General Election Pre-Thread (1 of 6)

[Davkaus]

I wasn't entirely fair to Sunak, I wrote it off as an idiotic idea without looking at the detail

Quote

The voluntary option would see young people spending 25 days with organisations such as the police, the fire service, the NHS, or charities that work with older isolated people.

I mean, it just gets worse doesn't it. You know what the police, fire service and NHS need? A bunch of 18 year olds who don't want to be there.

And this programme of forced labour of our young? It will *cost* us £2.5bn a year. This is what he and his closest advisors came up with to try to correct their disastrous campaign launch? 

Edited May 25 by Davkaus

[Chindie]

Reeves in Heil sucking off Thatcher again. 

*klaxon blares*

[Mark Albrighton]

I’m looking forward to when he pledges to ensure that Wagon Wheels are the produced to the size everyone remembers they once were in the 70’s.

[Davkaus]

Just now, Mark Albrighton said:

I’m looking forward to when he pledges to ensure that Wagon Wheels are the produced to the size everyone remembers they once were in the 70’s.

They're just need to get Rishi to hold a modern one up to the camera, it'll look **** massive.

[chrisp65]

Will 18 year old professional footballers only be allowed to play midweek games?
 

Will 18 year olds be banned from having jobs that include any weekend work?
 

This is already my favourite ever election campaign.

 

[bickster]

2 minutes ago, chrisp65 said:

This is already my favourite ever election campaign

Mine too and it’s not 4 days old yet

I've just ordered some surgical needles and twine, got a feeling they come in handy at some point

[bickster]

Has anybody suggested that he brings in a law that will make it illegal for all summers not be like 1976?

[chrisp65]

Bring back white dogshit.

All police to twirl a truncheon when walking.

No restaurant to serve that foreign muck.

Women to drink only babycham OR snowballs, no mixing drinks, proof of genitals required.

 

[bickster]

This is going to be a huge problem for the Tories…. They are yet to choose about 30% of their slate. The logistics of that are insane in less than two weeks. 

 

[chrisp65]

Barracks for a few hundred thousand eighteen year olds might be more of a problem.

 

[Mandy Lifeboats]

Why not have all asylum seekers spending 1 year in the army/working in the community?   

It would show they are contributing to the UK whilst also integrating them with the wider community.

 

[MCU]

At this point I am convinced he's trying to get the worst results of all time. No way did he ever think this will be a vote winner for anyone born past 1955??

[Davkaus]

Labour's attack line on the national service policy aren't that it's a terrible idea, but that it's uncosted 

 

[Davkaus]

Cleverley exposing just how little they've actually thought about this. When reading about the alternative being a weekend a month working in the police, fire service or NHS. If you're a broadly sensible person, you probably imagined that'd be some back office work out of the way where they can't do much harm.

No, James Cleverley reckons that these 18 year olds there against there will are going to be special constables, on call fire fighters and emergency medics.

Nobody tell him how long the training would be.

[Jareth]

I think this policy will be entirely unravelled by about lunchtime

[bickster]

11 minutes ago, Jareth said:

I think this policy will be entirely unravelled by about lunchtime

It was never ravelled  

[ml1dch]

10 minutes ago, Jareth said:

I think this policy will be entirely unravelled by about lunchtime

I don't get why they didn't do their usual thing, leak to a friendly Sunday newspaper that "there is talk that maybe a new form of National Service could be part of the Conservative manifesto" see how it lands and react appropriately. 

Don't do a big Saturday night splash, saying it's now a policy when nobody had asked about it.

[mjmooney]

10 hours ago, chrisp65 said:

Bring back white dogshit.

All police to twirl a truncheon when walking.

No restaurant to serve that foreign muck.

Women to drink only babycham OR snowballs, no mixing drinks, proof of genitals required.

If they really want to play to the gammon pensioner demographic, they need to bring back hanging and birching. 

[mjmooney]

1 hour ago, Mandy Lifeboats said:

Why not have all asylum seekers spending 1 year in the army?  

Indeed. Useful weapons training for the jihad. 

[Mandy Lifeboats]

1 hour ago, mjmooney said:

Indeed. Useful weapons training for the jihad. 

Bring your own gun.  That will cut costs.