Mandy Lifeboats

4 hours ago, Follyfoot said:

My Mrs is from Wednesfield 

We are probably related.  Most people in Wednesfield are.  

This is starting to feel like a competition.  But I must tell this story.  

I grew up in a place called Wednesfield in the Black Country.   This included a massive area of industrial wasteland called "Bowman's Harbour".  As a kid it was like a massive but dangerous adventure playground.  There were acres of ruined building,  abandoned factories, piles of industrial rubbish etc.  

Part of the site has been redeveloped but the majority remains fenced off to this day.  That's because its contains >> 

• Dangerous levels of methane gas. 
• Massive amounts of barely buried asbestos. 
• Radioactive waste that was buried  there before it was realised just how dangerous is was.    
• But the cherry on the cake has to be...............it was an abandoned Smallpox hospital.  

People who talk about "the good old days" are talking utter rubbish.    There's no better time to be alive than the present, even with COVID.  

You don't see paper boys in my area any more. 

When we lived in Selly Oak, barely a month went by without Mrs Lifeboats running over a spotty faced youth who thought that a luminous paper satchel made them invincible. 

Now-a-days you can't run over a child without getting into trouble with the law. It's political correctness gone mad.  

Traffic accidents are character building. 

3 hours ago, Genie said:

Is this real?

 Its clearly a photo taken during COVID and there is an ample supply of toilet paper.

Wow.......amazing.  

25 minutes ago, Genie said:

Why don’t the poor African countries export solar generated electricity to make a few quid?

 

 

They would be exporting to neighbouring countries who have the same resource.  To export further they would need to pay countries in between to transmit that electricity.  That is both expensive and complicated.  Its a bit like saying why doesn't UK export rain water to Africa?

When I moved to my current home,  I mentioned to a workmate that there was no red light district.  

"Why look for professionals when there are so many keen amateurs?" was his witty reply. 

Magnetic sofa cushions for better forts.  

2 minutes ago, useless said:

What are you meant to do with marbles? Maybe just roll one and then roll another to try and hit it.

We would draw a chalk circle on the path and all place equal numbers of marbles inside the circle.  We took it in turns to fire other marbles into the circle.  You got to keep any marbles you knocked out of the circle.  

How the school holidays would fly by. 

On 02/02/2021 at 12:12, Mandy Lifeboats said:

 

I am sitting in my office with the heating on full and all the windows open. I have the winter breeze on my face but the office is so warm that I am sitting here happily in my shirt sleeves.  I have my feet up on a footstool and I am sipping a nice Vanilla Latte.   Birds are feeding happily on the bird feeders which I place in the old tree that’s directly outside the window.  I have the delightful sound of the sparrows  squabbling over the food and the occasional chirp of a robin.  But the most satisfying sound is one of the cleaners banging on the lift door because she has been stuck in there for over an hour.   I hate that woman.     

 

The cleaner has heard through the grapevine that I found her predicament amusing.  Relations are frostier than ever. 

 In a very unfortunate coincidence** my phone was playing  “Love In An Elevator” when she came to clean my office today.  

** I defy anyone to prove otherwise.  

Surely the correct answer is whichever one you grab first that seems near enough.  

You are not a real man until you have a large box of mixed screws that are remnants from various other projects. 

"They might come in handy one day"

Rosa Parkes and Martin Luther King?

2 minutes ago, maqroll said:

As a backdrop, yes. But an actual moment within the war eludes me. 

The last helicopter out of Saigon?

8 hours ago, mjmooney said:

That amused me. THIS what I call retro gaming: 

Poppycock.  They aren't even using wooden 12 inch rulers.  New-fangled high-tech games like this cause teens to become violent.  

14 hours ago, chrisp65 said:

Is the Shakin’ Stevens one in your avatar not yours?

 

That’s not Shakey.  That’s Sue Perkins.  

My niece told the teacher that I was a satanist and she wanted to be one too. 

She meant Atheist. 

I put that in to see if anyone would notice. 
 

it’s not true by the way. 
 

The bat wasn’t fresh at all. 

I didn't post at the time. 

Things I have crossed off my list in the last decade are: 

Flown along the Grand Canyon

Gambled in Las Vegas

Visited Disney World

Visited Egypt

Eaten fresh bat soup in Wuhan

Visited Pompeii and Herculaneum 

Been to an NFL game in the US

Stayed in a city view suite at the Shard

Seen a Space Shuttle Launch

Here's a blast from the past.  

Who posted their list on here and which ones have you ticked off.  

The Russians have an updated one.  

Its hard to translate but its about killing a defected spy and his family using only a single Novichok coated door handle.  

Don’t just go for the highest offer.  Finding a buyer who isn’t in a chain can we worth thousands in time and stress avoided. 

Carthage = The City State. 

Carthaginia = The area conquered, controlled or governed by Carthage.   

8 minutes ago, rjw63 said:

 

b) it's freezy-bollocks.

 

Fire on.  Glass of whisky with ice and an open book on the coffee table?