Xela Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 If my gf went through my messages/emails/facebook or whatever then she'd be dumped on the spot. I have nothing to hide. But going through messages is bullshit. A like is not enough! I can't comprehend the lack of trust in some of your relationships? Instant dumping offence if I caught her going through my phone / email. Relationships are about trust... if she doesn't trust you enough to send a text without checking then you're better off without her. And vice versa of course. its not just women who are possessive like that, men can be just as bad. The thing is, I would have absolutely nothing to hide but it is the principle of the matter. Do you have joint bank accounts as well?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Do you have joint bank accounts as well?! maybe another topic , but i was staggered how many of my friends do .. to the point it sounds like the bloke earns the money , pays it into a joint account and the woman decides how much he can have as an allowance when he goes down the pub with his mates , on the occasions she actually lets him out Mrs H and I have our own accounts , she earns her money and does what she wants with it .. ditto myself , all be it mine has to take care of all the bills before I can spend it on drugs and hookers .. the idea of joint bank accounts just seems .. well a bit weird to me 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted August 13, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted August 13, 2014 My parents never had a bank account, but my dad always handed over his sealed wage packet to my mom, and she gave him his 'pocket money'. She did ALL the family budgeting. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 13, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted August 13, 2014 A joint account is fine, IMO. But I think you should pay money into it from your own accounts. You should still have your own money, whether you're the main bread earned or not 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCJonah Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Yeah me and my wife both have our individual accounts and both pay the same amount each month into a joint account to take care of all bills and stuff needed for the house. In terms of privacy i'd agree with Stevo, in that if there was no trust and my phone was being searched through I couldn't see the relationship lasting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CVByrne Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Getting caught by your bird going through your messages is a rookie error. You just need the right app that hides all those messages and only you know how to unlock them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted August 13, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted August 13, 2014 We initially had a joint bank account, but eventually we got separate ones as well. My wages went into the joint account, and my pension does now, while Mrs M's income goes into her own a/c, so the joint a/c is effectively mine (she never uses it anymore). I pay all the utility bills, insurance and council tax, she pays for the grocery shopping plus other household expenses out of her a/c. Seems to work OK for us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CVByrne Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I'm not married yet, but when I am at some point a joint account wouldn't work for me, can't have the missus spending all my winnings. Also couldn't sanction my money being spent by her without my consent. Joint account is the way forward for bills, food etc.. I also would never let the missus pay for dinner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davkaus Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I am single. No one cares enough to invade my privacy. Except for GCHQ. Love you GCHQ. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 separate bank accounts - but both with joint names and sigs to make it easy to get cash in a death sized disaster separate savings accounts - but in joint names All passwords to everything even flickr and the pin code for adult content on cable TV, written down in a book in the safe (oh, and we both know the combination!). Most of my kit, including phones, laptops and tablet are property of the office so nothing too naughty on any of it. They have the ability to know I'm on non-work related websites all day. As long as I bring in the work and send out the invoices they don't have a problem with it. She knows me well enough to know I'm on here all day and playing on twitter. She knows me well enough not to bother checking up on me. I spend a couple of nights away every week (every week for the last 10 years), I've been London all day today, Brum all day tomorrow and London again over the weekend If either of us were 'that' type where there was suspicion or checking up or cyber stalking each other it would have died a death years ago. We like very different nights out so generally she will walk down the hill to indulge in pub grub and I'll end up in a shitty little dive somewhere watching 'fairly obscure reggae bands', pretending I'm far harder and hipper than I really ever was. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CVByrne Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 separate bank accounts - but both with joint names and sigs to make it easy to get cash in a death sized disaster separate savings accounts - but in joint names All passwords to everything even flickr and the pin code for adult content on cable TV, written down in a book in the safe (oh, and we both know the combination!). Most of my kit, including phones, laptops and tablet are property of the office so nothing too naughty on any of it. They have the ability to know I'm on non-work related websites all day. As long as I bring in the work and send out the invoices they don't have a problem with it. She knows me well enough to know I'm on here all day and playing on twitter. She knows me well enough not to bother checking up on me. I spend a couple of nights away every week (every week for the last 10 years), I've been London all day today, Brum all day tomorrow and London again over the weekend If either of us were 'that' type where there was suspicion or checking up or cyber stalking each other it would have died a death years ago. We like very different nights out so generally she will walk down the hill to indulge in pub grub and I'll end up in a shitty little dive somewhere watching 'fairly obscure reggae bands', pretending I'm far harder and hipper than I really ever was. Do you do anything together? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 I can't comprehend the lack of trust in some of your relationships? Instant dumping offence if I caught her going through my phone / email. Do you have joint bank accounts as well?! Her friends are mostly quite, for want of a better word, square. My phone and internet traffic is much more interesting than hers. When she works the weekends, I'll head out, and more often that not, wake up Sunday on a sofa or in a bed miles from home with female company. Most of her mates would go schiz if their boyfriends/husbands did that. So yeah, I don't mind if she occasionally looks through my phone or Facebook. I don't play away, our relationship works - as much as they ever do We don't do joint bank accounts btw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Do you do anything together? It doesn't read very well does it! The joy of working long hours away is the random days off together without the kids. She's my best buddy. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Do you do anything together? It doesn't read very well does it! The joy of working long hours away is the random days off together without the kids. She's my best buddy. Some of our "friends" comment on mrs h and I a bit like this , usually behind our backs of course and a bit bitchy Thing is I make a rule of not getting drunk in front of the wife or kids , mrs h knows i enjoy a drink with my friends , she is of the opinion boys will be boys and need to let the hair down every now and them ... ergo we very rarely go out down the pub together, unless it's a party or what not ... Whilst my friends girlfriends and wives come out and then sit there looking miserable all night whilst their other half ignores them 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 Whilst my friends girlfriends and wives come out and then sit there looking miserable all night whilst their other half ignores them I think sometimes they grin and bare a couple of hours in the knowledge that their partners will accompany them home at the end of the evening. The alternative can be messy. Thing is I make a rule of not getting drunk in front of the wife... Do go on... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 (edited) Whilst my friends girlfriends and wives come out and then sit there looking miserable all night whilst their other half ignores themI think sometimes they grin and bare a couple of hours in the knowledge that their partners will accompany them home at the end of the evening. The alternative can be messy. Thing is I make a rule of not getting drunk in front of the wife...Do go on... Nothing sinister just for her sins she loves me and I don't want to shatter that by her seeing my trying to dance like diversity or shove tampons up my nose Edit: though saying that most of these incidences are freely available on Facebook anyway Edited August 13, 2014 by tonyh29 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 My parents never had a bank account, but my dad always handed over his sealed wage packet to my mom, and she gave him his 'pocket money'. She did ALL the family budgeting. This is what happens, I dont pay a single bill, my wages go in, I move all but my spotify subscription and my squash money and the rest is in a joint account that my wife pays the bills, puts into our saving account. I dont have a penny, but my expenses during the month really are spotify and squash. If we go out I just draw off the joint account. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 14, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted August 14, 2014 Does that mean if you ever got divorced she'd rinse you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 She absolutely would, but I would be living like a pimp shortly after as I am by far the main breadwinner, bitch be on the streets. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Individual bank accounts then you both put an agreed (equal) amount into a joint bank account that covers bills, food shopping etc. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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