maqroll Posted February 24, 2021 Share Posted February 24, 2021 On 20/02/2021 at 17:37, Jimzk5 said: Thank you all for your messages of support. It's taken me a 2 months to come to terms with it, from denial to acceptance In short 6 months ago I went for an mri scan to look for a cause of my essential tremor, a week after I recieved another mri request under dye contrast when they inject you with a dye to show up changes, so I knew they had found something then, but I didnt hear anything until December when they sent me for another mri scan, after that my neurologist that sent me for the scans phoned me and said they found something, and the time between scans was to check for changes and didnt want to worry me by telling me 3 months ago hey weve found something, but were not seeing you for another 3 months So my last scan was December and appointment with neurologist confirmed it, luckily the changes between scans showed it was small and slow growing, due to the location I hadnt had any symptoms (head aches, vision issues) so I'm extremely lucky to have an essential tremor, if I didnt have that they wouldn't have been a need for an MRI scan in the first place My prognosis is good as its been found early. I'm very lucky It's just been an incredibly draining time, last January I was in intensive care with pneumonia and could have died, I lost my job, tried to commit suicide not long after, led to the end of my marriage and then to hear this, was just ****, so depressing. I've held it together the last few months but finally feal ready to tell people outside my immediate family, and VT is part of my family. Wishing you the best. Sounds like you are being well looked after. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A'Villan Posted February 24, 2021 Share Posted February 24, 2021 Emodied processing Make the changes necessary https://fb.watch/3SkHGO52tl/ 4 minute video Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peckham Wanderer Posted February 27, 2021 Share Posted February 27, 2021 You know you're depressed when you couldn't be bothered watching the match... 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post NurembergVillan Posted February 27, 2021 Moderator Popular Post Share Posted February 27, 2021 @Jimzk5 I've known you on here for 15 years now, so it's hard hearing what you've been through in the last 12 months. You know VT well enough now to know that you've got a group of guys who are all here for you, whatever you need and whenever you need it. You're not on your own with this. 6 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 The last 12 months have been a surreal doomscape. I chucked my antidepressants for good over the summer. No regrets. I stopped drinking in November. Easy peasy. But I do lean on my CBD/THC capsules to blunt the misery. It helps. But it makes me lazy as sh*t, which triggers self loathing. Argh. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted March 2, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted March 2, 2021 6 hours ago, maqroll said: The last 12 months have been a surreal doomscape. I chucked my antidepressants for good over the summer. No regrets. I stopped drinking in November. Easy peasy. But I do lean on my CBD/THC capsules to blunt the misery. It helps. But it makes me lazy as sh*t, which triggers self loathing. Argh. There's a lot worse than being lazy. Go easy on yourself, it's been a tough year for many (I just read @Dom_Wren's latest post). 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 On 27/02/2021 at 18:55, Peckham Wanderer said: You know you're depressed when you couldn't be bothered watching the match... It's the best team we have had in yonks yet I reckon I have slept through about 6 games this season due to apathy pal. I only found out we beat Leeds the day after the game Just all seems irrelevant in the grand scheme of things but a little break can reinvigorate . You ain't alone mate. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 We lost 5 of them though so every cloud... 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wilko154 Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 (edited) Haven't ventured in here for a while so just catching up; really sorry to hear about your news @Jimzk5 I've been ill for the last two months, although scans have come back clear and now I'm starting to feel better. But I understand how scary it can be and the thoughts that can go through your head whilst worrying. Luckily they have caught it early, and it's good news that the prognosis is positive. I have no doubt you'll beat it. Keep us updated and wishing you the best fella. Edited March 4, 2021 by wilko154 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted March 13, 2021 Share Posted March 13, 2021 This looks very promising. Quote This week sees the opening of the first UK high-street clinic offering psychedelic-assisted therapy. Could popping psilocybin be the future of mental healthcare? https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/mar/13/it-blew-my-mind-can-psychedelic-drugs-cure-addiction-depression 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post choffer Posted March 15, 2021 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted March 15, 2021 I don't really share much on VT - I'm normally just here for ice rinks and fish perversions but I found out this weekend that my mum has terminal cancer. We're waiting on the details but there's no expectation of anything other than the worst result and it's expected to be fairly quick. I've been completely blind-sided by it and I've not been able to stop my face leaking for the last two days. I feel like a bit of a wimp as I want to be strong for my parents and my brother and sister but I just can't hold it together for more than a few minutes at a time. 22 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Designer1 Posted March 15, 2021 VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted March 15, 2021 1 minute ago, choffer said: I don't really share much on VT - I'm normally just here for ice rinks and fish perversions but I found out this weekend that my mum has terminal cancer. We're waiting on the details but there's no expectation of anything other than the worst result and it's expected to be fairly quick. I've been completely blind-sided by it and I've not been able to stop my face leaking for the last two days. I feel like a bit of a wimp as I want to be strong for my parents and my brother and sister but I just can't hold it together for more than a few minutes at a time. That's absolutely terrible news mate, really feel for you. There is also no shame whatsoever in your reaction. 7 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lapal_fan Posted March 15, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted March 15, 2021 19 minutes ago, choffer said: I don't really share much on VT - I'm normally just here for ice rinks and fish perversions but I found out this weekend that my mum has terminal cancer. We're waiting on the details but there's no expectation of anything other than the worst result and it's expected to be fairly quick. I've been completely blind-sided by it and I've not been able to stop my face leaking for the last two days. I feel like a bit of a wimp as I want to be strong for my parents and my brother and sister but I just can't hold it together for more than a few minutes at a time. It's just about the worst thing that anyone can go through. Nothing wrong with crying, it's a strength to show emotion, not a weakness. Wishing you and your family nothing but the strongest strength. Be there for each other and leave no stone unturned when it comes to expressing yourself to your mom. Best wishes x 8 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markavfc40 Posted March 15, 2021 Share Posted March 15, 2021 27 minutes ago, choffer said: I don't really share much on VT - I'm normally just here for ice rinks and fish perversions but I found out this weekend that my mum has terminal cancer. We're waiting on the details but there's no expectation of anything other than the worst result and it's expected to be fairly quick. I've been completely blind-sided by it and I've not been able to stop my face leaking for the last two days. I feel like a bit of a wimp as I want to be strong for my parents and my brother and sister but I just can't hold it together for more than a few minutes at a time. Don't feel any shame in this. I'd argue letting it out is being just as strong as not. I lost my dad nearly 19 years ago aged 60 after a short, brutal battle with cancer (found out in June he had it and he died in the August). The day we found out he had cancer I broke down and from that day decided I would be strong for the rest of my family and bottled my emotions up. I see that as a huge mistake now as even now almost 19 years after he died I still don't feel I have grieved properly as I had a stupid feeling if I broke down and let it all out I may not be able to stop and something in my head has stopped me crossing a line and letting my emotions out. My advice would be do as you are doing and let out your emotions as and when you feel you need to. Don't bottle them up. Take care mate and I hope things go as well as they can for your mom. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post TRO Posted March 16, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted March 16, 2021 On 20/02/2021 at 22:37, Jimzk5 said: Thank you all for your messages of support. It's taken me a 2 months to come to terms with it, from denial to acceptance In short 6 months ago I went for an mri scan to look for a cause of my essential tremor, a week after I recieved another mri request under dye contrast when they inject you with a dye to show up changes, so I knew they had found something then, but I didnt hear anything until December when they sent me for another mri scan, after that my neurologist that sent me for the scans phoned me and said they found something, and the time between scans was to check for changes and didnt want to worry me by telling me 3 months ago hey weve found something, but were not seeing you for another 3 months So my last scan was December and appointment with neurologist confirmed it, luckily the changes between scans showed it was small and slow growing, due to the location I hadnt had any symptoms (head aches, vision issues) so I'm extremely lucky to have an essential tremor, if I didnt have that they wouldn't have been a need for an MRI scan in the first place My prognosis is good as its been found early. I'm very lucky It's just been an incredibly draining time, last January I was in intensive care with pneumonia and could have died, I lost my job, tried to commit suicide not long after, led to the end of my marriage and then to hear this, was just ****, so depressing. I've held it together the last few months but finally feal ready to tell people outside my immediate family, and VT is part of my family. So, so sorry to hear your story Jim.....I was diagnosed with Prostrate Cancer, c 18 months ago and I am hopefully on the mend.....just a routine check, with no symptoms....The news devasted me as I had just lost a villa supporting mate to the condition. I sense, you are a fighter Jim, bounce back, The world is a wondeful place.....you will be ok. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peckham Wanderer Posted March 20, 2021 Share Posted March 20, 2021 We've been told we'll be in a hard lockdown till at least June (we've been doing this since before Xmas). I'm not sure I'll cope. Live on my own & WFH, hardly see anyone. Struggle with depression already 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted March 20, 2021 Share Posted March 20, 2021 3 hours ago, Peckham Wanderer said: We've been told we'll be in a hard lockdown till at least June (we've been doing this since before Xmas). I'm not sure I'll cope. Live on my own & WFH, hardly see anyone. Struggle with depression already Keep in there mate. I'm very similar to you - live alone, been WFH for 12 months (my first day WFH last year was the Gold Cup day so just celebrated my 12 month WFH anniversary) and barely see anyone. Luckily for me, I don't think I suffer with depression, or not to a degree that impacts me. The only people I speak to face to face are my parents. I go over to theirs every fortnight for a cup of coffee and a natter. Its a god send really that they are part of my 'support bubble'. I also like the drive out there - its about a 90 mile round trip. Without that i'd really struggle. I have zoom calls with colleagues and friends but its not the same is it? I'm still using last years holiday entitlement at work. I've got to use it or I lose it, so i'm just taking days off and then spending that day in bed. There is light at the end of the tunnel though mate and I find this forum a ray of sunshine in getting through it. We will get through this 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted March 20, 2021 Share Posted March 20, 2021 3 hours ago, Peckham Wanderer said: We've been told we'll be in a hard lockdown till at least June (we've been doing this since before Xmas). I'm not sure I'll cope. Live on my own & WFH, hardly see anyone. Struggle with depression already Sorry to read that matey. Where are you? I know it’s a cliche but I’m hoping the spring summer sun helps make things feel better. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted March 20, 2021 VT Supporter Share Posted March 20, 2021 On 15/03/2021 at 09:19, choffer said: I don't really share much on VT - I'm normally just here for ice rinks and fish perversions but I found out this weekend that my mum has terminal cancer. We're waiting on the details but there's no expectation of anything other than the worst result and it's expected to be fairly quick. I've been completely blind-sided by it and I've not been able to stop my face leaking for the last two days. I feel like a bit of a wimp as I want to be strong for my parents and my brother and sister but I just can't hold it together for more than a few minutes at a time. No shame in that reaction mate. As someone whose Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and Dad was diagnosed with Bowel cancer within a month of each other I know how it feels. My mom pulled through and beat it and unfortunately my dad's was terminal. So I know the full range of emotions and totally understand how it can completely blindside you and how hard it is to hold it together. It's ok to be emotional 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peckham Wanderer Posted March 21, 2021 Share Posted March 21, 2021 3 hours ago, Genie said: Sorry to read that matey. Where are you? I know it’s a cliche but I’m hoping the spring summer sun helps make things feel better. Dundalk, Ireland. Limited to only 5k travel from home Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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