Ryan. Posted July 16, 2016 Share Posted July 16, 2016 (edited) . Edited July 16, 2016 by Ryan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legov Posted July 16, 2016 Share Posted July 16, 2016 1 hour ago, mjmooney said: I have CDO. It's basically OCD, but with the letters in the correct order. Took me a while to get. Bravo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
il_serpente Posted July 16, 2016 VT Supporter Share Posted July 16, 2016 8 hours ago, mjmooney said: I have CDO. It's basically OCD, but with the letters in the correct order. Do you also have lysdexia? That must be maddening. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
useless Posted July 16, 2016 Share Posted July 16, 2016 When Yuri Gagarin had first landed his capsule on Earth, a woman ran to his landing site and asked him if he had come from outer space, to which he responded, "as a matter of fact, I have". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post mjmooney Posted July 17, 2016 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted July 17, 2016 I used to race snails. The best one I had became slower with age, so I removed its shell to make it lighter and more aerodynamic.... Unfortunately it made it more sluggish.... 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted August 4, 2016 VT Supporter Share Posted August 4, 2016 The first rule of Thesaurus Club is you don't talk about, mention, speak of, discuss, or chat about Thesaurus Club. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dont_do_it_doug. Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 On 7/16/2016 at 17:57, useless said: When Yuri Gagarin had first landed his capsule on Earth, a woman ran to his landing site and asked him if he had come from outer space, to which he responded, "as a matter of fact, I have". Is this a joke or an inane fact? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colhint Posted August 4, 2016 Share Posted August 4, 2016 what did the slug say to the snail Big Issue 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted August 5, 2016 Share Posted August 5, 2016 "Have you ever seen a twenty pound note all crumpled up?" asked the wife. "No" I said. She gave me a sexy little smile, reached into her cleavage and pulled out a crumpled twenty pound note. "Have you ever seen a fifty pound note all crumpled up?" she asked. "No" I said. She gave me another sexy little smile, reached into her knickers and pulled out a crumpled fifty pound note. "Now" she said "have you ever seen £45,000 all crumpled up?" "No" I said, intrigued. "Well, go and take a quick look in the garage". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choffer Posted August 5, 2016 VT Supporter Share Posted August 5, 2016 On 17 July 2016 at 14:04, mjmooney said: I used to race snails. The best one I had became slower with age, so I removed its shell to make it lighter and more aerodynamic.... Unfortunately it made it more sluggish.... On 6 September 2014 at 18:49, choffer said: I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him go faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8pints Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 A man visits a pub every night, orders 3 pints all at once, gulps them down and leaves. One night the landlord catches him before he leaves and asks him why "My brothers and I have a tradition" The man answers "Whenever we have a pint we'll drink one for each of us, my one brother in Jamaica and the other in Ireland both do it" One day, the man comes in and only orders 2 pints. The landlord comes over and solemnly says "Sorry for your loss." "What?" The man replies a little startled "Oh, nobody died...I quit drinking." 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted August 6, 2016 Share Posted August 6, 2016 hey, look who's back 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
useless Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Why do ligers and ducks go to the bakers, because they're both inter-bread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
useless Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 At the bank There was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yuan for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hundred dollar for yuan. Today I only get hundred eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations. The Asian lady says, "Fluck you white people too!" 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJ Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 A man asks his wife " Honey, what would you do if I told you I won the lottery?" His wife responds " Why darling, I would take half and leave you, Ha ha." The man says " OK then. Here is 12 dollars and 15 cents. Now piss off!" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LxYoungAVFC Posted August 19, 2016 Share Posted August 19, 2016 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NurembergVillan Posted August 19, 2016 Moderator Share Posted August 19, 2016 On 8/5/2016 at 13:08, rjw63 said: "Have you ever seen a twenty pound note all crumpled up?" asked the wife. "No" I said. She gave me a sexy little smile, reached into her cleavage and pulled out a crumpled twenty pound note. "Have you ever seen a fifty pound note all crumpled up?" she asked. "No" I said. She gave me another sexy little smile, reached into her knickers and pulled out a crumpled fifty pound note. "Now" she said "have you ever seen £45,000 all crumpled up?" "No" I said, intrigued. "Well, go and take a quick look in the garage". Why don't I get this? And why does the word crumpled link to a Sun article about Vanilla Ice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted August 19, 2016 Share Posted August 19, 2016 Spoiler She's crashed his car. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted August 20, 2016 Share Posted August 20, 2016 11 hours ago, NurembergVillan said: Why don't I get this? Late nights, nappy changing, secret alcoholism, bound to be one of those if not all. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NurembergVillan Posted August 20, 2016 Moderator Share Posted August 20, 2016 11 hours ago, Xann said: Reveal hidden contents She's crashed his car. Ah! That's where I went wrong. Was expecting it to be funny Has anyone else got a link within there too? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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