Mandy Lifeboats

I wonder whether the policy to reduce foreign travel is being influenced by the boost it will give the UK economy when people take holidays in the UK?

You can see why the British and the French needed to put a stop to the villainous hun's empire building.  

If anyone wants nightmares watch “The Singing Ringing Tree”.  Truly one of the scariest children’s TV shows ever. 

Cummings said that Hancock should have been sacked for lying.  

Are there enough glaziers to repair all those damaged windows in the Barnard's Castle Glasshouse?

10 minutes ago, Xela said:

Mechanical watches are an art form. I'd always hankered after a 'proper' watch... a sub or gmt or speedmaster, 

I have a Speedmaster from 1970.  If it was good enough for Buzz Aldrin to wear on the moon, its good enough for me.  

I love having a "real" wristwatch that doesn't operate with a battery or quartz.    In a modern wristwatch its knows the time because its told by a satellite or the battery makes the quartz vibrate.  My watches work with springs, levers and cogs.  The metal workings change as the heat changes.  The mechanism even changes are I hold my arm in different positions.  Yet that mechanism still keeps pretty good time.   Skilful people have spent hours putting together tiny mechanisms to an exacting standard.   I have a watch that is as old as me and it still tells the time to a very good standard.  It will probably outlast me.       

The best things come to those who wait. 

Plant an acorn. 

7 hours ago, bickster said:

How does one convert to Islam if one can't read the small print in the contract prior to signing up?

The rule only applies to text in the original language.   (Arabic?)

English language translations may be handled by all.   A Muslim friend gave me a copy once.  With a wry smile he told me to put it in my hand luggage when going on holiday.  
 

1 hour ago, chrisp65 said:

 

You don’t have to swear on the bible or any other religious text in court if you don’t want to.

 

Correct.  Its only an option.  But why is it even an option?  If I was religious I could solemnly swear to tell the truth without needing to name my god or hold a certain book.  

Funny Story >>

At the start of my career we were taken to a Crown Court and shown the entire Court process from behind the scenes.  I got there a little early and was having a look around.  I noticed the Quran which was wrapped in a cloth cover.  I took it out and had a good look at it.  

Later that day we were being shown the various holy books and the trainer asked why the Quran was in a cloth cover.  To my horror he informed us that non-Muslims are not allowed to touch the Quran itself and if they do the book has to be disposed of.    

I confessed.    

17 hours ago, StefanAVFC said:

Decode this one without using translate...

Hitler's plan to turn Poland into the LGBT flag? 

Last night I was watching a porn movie when the wife suddenly burst into the lounge.  

What a way to discover she'd been in a porn movie.  

1 hour ago, ender4 said:

Having new skirting boards fitted.   I was planning to paint them with gloss before fitting for ease. 

The skirting boards have been delivered but are already painted white (possibly with undercoat?).  They look good. 

Do i still need to paint them with gloss, or will the current white paint on them be ok?

 

I would consider 2 things. 

1. What looks best?

2. How easy are they to wipe down if they get a mark or just generally dirty. Gloss is very easy to clean.  

Dinner, Dinner, Dinner, Dinner.  

I did the count for my Local Authority today.  I don't normally bother because I like my bed too much. Something happened relevant to a question @chrisp65asked me earlier in the thread.  

Contrary to popular belief your vote is not automatically disregarded if you don't use a "x" to mark your selection.  However, your intention must be clear.  One ballot paper had 4 candidates marked with a "NO"  and the remaining candidate was left blank.  It was probably @bickster vote. He always does something to annoy me.  My first opinion was that it was unclear and therefore would be spoilt. But a desperate candidate needing 1 vote to win could argue the point.  

I must inform the candidates of the matter.  Which I did.  But rather than declare it spoilt,  I told the candidates I needed to think about it.  Whilst I was thinking about it  I happened to look up the the running totals. There was an obvious winner.  

I called everyone back together and announced it would be spoilt.  The candidates knew what I had done and accepted the decision.  But had the count been close I would have undoubtedly decided to pass the decision to the Returning Officer.  

It's a good example of a pragmatic solution being used in the absence of a hard and fast rulebook which covers every scenario. 

PS - please mark your votes with a clear "x".  If you don't people like me have to actually earn our money.  

6 hours ago, sidcow said:

They are the same.

In the Harry Potter Movies they only put Nearly Headless Nick in, but if you read the actual books he's mainly accompanied by his sidekick Broiling Bowels Brian who was not considered "Hollywood" enough to get into the movies.

He got a bum deal in my opinion.

In 30 years time which one of the Hogwarts Teachers will be accused of being a paedo?

My money is on Horace Slughorn.

 He invites schoolboys to parties in his chambers and teaches them how to make ""love potions" with his "magic wand".

15 minutes ago, chrisp65 said:

I’m not really expecting you to have the answer here, it’s just that you might be the only person that can vouch that there is even a rule book. So I sort of linked it.

But what would be the result of a candidate being missed off the ballot paper. But not just a candidate, the incumbent. Up in north Wales they appear to think they’ve got around the problem by telling people they could write her name in, down the bottom.

Apparently her name was also missing from some postal ballot forms.

She’s loathsome, and I can’t imagine she’d have won again. The fact nobody appears to have noticed she was missing from the postal ballot suggests there wasn’t exactly a tsunami of support. But that’s got to be a re run for that seat, hasn’t it?

 

 

I can give you an answer but not one that's definitive.  

Anything could happen during the polling process and you cannot have a rule to cover every eventuality.  In this circumstances an emergency print of ballot papers would be obtained to replace the incorrect ballots.  Until they arrived I would advise people of the error and ask them to annotate the ballot paper with the relevant name/party if they wished to vote for them.  

As to what would happen.........it depends how many people were impacted and for how long.    This is then considered against the margin of victory. 

If a candidate felt the result was unfair a court could order a re run.  But in most seats the problem is unlikely to be large enough and last long enough to really change the result.  

Presiding Officers keep figures on the number of votes for every hour of the day.  So if the ballot papers were wrong for the first 4 hours of the day I could say exactly how many people got the wrong paper.  If that was 150 and the losing candidate lost by 301 its unlikely anything would be done.  

People who died from beheading apparently produce headless ghosts.  They seem to be a relatively common ghost.  

People who died from having a red hot poker shoved up their a-hole don’t seem to follow the same ghostly rules.  

Are there 2 different unions?  

The ballot paper numbers are on the back and its surprising easy to take a photo of someone carrying a folded ballot with the number visible.  One thing I know from experience is that the Police react quickly if called to a Polling Station complaint.  Today they attended my sleepy, backwater location twice without even being called. 

3 minutes ago, snowychap said:

Isn't he breaking the law?

Unlikely.    Its discouraged and I would advise against it.  If you disclose how another votes or publicise the reference numbers on the ballot you could be in trouble.  

I have a glass of whisky in my hand and have no intention of reopening the handbook to look up the official answer.  But I would advise against any photography inside the polling station.  You might inadvertently commit an offence and not realise. 

I have just deposited the ballot box at the count.  Today consisted of 60 minutes of basic admin and 3 minutes of exerting authority packed into a 17 hour day.  All to produce a result which hasn't changed significantly in living memory. 

Our democracy is wonderful but its ridiculously expensive.  

First disgruntled voter of the day.  I woke briefly and leapt into action.  He believed he had the right to vote here despite not living in the area.   It gave me 10 minutes release from tedium. 

The room we are using is a well furnished village hall.  I have my own armchair and footstool!  

Biscuits and gifts have not maintained their early levels. 

It's a hard life.