The banker loving, baby-eating Tory party thread (regenerated)

[desensitized43]

16 minutes ago, Genie said:

My first thought was why local councils are  making investments? Surely they should be focussed on public services and other bodies should be responsible for investments.

Given the ridiculous amount of money involved here I can’t believe it’s simply backing a bad horse. I would not be surprised to hear about connections between public fund account holders and the private businesses getting tonnes of public money.

What’s the point of being Tory if you can’t throw a bit of money that isn’t yours at the markets to make a fast buck every now and then?

[bickster]

4 minutes ago, desensitized43 said:

What’s the point of being Tory if you can’t throw a bit of money that isn’t yours at the markets to make a fast buck every now and then?

In the spirit of fairness, it isn't just Tory councils that do this. I may have posted before about some ludicrous investments in Liverpool before. I'll not elaborate in this thread other than to say...The Cunard Building debacle.

[mjmooney]

[Marka Ragnos]

I don’t know about all this Boris stuff. As an outsider, the media piling on after an incredibly unsurprising and almost quantitatively celebrated report has the feel of some kind of very British public purification ritual. What’s really going  on? I keep asking myself. Are the druidical priests going to make an appearance? Have the libations begun? Everybody has to get in on the act, too. The newspaper commentary also reminds me a little, too, of American battle rap, where fresh layers of wit come to outwit the previous layers, and it just goes on and on until spent.

Hasn’t this pattern of Boris’ adolescent behavior, public indignation, and then hectares and hectares of arch newspaper and social media commentary (from across the political spectrum) been going on with Boris for years and years? Yes, the report is different—and it’s so not, too. It reminds me a bit of how the US press reflexively (but without necessary reflection) feeds the Trump beast. But what do I know?

Edited June 16, 2023 by Marka Ragnos

[Genie]

Boris has a new job, writing for the Daily Fail.

He also broke the ministerial code by taking the job before clearing it parliamentary authorities.

First article will land later today…

[chrisp65]

4 minutes ago, Genie said:

Boris has a new job, writing for the Daily Fail.

He also broke the ministerial code by taking the job before clearing it parliamentary authorities.

First article will land later today…

Do you think he’ll go down the watermelon smiles route? Or threats to have people beaten up route?

 

[Genie]

3 minutes ago, chrisp65 said:

Do you think he’ll go down the watermelon smiles route? Or threats to have people beaten up route?

 

The opportunities are endless.

Maybe he’ll do a top 5 shags at work.

[bickster]

3 minutes ago, chrisp65 said:

Do you think he’ll go down the watermelon smiles route? Or threats to have people beaten up route?

 

Its the Heil, he'll stick to the pillarboxes

[desensitized43]

Just gets more and more ridiculous this.

Turns out Johnson informed the advisory committee on business half an hour before it was announced that he was writing for the Heil.

You’re supposed to give them time to scrutinise and make sure that outside business interests are within the rules.

He never gave a toss about any of the rules but he’s now stopped even pretending.

[Genie]

It’s going to be explosive isn’t it, I wonder how much it will be true? I’m gonna predict less than 5% (and that includes his name and the date).

[desensitized43]

Just now, Genie said:

It’s going to be explosive isn’t it, I wonder how much it will be true? I’m gonna predict less than 5% (and that includes his name and the date).

Well his first name ain’t Boris, so there’s the first lie.

[Marka Ragnos]

6 minutes ago, Genie said:

It’s going to be explosive isn’t it, I wonder how much it will be true? I’m gonna predict less than 5% (and that includes his name and the date).

And yet, this mockery of a mockery of a mockery of a Tory politician has managed to intoxicate the London media since before many on VT were born. He's lied from the very beginning of his journalism career, even as a graduate trainee. But he's advanced and advanced. I don't get it. 

[Genie]

This can’t be it… can it?

link

Quote

I first thought that something was up when I saw that a certain member of the Cabinet had miraculously changed his appearance. He had acquired a new jawline. His neck emerged without effort from his collar. When he rose from his chair at the Cabinet table, that chair no longer tried to cling longingly about his hips.

I got it! He had lost weight, stones and stones of belly and dewlap; and I immediately thought of Julius Caesar, and his preference for well-fed colleagues.

Let me have men about me that are fat,’ said the Roman dictator, shortly before his assassination. ‘Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look.’

As it turned out, Caesar was right to be worried about Cassius. Then I noticed another colleague whose silhouette was shrinking visibly; and another. By this time my spider senses were jangling.

If an otherwise healthy middle-aged man displays sudden weight loss, I reasoned, there are only two possible explanations. Either he has fallen hopelessly in love, or else he is about to mount a Tory leadership bid.

 

[Genie]

 

[Straggler]

1 hour ago, Genie said:

This can’t be it… can it?

link

 

I thought this had to be a parody article.  I honestly didn't think Johnson could surprise me anymore, but today he managed it.  They handed him a megaphone and he put it to his buthole and sharted.

[Genie]

23 minutes ago, Straggler said:

I thought this had to be a parody article.  I honestly didn't think Johnson could surprise me anymore, but today he managed it.  They handed him a megaphone and he put it to his buthole and sharted.

and took 6 figures off them  

I can’t believe they posted it tbh. They should have thrown it in the bin and asked him to try harder.

Edited June 16, 2023 by Genie

[chrisp65]

I suspect that you need to buy the paper for the reveal, that the first letter of every line spells out sunakisacock

 

[VILLAMARV]

18 hours ago, Marka Ragnos said:

And yet, this mockery of a mockery of a mockery of a Tory politician has managed to intoxicate the London media since before many on VT were born. He's lied from the very beginning of his journalism career, even as a graduate trainee. But he's advanced and advanced. I don't get it. 

Surely lying is a prerequisite to being a person on the party list, no?

[Marka Ragnos]

4 hours ago, VILLAMARV said:

Surely lying is a prerequisite to being a person on the party list, no?

Politics is the art of holding back the whole story, after all. To the extent that routinely crosses into mendacity, I think you could say that all politicians struggle not to lie. It just seems that Boris never bothered struggling . 

[Follyfoot]

I think he is a far better newspaper columnist than a politician or prime minister. The article is quite entertaining and informative.