Troglodyte Posted December 17, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted December 17, 2012 When my Indian girlfriend asked me to give her a facial, I nearly came on the spot. I hope that one's not bindi-unne. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smetrov Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 People are making apocalypse jokes like there’s no tomorrow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zatman Posted December 21, 2012 Share Posted December 21, 2012 posted in liverpool thread but might find more fans here. mayans are like liverpool fans, making bold predictions, living on ancient history and lost in modern civilization 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted December 21, 2012 Share Posted December 21, 2012 Fred Talbot is forecasting some unpleasant showers. Mainly the ones in prison Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PussEKatt Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Reg tells his 3 friends that he is willing to bet them $100 each that they can blindfold him and put a drink in front of him, and he will drink it and then tell them exactly what drink it is. John puts a drink in front of Reg, he takes a big swig and says, thats Swan Gold 2011 His friends are amazed. Andy puts a drink in front of Reg, he takes a big swig and says, thats chanpaigne 1943 His friends are really surprised. Tom puts a drink in front of Reg, he takes a big swig and says, for **** sake that's petrol Tom says, yes but is it regular or super. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimzk5 Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 Get out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 I should have stopped reading when he misspelled champagne... ...hell, I should have stopped reading when I saw it was from PussEKatt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troglodyte Posted December 23, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted December 23, 2012 It made me want to never read anything again, just in case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Designer1 Posted December 23, 2012 VT Supporter Share Posted December 23, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted December 23, 2012 Share Posted December 23, 2012 I liked it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villadude Posted January 2, 2013 Author Share Posted January 2, 2013 "Excuse me," I said to the woman sat in front of me on the bus, "You have some semen on the back of your jacket." "I'm sure it's not semen," she said, "It's probably yoghurt." "It's definitely semen," I said, "I don't ejaculate yoghurt." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claretman Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 I went to the bank to ask for a loan. The banker said "Tell me your annual income, grossly?" So I said "About £20,000, you c*u*t." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted January 3, 2013 Moderator Share Posted January 3, 2013 You called him a count? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 I went to a talk on Solipsism last week, but nobody else turned up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 An American tourist in Italy is constipated for a week, but when he arrives in Florence, the water is better and his condition goes away. "With Firenze like this," he said, "who needs enemas?" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 The last time I both threw up and shat myself was in Florence. Some bad 'nduja went through me quicker then I could get to the toilet, and then after three days I wound up eating so much buffalo mozzarella that my body rejected it violently onto Viale Antonio Gramsci. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 "Excuse me," I said to the woman sat in front of me on the bus, "You have some semen on the back of your jacket." "I'm sure it's not semen," she said, "It's probably yoghurt." "It's definitely semen," I said, "I don't ejaculate yoghurt." I read this joke and then look to see if it was rob who posted it .....what happened Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Anal sex is a lot like your first car... you don't really want it, but your uncle gives it to you anyway. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted January 5, 2013 Share Posted January 5, 2013 B (.) (.) M Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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