choffer Posted July 22, 2016 VT Supporter Share Posted July 22, 2016 1 hour ago, chrisp65 said: little story to show how cool I am and why I should be the next bond.... On holiday in Kenya we had a week at the beach (oooh yeah) and we signed up for some scuba. Practised in the pool, all the usual. Eventually we went out on a glass bottomed boat, just 8 of us. It was like some corny joke, a German couple, French couple, two Americans and me and my missus. We chugged out to sea, parked up at the reef and they dished out the scuba gear. All four womens jointly decided they were staying on the boat sunbathing and looking at the fishies through the glass. German guy put on the gear jumped in and swam off. French guy and American guy put on the gear jumped in and swam off. Ahhh, tits. Looks like I've got to too. Stick on the gear, jump in and I'm utterly taken by surprise that the water is cold, gasp, suck in sea water. A wave or a bit of current gets me and pushes me under the boat where I am now doing my best panicking dying fly impression pinned to the underside of the glass bottom boat. With an audience looking down. The guys running the boat had thrown a load of bread in the water to attract extra fish. That was all under the boat, with the fish fighting to get me out of the way so they could grab the bread. **** brilliant. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 3 hours ago, chrisp65 said: little story to show how cool I am and why I should be the next bond.... On holiday in Kenya we had a week at the beach (oooh yeah) and we signed up for some scuba. Practised in the pool, all the usual. Eventually we went out on a glass bottomed boat, just 8 of us. It was like some corny joke, a German couple, French couple, two Americans and me and my missus. We chugged out to sea, parked up at the reef and they dished out the scuba gear. All four womens jointly decided they were staying on the boat sunbathing and looking at the fishies through the glass. German guy put on the gear jumped in and swam off. French guy and American guy put on the gear jumped in and swam off. Ahhh, tits. Looks like I've got to too. Stick on the gear, jump in and I'm utterly taken by surprise that the water is cold, gasp, suck in sea water. A wave or a bit of current gets me and pushes me under the boat where I am now doing my best panicking dying fly impression pinned to the underside of the glass bottom boat. With an audience looking down. The guys running the boat had thrown a load of bread in the water to attract extra fish. That was all under the boat, with the fish fighting to get me out of the way so they could grab the bread. **** brilliant. and a reason why I shouldn't be the next bond is, mrs H and the kids were out on a glass bottom boat once and I was out snorkelling so I dropped my shorts and swam underneath the boat came up and said did everyone see the full moon fish .. can't really picture 007 doing that if I'm honest 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted September 8, 2016 Author Share Posted September 8, 2016 Had a midnight outdoor swim in the buff during an electrical storm on Tuesday. I was half cut, it was almost definitely a stupid thing to do, but it was brilliant 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted July 15, 2018 Author Share Posted July 15, 2018 Had intended to get to the Serpentine today, but she wanted to stay local for a burrito Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeyp102 Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 Swimming in lakes is brilliant. In New Zealand I would often jump in a cold lake first thing in the morning. Great hangover cure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 Was down in Cornwall a week ago. Day one I went sea swimming, then noticed there was no blue flag. Then read the little sign in the wc in the apartment that said to look after the beach by binning sanitary towels and not flush them. Didn't go back in the sea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 I love swimming in the sea but when you can't touch the floor with your feet you are instantly hit with the knowledge that you have just slipped a few notches down the food chain. It's a genuine adrenaline rush not knowing what's swimming below you. Was that a carrier bag or a Great White ? Just keep swimming man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 I think I saw photos of Great Whites in the Med this year? Saying that, there was a jelly fish and my nipper was outta that water faster than a torpedo. Was doing the tourist mackerel fishing thing once in a little fishing boat off Cornwall and two Basking Sharks swam by, incredible things, about the same size as the boat. I know they're toothless, but quite sobering to see something that big in the water. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 3 minutes ago, chrisp65 said: I think I saw photos of Great Whites in the Med this year? They've been spotted off the west coast of France and there's been sporadic reports they may hunt near our coastline. We need an underwater border wall and the implementation of a Lamnidae visa system pronto . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 had to look up the word lamnidae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted July 15, 2018 Share Posted July 15, 2018 5 minutes ago, chrisp65 said: had to look up the word lamnidae If the oceans get any warmer you might just be able to look out of the window. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted August 9, 2020 Author Share Posted August 9, 2020 Quote Discover the best wild swim locations in Midlands and Central England, whether a river swim, a lake or even a waterfall. http://www.wildswimming.co.uk/midlands-and-central-england/?multi_region=midlands-and-central-england Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted August 9, 2020 Share Posted August 9, 2020 There is a killer great white swimming around the waters of the area I'm at right now, so no swimming for me, thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted August 9, 2020 Author Share Posted August 9, 2020 1 minute ago, maqroll said: There is a killer great white swimming around the waters of the area I'm at right now, so no swimming for me, thanks! Some think they're near the UK coast atm. Not much of a shark threat in the rivers of the Midlands Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted August 9, 2020 Share Posted August 9, 2020 24 minutes ago, maqroll said: There is a killer great white swimming around the waters of the area I'm at right now, so no swimming for me, thanks! Stop being a pussy and get in the sea. If people stop getting eaten, the shark has basically won. We had a weird jellyfish wash up last year, did that stop me going in the sea? Only for a couple of days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy Lifeboats Posted August 9, 2020 Share Posted August 9, 2020 1 hour ago, maqroll said: There is a killer great white swimming around the waters of the area I'm at right now, so no swimming for me, thanks! UK government advice - If the shark wears a mask it safe. We can’t force it to wear a mask but good old shark common sense is needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted August 9, 2020 VT Supporter Share Posted August 9, 2020 On 22/07/2016 at 09:38, chrisp65 said: little story to show how cool I am and why I should be the next bond.... On holiday in Kenya we had a week at the beach (oooh yeah) and we signed up for some scuba. Practised in the pool, all the usual. Eventually we went out on a glass bottomed boat, just 8 of us. It was like some corny joke, a German couple, French couple, two Americans and me and my missus. We chugged out to sea, parked up at the reef and they dished out the scuba gear. All four womens jointly decided they were staying on the boat sunbathing and looking at the fishies through the glass. German guy put on the gear jumped in and swam off. French guy and American guy put on the gear jumped in and swam off. Ahhh, tits. Looks like I've got to too. Stick on the gear, jump in and I'm utterly taken by surprise that the water is cold, gasp, suck in sea water. A wave or a bit of current gets me and pushes me under the boat where I am now doing my best panicking dying fly impression pinned to the underside of the glass bottom boat. With an audience looking down. The guys running the boat had thrown a load of bread in the water to attract extra fish. That was all under the boat, with the fish fighting to get me out of the way so they could grab the bread. **** brilliant. Some years ago on holiday in Corfu, we went for a trip on a sailing boat out to some rocks with spectacular underwater caves. When we got there the skipper said if anybody wants to have a swim, now's your chance. One (fat, middle aged) bloke had been bragging about his swimming skills, and proceeded to get kitted up in wetsuit, mask, snorkel, flippers, the full monty. Jumped in. After about five seconds he's floundering and panicking, and had to be unceremoniously fished back on board. At which point, a little girl, maybe eight or nine years old, dives overboard in her swimming costume, and spends the next ten minutes cavorting gracefully through the caves like a mermaid. The look on the fat bloke's face was precious, we were all pissing ourselves laughing. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted August 9, 2020 Share Posted August 9, 2020 4 minutes ago, mjmooney said: Some years ago on holiday in Corfu, we went for a trip on a sailing boat out to some rocks with spectacular underwater caves. When we got there the skipper said if anybody wants to have a swim, now's your chance. One (fat, middle aged) bloke had been bragging about his swimming skills, and proceeded to get kitted up in wetsuit, mask, snorkel, flippers, the full monty. Jumped in. After about five seconds he's floundering and panicking, and had to be unceremoniously fished back on board. At which point, a little girl, maybe eight or nine years old, dives overboard in her swimming costume, and spends the next ten minutes cavorting gracefully through the caves like a mermaid. The look on the fat bloke's face was precious, we were all pissing ourselves laughing. Ladies and gentlemen, I was that little girl. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted August 9, 2020 Share Posted August 9, 2020 4 hours ago, Xann said: Some think they're near the UK coast atm. Not much of a shark threat in the rivers of the Midlands A bull shark that swam up the Mississippi was once spotted in Illinois, so never say never... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted August 9, 2020 Share Posted August 9, 2020 3 hours ago, chrisp65 said: Stop being a pussy and get in the sea. If people stop getting eaten, the shark has basically won. We had a weird jellyfish wash up last year, did that stop me going in the sea? Only for a couple of days. The shark was sighted a few days ago maybe a half mile from where I am. And I'm not far from "Seal Cove". So feel free to ram a giant tampon up my arse, I'm not going in. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts