Shillzz Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 Has only happened to me once, inexplicably in my mid teens, which makes no sense what so ever. So unexpected was it, that I didn't even check for about half an hour afterwards. I'm not sure how many people would have noticed, but being sat in Burger King (Cheltenham) may have helped to mask the smell with an even more unpleasant one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phumfeinz Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 Has never happened to me, but then I'm not a disgusting slob who goes around farting in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 Incontinent arseholes! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCforever1991 Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 Literally 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 Vile creatures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCforever1991 Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 Vile creatures. Glass houses, stones 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted September 6, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted September 6, 2013 I've started getting into a routine (that I don't want) of needing a shit in the middle of the day. You know when you hold it for ages, you start farting? Well it's easy generally cause you can blame it on the kids, but the staffroom is potentially awkward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC_Hitz Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 I take active pride in my poo routine. At around 11 o'clock everyday the need arises so I prepare everything, from smart phone to newspaper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hogso Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 My poo is at 4.15-4.45pm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 I had an impending bum blast at work one time that couldn't wait...I don't like sitting on public toilet seats, so I did the old half stand/squat routine. I unleashed a sloppy stinking fart bomb all over the wall behind the toilet. It went up and out, not down. A gravity defying gravy of molten man-magma exploded in a uniform 2 foot radius behind me. Jackson Pollock would have been proud. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coda Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 Jackson Poollock. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 Poo before run in the morning. Poo after post-dinner coffee. Gotta have routine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 Pootine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leviramsey Posted September 6, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted September 6, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davkaus Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 What the **** is that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 It looks contagious, whatever it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCforever1991 Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 (edited) It's Poutine, originates from Québec Edited September 6, 2013 by AVFCforever1991 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 Ha, in the pub, something has just kicked off and someone has just tried to run someone over and then got out the car and give them a slap. Don't know what happened but it was all a bit handbags at dawn, the Bloke that gave the other one a slap is generally alright though and I know it normally takes quite a bit to piss him off. Good job the old bouncer is on he had it all sorted within seconds, not like the other words removed who have been in here for the last few months Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 (edited) A few years back I went out despite feeling queasy. Stood at the urinal and pushed out the standard fart, only it turned out to be a hot gush of molten shit. Panicking, I rushed to the nearest cubicle and whipped down my jeans to discover a quivering broth of brown stench pooled in my boxers. By this point I was wretching at the smell. I managed to manoeuvre my jeans and boxers off without spilling any and discarded the saturated underwear in the toilet, still gagging. Idiotically, I flushed and the toilet began to fill up, blocked by my shitty pants. I pulled up my jeans and made a swift getaway. My mates and I promptly left that bar and headed elsewhere, me constantly worried of the consequences of another eruption, this time without the defensive layer of underwear to protect me from exposure. I quelled my fears by getting wasted. Somehow I managed to pull later that night. I inspected the back of my jeans in the morning to find that 3 suspicious looking stains had in fact seeped through. Good laugh reading that Edited September 6, 2013 by Meath_Villan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 I honestly cannot believe what I have read over the last few pages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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