ME Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 It's not a daily thing. It comes and goes. There are many times when it never even crosses my mind on what people think about me. Then you hear something or see someone else being judged and I start to wonder. Not worry, just....wonder. I grew up a tomboy. Most of my friends being guys I always worry what the new lady in their life will think. Because ultimately if she has a problem with me, I risk losing the friend. I am currently in the process of losing my closest guy friend (that isn't my husband). So trust me, this happens plenty. But I normally just like who I am and figure you either will to, or you won't. Not much I can do. Oh, and for some reason groups of rich people. They make me anxious. Like they can smell the poor on me. It sounds dumb. One or two wealthy people and I could NOT care less. But when I have gone to upper scale charity events and the room is filled with the wealthy folk, I do feel like I'm being judged. I don't need them to like me so much as I just want to leave. Oh that's what it was , I just assumed it was Rob I smell pretty! Just in a " oh good my shower gel and body spray is on sale" sort of way Actually, the more expensive a perfume, the more allergic I seem to be to it. Can't be around it. (poor people skin ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 It's not a daily thing. It comes and goes. There are many times when it never even crosses my mind on what people think about me. Then you hear something or see someone else being judged and I start to wonder. Not worry, just....wonder. I grew up a tomboy. Most of my friends being guys I always worry what the new lady in their life will think. Because ultimately if she has a problem with me, I risk losing the friend. I am currently in the process of losing my closest guy friend (that isn't my husband). So trust me, this happens plenty. But I normally just like who I am and figure you either will to, or you won't. Not much I can do. Oh, and for some reason groups of rich people. They make me anxious. Like they can smell the poor on me. It sounds dumb. One or two wealthy people and I could NOT care less. But when I have gone to upper scale charity events and the room is filled with the wealthy folk, I do feel like I'm being judged. I don't need them to like me so much as I just want to leave. Oh that's what it was , I just assumed it was Rob ME smells like Rob? Paging Brumerican........... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ME Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 It's not a daily thing. It comes and goes. There are many times when it never even crosses my mind on what people think about me. Then you hear something or see someone else being judged and I start to wonder. Not worry, just....wonder. I grew up a tomboy. Most of my friends being guys I always worry what the new lady in their life will think. Because ultimately if she has a problem with me, I risk losing the friend. I am currently in the process of losing my closest guy friend (that isn't my husband). So trust me, this happens plenty. But I normally just like who I am and figure you either will to, or you won't. Not much I can do. Oh, and for some reason groups of rich people. They make me anxious. Like they can smell the poor on me. It sounds dumb. One or two wealthy people and I could NOT care less. But when I have gone to upper scale charity events and the room is filled with the wealthy folk, I do feel like I'm being judged. I don't need them to like me so much as I just want to leave. Oh that's what it was , I just assumed it was Rob ME smells like Rob? Paging Brumerican........... *laughing* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted November 1, 2013 Moderator Share Posted November 1, 2013 There are 2 questions being answered here.PatrickCousens has answered one of them perfectly. We literally do care what people think, especially in a societal context. That is the literal definition of the 'ego'. The self. The identity. In order to function as members of society and even humanity we have to care to the extent that we fit in. If we don't care at that basic level then we are probably sociopaths/psychopaths.The other question is the less literal one of simply being a self-conscious person from day to day.And similar to Stefan I have to say that by my nature I probably am and it has often been an annoying barrier and trait. Although I think it's one of those things that goes away as you get older and become more comfortable in your own skin. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MakemineVanilla Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 People taking SSRIs are always an interesting study because they inhabit some vague narcissistic mindset where they are so indifferent to what others think that they actually lose all empathy for those around them. You don't notice normal rules of interaction until someone ceases to follow them. Autistic people are also a revelation. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LondonLax Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 There are 2 questions being answered here. PatrickCousens has answered one of them perfectly. We literally do care what people think, especially in a societal context. That is the literal definition of the 'ego'. The self. The identity. In order to function as members of society and even humanity we have to care to the extent that we fit in. If we don't care at that basic level then we are probably sociopaths/psychopaths. The other question is the less literal one of simply being a self-conscious person from day to day. And similar to Stefan I have to say that by my nature I probably am and it has often been an annoying barrier and trait. Although I think it's one of those things that goes away as you get older and become more comfortable in your own skin. Yes exactly, everyone who has a sense of self, by extension, cares what other people think about them. We are social animals, we all fit social norms because we don't want to be ostracized from the social group. Some people care more about the small details than others but only a true psychopath lives wholly outside the views of society. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted November 1, 2013 Moderator Share Posted November 1, 2013 ME smells like Rob? Paging Brumerican........... *laughing* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE! So ME knows she doesn't smell like Rob, ergo she knows what Rob smells like. Paging Brumerican ............. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 There are 2 questions being answered here. PatrickCousens has answered one of them perfectly. We literally do care what people think, especially in a societal context. That is the literal definition of the 'ego'. The self. The identity. In order to function as members of society and even humanity we have to care to the extent that we fit in. If we don't care at that basic level then we are probably sociopaths/psychopaths. The other question is the less literal one of simply being a self-conscious person from day to day. And similar to Stefan I have to say that by my nature I probably am and it has often been an annoying barrier and trait. Although I think it's one of those things that goes away as you get older and become more comfortable in your own skin. Yes exactly, everyone who has a sense of self, by extension, cares what other people think about them. We are social animals, we all fit social norms because we don't want to be ostracized from the social group. Some people care more about the small details than others but only a true psychopath lives wholly outside the views of society. I agree with this, but when referring to other people do you mean people we actually know, or random people in society we don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 I try and be as friendly and respectful as I can to people I meet but i'm not bothered if they don't like me. I've got a great family and circle of friends so I can cope. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 I try and be as friendly and respectful as I can to people I meet but i'm not bothered if they don't like me. I've got a great family and circle of friends so I can cope. Same with me,all you can do as a human being is treat people properly and condcuct yourself in a respectable manner. If people still don't like you then so be it. You still have family and friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morpheus Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 But can you be really sure that people like or don't like you? Either way sometimes it can be impossible to tell. That's why the euphemism 'two faced' exists. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coda Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 But can you be really sure that people like or don't like you? Either way sometimes it can be impossible to tell. That's why the euphemism 'two faced' exists. At work if someone likes or dislikes me that's fine. It's the rare words removed who appear to be your friend when in reality they're snide grasses that you have to watch. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 I love you all, and I know you love me too. You bunch of words removed. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ME Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 ME smells like Rob? Paging Brumerican........... *laughing* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE! So ME knows she doesn't smell like Rob, ergo she knows what Rob smells like. Paging Brumerican ............. I've hugged the man. ......he smells like soap. I know you'd think beer or shame but nope, he smells pretty, I assume it's Karens doing. Or maybe whatever he uses to keep that hair so flowy. Brumerican spends way more time with him than I do You'd all know if you'd show to a Villa meet up once in a while!!! *hint* *hint* 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted November 2, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted November 2, 2013 (edited) Anybody who says they don't care what people think of them has either: ( a ) a monstrous ego or ( b ) no ego at all Applies to very few of us, if we're honest. When I first met my missus a bunch of us were talking about what we fancied in the opposite sex, and she said: "I like people who like me. Not much point otherwise". [1] Simple, obvious, but actually quite profound. [1] (Yes, it was a feed line for me to say: "Well I like you..." ) Edited November 2, 2013 by mjmooney 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MakemineVanilla Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 Anybody who says they don't care what people think of them has either: ( a ) a monstrous ego or ( b ) no ego at all Applies to very few of us, if we're honest. When I first met my missus a bunch of us were talking about what we fancied in the opposite sex, and she said: "I like people who like me. Not much point otherwise". Simple, obvious, but actually quite profound. Although stalkers can be very annoying. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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