mjmooney Posted May 31, 2021 Author VT Supporter Share Posted May 31, 2021 I do think that being an only child made me both selfish and self-sufficient. Swings and roundabouts. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted May 31, 2021 Share Posted May 31, 2021 4 minutes ago, mjmooney said: I do think that being an only child made me both selfish and self-sufficient. Swings and roundabouts. I’m pretty selfish. I’m also easily pleased and can handle being on my own and enjoying my own company. Might stem from being an only child. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted May 31, 2021 Author VT Supporter Share Posted May 31, 2021 Just now, Rugeley Villa said: I’m pretty selfish. I’m also easily pleased and can handle being on my own and enjoying my own company. Might stem from being an only child. Yep, describes me exactly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted May 31, 2021 Share Posted May 31, 2021 1 hour ago, Seat68 said: Exactly and in no way has he or my neglectful parents shaped me in any way. The only effect is I have an aversion to nostalgia. But you listen to country music! 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted May 31, 2021 Share Posted May 31, 2021 52 minutes ago, mjmooney said: They actually refused to go to her wedding My Grandfather's Irish parents refused to go to his chapel wedding. Caused a permanent rift. 1930's Boston was still a powder keg of tension between Catholic/Protestant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KenjiOgiwara Posted May 31, 2021 Share Posted May 31, 2021 (edited) 56 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said: I’m pretty selfish. I’m also easily pleased and can handle being on my own and enjoying my own company. Might stem from being an only child. Fits me to a tee as well, even if I'm not an only child. It's always been a bit of an annoyance really cause socially it's a bit unacceptable to be happy by yourself. And in relationships it's forcing me to continously focus on whether I'm 'doing my thing' or showing interest in her. It's stupid, but also hard cause I really need my own space and time to find 'balance' and not lose my shit. On the other hand it made me love working out, go fishing and collect random stuff Edited May 31, 2021 by KenjiOgiwara Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted May 31, 2021 Share Posted May 31, 2021 58 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said: I’m pretty selfish. I’m also easily pleased and can handle being on my own and enjoying my own company. Might stem from being an only child. I live alone and could happily live alone for the rest of my life. Its not that I don't like people, I value my friendships, but i'm happy to live in my own space and do exactly what I want. I guess i'm almost conditioned now! I don't think i'd respond well to sharing a living space. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted May 31, 2021 Share Posted May 31, 2021 24 minutes ago, maqroll said: But you listen to country music! This is true. Maybe I have been tainted by it after all. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Xela Posted May 31, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 31, 2021 Also, I don't agree with the old saying that "blood is thicker than water". For overseas readers, its an old English medieval saying that family ties should be stronger than any other relationship you have. Nah. Don't agree. Why should you put up with shit just because you are related? 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa4europe Posted May 31, 2021 Share Posted May 31, 2021 33 minutes ago, Xela said: Also, I don't agree with the old saying that "blood is thicker than water". For overseas readers, its an old English medieval saying that family ties should be stronger than any other relationship you have. Nah. Don't agree. Why should you put up with shit just because you are related? You sound like someone who has a "friends are the family we choose" fridge magnet Its true though, I'm lucky enough to have a good relationship with both, the relationship I have with my lads group and my brother is very different, I'm closer to them but it is deeper with him 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted May 31, 2021 Author VT Supporter Share Posted May 31, 2021 (edited) 42 minutes ago, Xela said: Also, I don't agree with the old saying that "blood is thicker than water". For overseas readers, its an old English medieval saying that family ties should be stronger than any other relationship you have. Nah. Don't agree. Why should you put up with shit just because you are related? As an only child I'm no expert, but I have seen that saying illustrated with (say) brothers who don't get along at all, but will close ranks if attacked by an outsider. It does happen. It's like: "I'm allowed to beat the crap out of our kid, but nobody else is". Edited May 31, 2021 by mjmooney Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tegis Posted May 31, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted May 31, 2021 Married 22 years now with kids aged 20 and 18. Waiting for them to take their own step towards life. No drama here. I get on with the whole lot. Parents, In-laws, everyone. The only strange bit about it is me and my brother, we are more like cousins. We get on great but not really close. Born 6 years apart and grew up with 24/7 ice-hockey and now we both do IT for a living but still. It's strange. Ah well, it works. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted May 31, 2021 Share Posted May 31, 2021 14 minutes ago, mjmooney said: As an only child I'm no expert, but I have seen that saying illustrated with (say) brothers who don't get along at all, but will close ranks if attacked by an outsider. It does happen. It's like: "I'm allowed to beat the crap out of our kid, but nobody else is". Yes this definitely is the case . Seen it a few times where family members who are not close join forces when attacked in whichever way. I kind of had to learn to stick up for myself quick, because no dad , no brothers and not from a family which was known to stick up for each other, so it was left down to me to fight my own battles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted May 31, 2021 Share Posted May 31, 2021 1 hour ago, KenjiOgiwara said: Fits me to a tee as well, even if I'm not an only child. It's always been a bit of an annoyance really cause socially it's a bit unacceptable to be happy by yourself. And in relationships it's forcing me to continously focus on whether I'm 'doing my thing' or showing interest in her. It's stupid, but also hard cause I really need my own space and time to find 'balance' and not lose my shit. On the other hand it made me love working out, go fishing and collect random stuff Same here mate. It often causes conflict in our relationship. I leave her be which annoys her, but I’m quite happy to be left alone . I can go days/weeks without a cuddle or any emotional involvement. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post rjw63 Posted May 31, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted May 31, 2021 Haven't spoken to my daughter for 14 years pretty much. Her choice. I tried at first but got nowhere and now I'm in a better place with a better partner it's definitely her loss. I lose no sleep over it at all. My two sons make up for it, both good lads. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
il_serpente Posted June 1, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted June 1, 2021 12 hours ago, Xela said: Also, I don't agree with the old saying that "blood is thicker than water". For overseas readers, its an old English medieval saying that family ties should be stronger than any other relationship you have. Nah. Don't agree. Why should you put up with shit just because you are related? Then you would subscribe to the alternate form/meaning of the saying that goes, "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted June 1, 2021 Share Posted June 1, 2021 15 hours ago, rjw63 said: Haven't spoken to my daughter for 14 years pretty much. Her choice. I tried at first but got nowhere and now I'm in a better place with a better partner it's definitely her loss. I lose no sleep over it at all. My two sons make up for it, both good lads. Crazy isn’t it. Why doesn’t she make the effort? Did your ex turn her against you or summat . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharkyvilla Posted June 1, 2021 Share Posted June 1, 2021 I've been quite lucky with my family. I love my Dad though I've never really liked him that much if that makes sense, but he provided everything for us. I suspect Mum and Dad fell out of love with each other a long time ago as he would always be quick to put her down with a snide comment but he was there for her right to the end of her battle with cancer. He is due to get remarried in August which I'm glad as I wouldn't want to see him be miserable for the next 20 years but it's obviously a bit daunting getting a new step family and tbh seeing him being a lot nicer to his fiancee compared to my Mum hurts a bit. My brothers are good mates and are very similar to me, so no issues there, bar my sister-in-law after a few pints. My Nanna passed away last Friday aged 100 and I have no grandparents left now so we are a pretty small unit, with just 2 cousins. Getting new step brothers and a step sister will be a bit weird and I'm not sure if I can be arsed. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 2, 2021 Share Posted June 2, 2021 On 01/06/2021 at 14:43, Rugeley Villa said: Crazy isn’t it. Why doesn’t she make the effort? Did your ex turn her against you or summat . I think that was part of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubbs Posted June 2, 2021 Share Posted June 2, 2021 Haven't properly spoken to my brother for years. Don't miss him one bit. On the rare occasion we have spoken its to tell him dad was in hospital and his usual excuse comes out - I'm a 2 hour drive away so I can't come. Once the old man does go I'll quite happily never speak to him again. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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