Mandy Lifeboats

7 minutes ago, chrisp65 said:

 

Disappointing lack of tits, chuffs, and shags.

If she is surrounded by tits she is a SHA season ticket holder. 

19 minutes ago, KentVillan said:

You think he'll get off war crimes on a loophole?

I don't think he's getting done for war crimes, because I don't think he's getting arrested. But if he does somehow get arrested and tried for war crimes, he's 100% guilty. Saying he was on the toilet reading a book while an old lady in Bucha got raped isn't really going to fly as an alibi.

No. Its not a loophole.  During the Nuremberg trials a lot of effort went into proving that those in charge knew what was happening and in some way consented to it. Although these crimes are terrible you need to show that its an official policy or instruction. I don't think Putin is stupid enough.  

I am not sure why people are calling for Putin to be convicted for war crimes?   I doubt he's been stupid enough to put anything in writing telling his army to conduct war crimes. He has overall responsibility but that's not enough.  

My prediction is thus - 

The soldiers guilty of those crimes will soon be conveniently killed in action.  This will prevent them testifying that the chain of command ordered or tolerated their actions. 

If pressured, Russia will investigate the matter and conclude that a group of foreign fighters, local militia and a few Russian soldiers committed the atrocities.  But they are all dead now. 

15 hours ago, Phil Silvers said:

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

If they are parrots, she is a pirate. 

If they are vultures, she is a zombie. 

If they are storks, she is very fertile. 

If they are caged canaries, she is a coal miner.  

If they are emus, she is the president of the Rod Hull Fan Club.  

Foreign Language.  
Train-spotting. 

Comedy.

Jo Jo Rabbit.    What a film!  Funny, tragic, set in WW2 and with an soundtrack that's German versions of classic pops songs. 

This is Spinal Tap.  This is the first mockumentary I can recall.  I hope I die by choking on vomit that's not my own.  

Knight & Day.  I cannot believe that I am including.  Its a guilty pleasure.  Its all action nonsense. Tom Cruises portrays  an overly friendly and overly confident hero and does it perfectly. 

Action.

JAWS.  Just an all time classic.  

Skyfall.  I am not a big fan of Bond.  This was the first Bond Movie that I thought was an excellent film as opposed to an excellent Bond film.  The plot has more holes than the foundations at St Andrews.  But its action.  

The Dark Knight.  Heath Ledger's performance must be one of the greatest of all time.  

Mild Horror. 

Aliens.  I jumped out of my skin when I first saw this. It's even got a character called Spunkmeyer and no-one mentions it.  

Silence Of The Lambs.  Its amazing how we can be scared by what we don't see and events the characters recount.  If you like the film I recommend reading the book.  It's got some major differences. 

Nosferatu 1922.  This film is 100 years old!  It' was groundbreaking in its time and is still worth a watch.  

2 hours ago, sidcow said:

So apparently footballers and celebrities to be banned from gambling adverts. 

Robbie Savage is not impacted by this change.  

4 hours ago, PussEKatt said:

It is the second month of autumn here and the weather forcasters have been predicting storms for the last 2 weeks,all we have had is 2 brief showers,for a total of about 6 minutes total.So, my question is.How is it that we hear predictions about global warming when they cant even tell if its going to rain tomorrow 

Global warming is the increase in average temperatures. Those average temperatures have been increasing steadily for decades.  

The 2020s will be the decade with the highest average temperatures ever recorded. 

But inthe short term, tomorrow could be hot, cold, wet or dry.  

The Ukrainian helicopter attack on a Belgorod Oil depot is an amazing event.  Russia cannot even establish air supremacy over their own country let alone Ukraine. If Ukraine continues to attack Russia on their own turf it will tie up massive amounts of Russian forces to defend their infrastructure.  

I doubt these helicopters were "stealth" equipped.  If they can invade Russian airspace the USA must be fairly confident that the F22 deployed on the NATO/Ukraine border are causing a massive headache for the defence of Russian airspace.  

What’s the difference between a pound and a ruble. 
 

100p. 
 

——This special operation barely humorous remark was conducted by the Villatalk Glorious Political Satire Brigade ——

If its Welsh it's "Wisgi". 

If the UK was in a similar position to Ukraine (invaded by Russia and not protected my Nato) what would happen?  Let's assume we don't use nuclear weapons.  

I am sure that our military would give a damn good account of themselves.  

But would the general public flock to the cause?  How many foreign nationals would fight for us?  Would people seek refuge in Ireland and/or France?  How much of the UK would we be willing to lose?  Would we leave the Falklands and Gibraltar unprotected?  Which celebrities would grab a rifle? Who would shell St Andrews first?  

46 minutes ago, Awol said:

Edit: abrupt bordering rude- sorry. 
 

I disagree and haven’t suggested Ukraine is losing, heavily or otherwise. They are walking a fine line and collapse could occur suddenly and without warning, but for now they’re resisting in pretty spectacular fashion. If that is to continue they will need luck, and a lot more support from the countries sheltering behind them in Europe. 

Sorry @Awol  My post was badly worded. 

"Thank god someone can see the true position" relates to your opinions in your post.  Your post is spot on.  Ukraine are resisting spectacularly but they could collapse. 

"Ukraine are losing this war......." This is my opinion. Ukraine is holding its own but is utilising every single resource they have.  But their ability to wage a long term conventional war is diminishing.  They are winning the battle but losing the war. 

They can win this war conventionally.   But that would require Nato to arm them with very different weapons. 

2 hours ago, Awol said:

Ukraine is still losing kit and manpower daily, from a lower base than Russian forces, whose strategic culture accepts incredible loses as the cost of doing business - at least in the short term before the true numbers become widely known at home.

I think we all want the Ukrainians to win without going through a full occupation and insurgency, but they need to have a good day everyday and the role of chance in war suggests they won’t. The situation in the east where the majority of both armies are fighting is fluid and Ukraine is numerically overmatched. Things could easily go wrong very quickly.

Thank god someone else can see the true position. Ukraine are losing this war and losing it heavily.  Russia have simply changed tactics.  They are now putting their troops in defensive positions and using airpower to take out strategic targets. 

Russia has lost troops and military equipment. They haven't lost any factories, bridges, hospitals, ports,  power stations or airports. 

Ukraine will win in the long run. But it might take a decade!  Russia simply does not have the military power to occupy a country the size of Ukraine, face off Nato deployments which surround them on all sides and deal with other conflicts that are bound to arise.  

The US Secret Service has an agent stationed at the nearest hospital to the President's current location wherever he is in the world.  

The US Secret Service has an agent permanently near the President who is trained in "10 minute medicine".  Their skill is to keep the president's dead body in a revivable state for 10 minutes. This is the maximum time the Secret Service feels it would take to control of any situation, move the president to safety and start conventional medical care.  

A US Secret Service agent accompanying the president carries 3 pints of the president's own blood. 

It was behaviour like this which caused him to be sent to Bel-Air in the first place. 

Tomorrow Vince McMahon will announce a new match for Sunday’s Wrestlemania.  

Considering Will Smith played Ali, I was disappointed by his footwork.  

His acceptance speech was even more bizarre.  All the talk about the choices God has made for him and the responsibility he has for "his people".  

It came across as someone who had lost it. 

2 hours ago, sidcow said:

  I assume to say LOOK AT MY SUPER EXPENSIVE WATCH which is fine.

I know someone who is exactly like that.  The hilarious thing is that he knows nothing about watches. 

Once he turned up with a monstrosity he'd got from  a shopping channel.  It was made by someone like  "Lunge & Rulex of Switzerland" who have been producing luxury watches of the highest standard for only £500 by "cutting out the middle man".  It was a watch you can order from China for about £30 with an maker's name printed on the face. 

I was wearing a 1970s watch which I picked up for £400 a few years earlier. 

My watchtold the time to a reasonable accuracy but was a little slow. It told me the date as long as I remembered to amend it if the month didn't have 31 days.  I had to wind it manually.  

His watch told his the time on Mars, his height above sea level and when it was dark it produced a light bright enough to keep ships off the rocks.  

One of us was wearing a watch worth £500.  The other didn't realise what a sucker he'd been. 

Luxury watches explained - Part 2.  
 

The Dacia car will cost me a few thousand quid.  I will use it for 5 years and it’s going to be worth very little.  
 

The DB5 will cost me a lot more.  But after 5 years of use it will still be worth a significant sum.   It might even be worth more than I paid for it 5 years ago. 

Luxury Watches explained.

The local Dacia car dealer sells cars.  Their cars are much better than a 1960s Aston Martin DB5.  Dacia cars are faster, more reliable, safer and have a much higher spec.  Why the hell would anyone pay a fortune to own a DB5?  They haven’t even got a digital clock in the dashboard.  
 

Ownership is also about how something makes you feel.  

11 hours ago, mjmooney said:

Does anybody really know what time it is? 

M.C. Hammer?

There is no way these will hold their value over the long term.  They are a battery quartz movement which has a relatively short lifespan.  The serious Swatch collectors will already have their unopened watches safely stored away.  I predict a short term spike followed by a long and steady decline. 

The only exception could be this -

The watches are not for sale in Omega Boutiques. But they are displaying them in a solar system themed display case. That will be rare enough to become a fantastic collectors item.