lapal_fan Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troglodyte Posted June 10, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted June 10, 2011 I have a t-shirt that says on the front: Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villahero Posted June 11, 2011 Share Posted June 11, 2011 on the way to work this morning i saw a dead baby ghost...... but it may of been just a hankechief Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted June 16, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted June 16, 2011 A Buddhist monk walks into a pizza parlour and says “Can you make me one with everything?” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Careful with that joke, it's an antique. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted June 16, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted June 16, 2011 I raised from the dead because it was mentioned on R4 this morning. Apparently an interviewer told it to the Dalai Lama and he didn't get it - because he didn't know what pizza was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Don't know what the interviewer expected him to say, everyone knows the Dalai Lama is a doner kebab man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted June 16, 2011 Moderator Share Posted June 16, 2011 Vehh good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted June 16, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted June 16, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I raised from the dead because it was mentioned on R4 this morning. Apparently an interviewer told it to the Dalai Lama and he didn't get it - because he didn't know what pizza was. I heard it on 5Live this morning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 The missus asked me "When you're on a boy's only trip away, do you think about me?" Apparently "Only to stop myself coming too quickly" wasn't the right answer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted June 17, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted June 17, 2011 Two lrishmen are hammering floorboards down in a house. Paddy picks up a nail, realises it's upside down & throws it away. He carries on doing this until Murphy says "Why are you throwing them away? "Because they're upside down!" says Paddy. "You daft prat," replied Murphy "Save 'em for the ceiling!" . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted June 17, 2011 Moderator Share Posted June 17, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villanmike Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them stupid bastards because I wasn't even at home yesterday." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted June 17, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted June 17, 2011 I think Irish jokes are far more "Zen" than Buddhist jokes, for some reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 Probably going straight to hell for this one but what the heck I feel really sorry for josef fritzl this sunday will be the first time in years he won't get a blowjob for father's day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve-67 Posted June 18, 2011 Share Posted June 18, 2011 Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Cheese on toast Made me cry laughing. Brilliant. Reminded me of the one that was done ages ago: How many children with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go ride our bikes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villahero Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 I wanted to get in touch with the spiritual leader of Tibet but they sent me a goat with a long neck !!!! turns out i contacted the ' Dial a Llama '...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 She woke me up this morning by slipping under the duvet and stroking my cock - next thing I'm getting a great blowie. After 10 minutes she emerged, wiping her lips. "That was great, love" I grinned. "I thought you'd enjoy it," she said, winking. "Happy Father's Day, dad." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC_Hitz Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 She woke me up this morning by slipping under the duvet and stroking my cock - next thing I'm getting a great blowie. After 10 minutes she emerged, wiping her lips. "That was great, love" I grinned. "I thought you'd enjoy it," she said, winking. "Happy Father's Day, dad." but Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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