 26, 2019 13 hours ago, Shropshire Lad said: Anyone else think of Fred Dinenage when they see or hear Fred Dibnah’s name? It’s only for half a second, but it’s literally every damn time for me. Just shut up you idiot. Look at how many people you've upset. Have a think about what you've done. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharkyvilla Posted April 26, 2019 Share Posted April 26, 2019 I didn't know Fred Dinenage even has a national presence, I only know him from our local news. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Albrighton Posted April 26, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted April 26, 2019 1 hour ago, sharkyvilla said: I didn't know Fred Dinenage even has a national presence, I only know him from our local news. As per Blandy’s clever joke above lapal’s typically whimsical retort, he was a presenter on “How” and “How 2”, the latter of which is where I know him from. He can be seen now on freeview doing programmes about grisly murders. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Paddywhack Posted April 26, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted April 26, 2019 38 minutes ago, Shropshire Lad said: As per Blandy’s clever joke above lapal’s typically whimsical retort, he was a presenter on “How” and “How 2”, the latter of which is where I know him from. He can be seen now on freeview doing programmes about grisly murders. I can't bear them. 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharkyvilla Posted April 26, 2019 Share Posted April 26, 2019 2 hours ago, Shropshire Lad said: As per Blandy’s clever joke above lapal’s typically whimsical retort, he was a presenter on “How” and “How 2”, the latter of which is where I know him from. He can be seen now on freeview doing programmes about grisly murders. Shit how could I forget How 2? Carol Vordeman as well wasnt it? My mate's claim to fame is that Fred Dinenage interviewed him as part of a Sussex's Worst Family segment on the evening news. To be fair he is the least mental out of the 10 kids in the family. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Designer1 Posted April 26, 2019 VT Supporter Share Posted April 26, 2019 18 hours ago, Shropshire Lad said: Anyone else think of Fred Dinenage when they see or hear Fred Dibnah’s name? It’s only for half a second, but it’s literally every damn time for me. I once wrote a song called Fred Dinenage's Violent Gambit Sequel. True story. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NurembergVillan Posted April 29, 2019 Moderator Share Posted April 29, 2019 I'm going into hospital in a couple of hours to have 6 (six) wisdom teeth out. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jim Posted April 29, 2019 Share Posted April 29, 2019 On 26/04/2019 at 16:26, sharkyvilla said: Shit how could I forget How 2? Carol Vordeman as well wasnt it? My mate's claim to fame is that Fred Dinenage interviewed him as part of a Sussex's Worst Family segment on the evening news. To be fair he is the least mental out of the 10 kids in the family. Ander later is was Gail Mckenna, who also used to get her baps out in the Sun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted April 29, 2019 Share Posted April 29, 2019 8 hours ago, NurembergVillan said: I'm going into hospital in a couple of hours to have 6 (six) wisdom teeth out. Happy Monday! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts