What is your experience of mental health?

[Vive_La_Villa]

10 hours ago, Sam-AVFC said:

Well done for telling them, it's much easier said than done and most employers really will want to help.

Over half my life, starting as a kid, I've really struggled with mental health and suicidal thoughts and the entirety of me talking about it to anyone is a couple of posts on here. Is anyone else in a similar situation? I decided long ago I will never tell my family as I've heard them deride mental health issues for years and I don't see what I have to gain from them knowing. Similar to my friends. I feel like telling them the truth now will just make them feel guilty and I know it wont make me feel any better. Tbh for about 10 years of my life the only thing that kept me alive was guilt at the thought of putting my family through another personal tragedy.

I also ended up getting in a bad situation with payday loans a few years ago and was too afraid to tell anyone. It all started because I was afraid to ask my dad for about £500 an ex housemate screwed me on when we moved out as I knew it would just result in lots of tutting and the assumption I spent all my money getting pissed. The end result was I spent about £25k in interest over a few years and I only kept my head above water as I moved to higher paid jobs a few times when I was right on the edge. No one in my life has any idea about any of it. Again, I kept quiet as I heard so much judgement over the years about these morons using payday loans etc and I didn't want to ask for help when vulnerable just to be berated. I have nothing to gain from telling them about this either as again I just know they'd feel guilty.

I guess my point is for people to be conscious about how they judge other people in trouble as, with someone like me, who doesn't like to ask for help anyway you risk making them completely shut off. 

 

You should really get some help mate.  Make an appointment with your GP. It sounds like no way to live.

[Sam-AVFC]

1 hour ago, Vive_La_Villa said:

You should really get some help mate.  Make an appointment with your GP. It sounds like no way to live.

Thankfully I'm in a far, far better place now and have been for a couple of years.

Leaving London last year felt like another big step forwards for my state of mind. 

 

[Vive_La_Villa]

Just now, Sam-AVFC said:

Thankfully I'm in a far, far better place now and have been for a couple of years.

Leaving London last year felt like another big step forwards for my state of mind. 

 

That’s good to hear mate.

[leemond2008]

I try to moderate my drinking these days, the long standing VTers will remember that my drunkern ramblings used to a weekly thing, the talk of volleying some random bird in the jaw was standard chat.

I don't do that anymore, I only really drink on a Friday night, every now and again things just get to where they get to, and I **** hammer it, like tonight, I've been on the lager, I've been on the rum and now I'm thinking of either the sambucca or the red wine, I have prettey much been screaming out to all of my mates just for some contact, just for someone to kind of acknowledge me, I haven't had a single response, I don't blame them, it is 11pm, they are probably in bed with their partners after putting their kids down for the night.

One thing I will say, this is when living in a one bed flat working from home is **** crippling, I'm not a sociable person by nature but working from home gives me the reason to not go out at all, I can quite easily go 2 weeks without any face to face contact with anyone else.

it doesn't bother me, I can live alone and I can be happy alone, every now and again I will freak out on the drink like I have done tonight, I kind of feel like I needed someone to say "slowe  down" but I haven't had that.

just to put it into context, I would say in the next 3 weeks I will probably speak to 3 people face to face, working from home is still lockdown for me

I'm typing all this without actually thinking because thats probably the most honest way to do it but, even solitary creatures need help sometime

[leemond2008]

the only things that I have left to drink is a bottle of red or sambucca, I want to drink them both, and the frightening thing is that I could and no one would know....I'm gunna be good, I'm gunna call it a night, that's me done

[snowychap]

On 05/05/2021 at 00:39, Sam-AVFC said:

Well done for telling them, it's much easier said than done and most employers really will want to help.

Over half my life, starting as a kid, I've really struggled with mental health and suicidal thoughts and the entirety of me talking about it to anyone is a couple of posts on here. Is anyone else in a similar situation? I decided long ago I will never tell my family as I've heard them deride mental health issues for years and I don't see what I have to gain from them knowing. Similar to my friends. I feel like telling them the truth now will just make them feel guilty and I know it wont make me feel any better. Tbh for about 10 years of my life the only thing that kept me alive was guilt at the thought of putting my family through another personal tragedy.

I also ended up getting in a bad situation with payday loans a few years ago and was too afraid to tell anyone. It all started because I was afraid to ask my dad for about £500 an ex housemate screwed me on when we moved out as I knew it would just result in lots of tutting and the assumption I spent all my money getting pissed. The end result was I spent about £25k in interest over a few years and I only kept my head above water as I moved to higher paid jobs a few times when I was right on the edge. No one in my life has any idea about any of it. Again, I kept quiet as I heard so much judgement over the years about these morons using payday loans etc and I didn't want to ask for help when vulnerable just to be berated. I have nothing to gain from telling them about this either as again I just know they'd feel guilty.

I guess my point is for people to be conscious about how they judge other people in trouble as, with someone like me, who doesn't like to ask for help anyway you risk making them completely shut off. 

 

What kind of position are you in now? No judgement.

[Sam-AVFC]

9 minutes ago, snowychap said:

What kind of position are you in now? No judgement.

Pretty good to be honest, but I still have some issues to work through as we all do. I decided to take a few months between leaving London and jumping back into employment which gave me some valuable time to spend with far fewer worries. 

It did me a world of good after years of feeling the pressure to live up to what was expected of me by others. Paying off my debts also gave me some perspective about how ridiculous it is to try and 'keep up' when compared to so many people I've had amazing opportunities in life. 

I've been incredibly lucky to work in an area that's always looking for people and pays well. I dread to think what might have happened otherwise as having to go bankrupt would have cost me my professional accreditation and sent me into a spiral I'm not sure I'd have been able to escape from. 

[Vive_La_Villa]

23 minutes ago, leemond2008 said:

the only things that I have left to drink is a bottle of red or sambucca, I want to drink them both, and the frightening thing is that I could and no one would know....I'm gunna be good, I'm gunna call it a night, that's me done

It’s good you’re calling it a night. You’d regret it tomorrow otherwise. Whilst it’s never going to be the same as face to face contact we’re all here for you on VT man. Keep posting away!

[leemond2008]

And in response to my own posts last night, I've woke up feeling pretty damn good, sometimes a good session for me is like a hard reset, it kind of balances me out.

It's probably not the best way to go about things but it tends to work for me.

[Vive_La_Villa]

I’ve been off work and I’ve got an email with manager cc’d in because my CBT telling me to do it ASAP because it’s overdue!

The CBT is about mental health! 

I had to smile. Is that irony?

[maqroll]

In the US, Ketamine therapy is becoming more accessible. There are clinics open in small town Maine now. I really hope this is a silver bullet for people who are at their wit's end. I don't have "major depression" and because of my less severe symptoms I might not qualify for this, but it looks very promising. Hopefully they lower the cost and/or it gets covered by insurance. And that anyone can access it, even people who only feel down during the winter months, which is probably most people.

Quote

I Was Paralyzed By .Severe Depression. Then Came Ketamine

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/30/opinion/ketamine-treatment-depression.html

[maqroll]

Huge link lol

[Tayls]

22 minutes ago, maqroll said:

Huge link lol

Big news....

Edited May 30, 2021 by Tayls

[Rugeley Villa]

Some pretty hard times being had by people on here. Life can be very hard at times, and then it just kicks you when you’re already down. I hope you all pull through it one way or the other. I weaned off my anti depressants last year as I felt they weren’t working anymore and I didn’t need them. Glad I’m off them now, but they did the job. Still have the odd black spot, but that’s life.  
 

Mike mentioned about cleaning, and he’s right. Whenever I do the housework or the garden, it releases things in my head that put me in a good mood. Same with exercise. I might not want to do it, or even enjoy doing it at times but once it’s done, I feel good.  Motivation is a pretty big word though, and it can weigh a million tonne, well it feels that way anyway when you try and get the motivation to do something. 
 

my wife struggles at times with various issues. Not sure if I was posting on here at the time but she had a bit of a breakdown about two year ago. She had to go away for a couple of weeks to some place, and try and get herself better with the help of some professionals there. She’s heavily medicated for her mental health, fibromyalgia, and arthritis of the back, so it gets her down as you can imagine. Her weight also does not help. She’s only a 2-3 stone heavier than she wants to be, but it gets her down that she can’t lose weight. 
 

Life is very testing. Even when things are good there’s pressure. Good luck to all of you and god bless x

[jimmygreaves]

What are people's opinions on the use of hallucinogenic drugs like magic mushrooms to combat depression. Been reading some encouraging articles recently and it's making me wonder about trying it.

[mjmooney]

45 minutes ago, jimmygreaves said:

What are people's opinions on the use of hallucinogenic drugs like magic mushrooms to combat depression. Been reading some encouraging articles recently and it's making me wonder about trying it.

Good documentary on BBC recently - The Psychedelic Drug Trial. 

[Brumerican]

First time users should go for the "Heroic dose"  5g of dry powdered.

If you don't understand maths and geometry you will after that .

 

[Rugeley Villa]

Does anyone suffer with health anxiety? I’m having an episode today.

I worry myself sick, literally sick that my wife or kids are going to fall seriously  ill. What’s just normal life illnesses that are not serious, always make me think the worse. My wife hasn’t been too well the last few days, and although it only seems like a bug which the worst is over with , it’s got me really down. To top it off  she rang me today from Blackpool and said she thinks our youngest daughter may have Lyme disease. She got bitten by a tick last week and the area around the bite mark has gone red and rash like. She’s getting it checked out as we speak.  I know if you catch it early, there usually isn’t any problems, that’s if it’s even Lyme disease. My missus reckons I should get help, because it really is horrendous. It does my wife’s head in, but she also notices how much it effects me and she understands why I’m like this. 
 

Basically me and my gran were very close. She was always my favourite person in the world when I was a kid growing up.  I’ll always remember her coming home from hospital after she went to get some test results. She had been complaining of a bad back for months, so they did some tests. I was about 11 so didn’t understand anything serious could come from a bad back. Anyway I was meant to go the football that night with my mates. I was just about to leave when my gran walked through the door. I asked how she got on and she said I’m fine I’m fine, you get yourself off to the footy. I knew something weren’t right and I turned back around at the bottom of the road and told my mates I was giving it a miss. I crept back in and through the crack in the door I saw my gran and grandad crying in each other’s arms. I walked in and asked what was up. CANCER!!!  
 

I feel selfish saying this but my life was never the same after that night. I won’t go through all the ups and downs that followed , but she ended up beating that then being diagnosed with leukaemia which eventually killed her. We were all kind of relieved when my gran died. We were so happy that she had found peace and wasn’t in pain anymore. It had been a long battle. I’ve accepted her death, probably even got over it, but one thing I haven’t been able to get over is her diagnosis and years of watching her being ill .  It’s scarred me massively and to this day can make me so low and filled with anxiety that really ruins my days. There’s moments in my head that I’ll never forget . The turning off of the life support funnily enough isn’t one of them. It wasn’t nice, but it was the right thing to do. The looking through the crack in the door watching them cry is so vivid .There's one or two other things too, but, yes it plays heavily on my mental health . It hasn’t helped that my wife and kids are away for the night. I miss them and I miss the noise. Sorry for going on, but I thought I’d share this just to get it off my chest . I’ve spoke to my wife not long ago which made me feel better, but health anxiety cripples me. Just something which is probably so trivial, is a big deal in my head. I’m forever thinking the worse and looking up stuff which you shouldn’t do. 
 

I know there’s a VTer who is suffering with cancer on here, so I’m so sorry if I’ve come across inconsiderate. I wish you well Jim . 

[choffer]

Does someone want to help me out and tell me that you do get over losing your mum?
I could never have imagined how hard it would hit.

I like to think I’m normally a pretty resilient type but three weeks in and I’m not sure I’ll ever get past the overwhelming grief. 

[AvfcRigo82]

3 hours ago, choffer said:

Does someone want to help me out and tell me that you do get over losing your mum?
I could never have imagined how hard it would hit.

I like to think I’m normally a pretty resilient type but three weeks in and I’m not sure I’ll ever get past the overwhelming grief. 

Hey Choffer, Sorry to learn of your loss.

I lost my mother back in 2015 about 3 weeks before Christmas, It was a very tough time to deal with after she had passed away.

I accept that we all grieve in different ways for different lengths of time. However, there is no time limit to these things either mate but it does get easier eventually, even if we don't see and feel it at the time.

It took me atleast a good part of a year to eventually come to terms with it (having only lost my father the year before) but the pain does heal in little stages.

There will be moments of really sad days that will pop up randomly as the years go on but the happy memories you have of her will last a lifetime. Hang in there pal.