Mandy Lifeboats

5 minutes ago, Gary Thomas said:

He didn't and it wasn't a loan.

Finding out it wasn't a failed medical (as quoted by the BBC) just makes me despise him even more.

Scunthorpe.

I don't understand why a failed medical would necessarily stop a loan deal. Surely Rangers/Villa could renegotiate the terms on a "pay per play" basis.

Anything to get rid of this loser. 

22 hours ago, Xela said:

 

Do women really know how to operate machinery as technically advanced as a shovel?

I use a simple system called the balanced scorecard. 

Define several criteria you want to measure. For instance the simplest criteria would be customers served and items sold. 

Then produce league tables for each of those criteria. The overally rating being your average position in each of those league tables. 

You may even decide that those criteria need to be based on average values such as customers served per hour worked. 

This system tends to reward people who have a balanced approach. 

If one criteria is deemed to be exceptionally important simply give it a weighting factor when calculating the balanced score card. 

I have found this works well. People who are regularly at the bottom of all criteria stand out like a sore thumb and are "encouraged" to improve performance. But it also prevents people chasing after one performance measure whilst ignoring all the others. 

In footballing terms, it allows you to compare a defender, midfielder and striker even though they contribute in different ways to a team goal (pun intended).

If Leeds take him I am not sure whether to send them a "Thank You" card or one saying "Thinking of you at this sad time". 

1 hour ago, Dr_Pangloss said:

promotion has to be the aim of the game, anything less than that is a poor return and we'd have to at least consider the position of the manager.

That's repeating another mistakes of the past.  If we sack this manager we aren't going to attract anyone better. We'd also need to pay him off and several members of his staff. 

We need to rebuild. But we also need to rebuild by making good choices at every stage rather than throwing money at it.

I can't see us pushing for promotion this season.

We need to be realistic and not repeat mistakes of the past. We don't want to attract decent players if we have to pay silly money. Nor do we want to bring in 30+ age players thinking only of the short term.

I'll be happy if we get rid of 2 or 3 of deadwood in the coming weeks and sign a striker. In an ideal world we'd get rid of Richards, Lescott, Flabby, and a half a dozen others. But that's just not going to happen. 

Our probable first team is relatively young and of reasonable quality for a lower quality league. Some of the deadwood will still be with us and will have to play a part. 

I intend to enjoy this season. We will not be a laughing stock and we will win games. I will also give the entirely new owner/management team a season to turn around YEARS of poor judgement and bad signings.

So far they have done an OK job. OK not brilliant. But I'm happy with OK for this season.  

I removed them from my Christmas Card List and have also resolved to veto any future application they might make to join my Gentlemen's Club. 

 As you can see, they have already paid a high price for their downright shoddy behaviour.

Grealish said he learnt a lot from Wilkins..............

We have to turn mobile phones off whilst on planes as the signals can interfere with plane's equipment. 

If this was true why would they allow them in the cabin at all? Why don't they check they are safe mode rather than just asking you?

I can't take a can of Pepsi through security in case it's liquid explosive but I regularly taken 2 phones which supposedly are a danger if I press the on button.

What's the real reason? 

I note vegetarianism is a doorway to demonic possession but slaughter of animals is not. 

So when I sacrificed a goat last night, the GOAT was in the wrong. 

Worry not. Our Foreign Secretary will sort these rascals out. 

This might be my last post on this site for a while. I shall be busy digging a bunker in my garden and lining it with lead. 

Two men are sitting on a park bench watching the children play on the playground. 

"That's my little girl on the swings in the pink dress, which one is yours?"

"I'm not sure. I haven't chosen yet." 

A tumbleweed enters - stage left. 

21 hours ago, Demitri_C said:

I'm thinking in investing in gatwick airport parking spot. 10 years you have made your money back then it's profit for life

Be very careful. I am sure there are some legitimate schemes but there are far more scams.

The most common scam is that you buy the land (Land Registry deed included). You get a guanteed income for a few years. But after that the money dries up. All you own is a small bit of land purchased at a high price. Even worse you don't have any right of way over the land around the space. Therefore you can't even get there and might be charged for access. 

If it does not generate income you decide to sell on. If it's a scam are you likely to find many people willing to buy it?

Think of it like this. I sell you a small piece of my back garden for £10,000 and guarantee you £2000 per year rent for 2 years. After that 2 years you have a small piece of my garden that you cannot access, cannot use and can't sell. I'll offer to buy it back from you for £4000. I'm still £2000 up on the deal and haven't done a damn thing. 

But here is the kicker - I haven't broken any laws. 

I'd like to see him stay with Villa, obtain UK citizenship, lead Villa to promotion with a perfect record, celebrate his first England Cap by scoring a hat-trick at Wembley, become England Captain,  end all those years of hurt by lifting the World Cup in what will become known as "The Bacuna Final", become PM and persuade USA to rejoin the UK and apologise for all that unnecessary revolution shenanigans that happened. 

But I think he might have bigger aspirations. 

10 minutes ago, villakram said:

There were no WMDs and this was very well known at the time... you shameful apologist.

War criminals the lot of them.

That's an interesting standpoint and not one that's shared in the report. It states that the existence of WMD was exaggerated and based upon intelligence sources that were given more credibility than they turned out to  deserve. 

Please don't insult me personally by calling me a "shameful apologist".  

Firstly, I have not apologised for anything.  I thought his decision to invade was wrong at the time. I also think it's wrong in hindsight.  

Secondly, I feel no shame in presenting a balanced argument.

3 minutes ago, Jon said:

I see you have a bit of time on your hands now Dave.  Or is that you Tony? 

My legal advisor Cherie has advised me not to answer that question. 

I have had the "pleasure" of working with many MPs from all parties. Whilst some are in it for their own gains, most work exceptionally hard and shoulder huge responsibility. They are often in a no-win situations and Iraq was one of those situations. A single WMD against Israel might have lead to a much worse consequences than what actually happened.  We now know it was not going to happen. But that's the benefit of hindsight. 

Whatever your opinion of MPs, in my experience they agonise long and hard about these decisions. Sometimes they get the big decisions wrong. But the vast majority of their decisions are made knowing that the press will ruin them for the few decisions that backfire whilst ignoring the good they do.

1938.

Germany holds referendums that determine foreign policy. 

That turned out OK in the long run......didn't it?

6 minutes ago, JoeParker91 said:

You do realise he had a lengthy ankle injury last season?

No. Thanks for posting this. 

8 PL starts for a team who shipped 67 goals. 

Guzan: I would keep as I think he can be a decent keeper if he regains confidence and has a stable defence to work with. But I think Brad needs a fresh start and will leave. No great loss. Good luck.

Losercott: We are stuck with him. Hopefully we can agree a pay-off. I'd play him if he's the best option. But we'll be in a dire position of he's in contention.

Richards: I don't see him being with us at the end of the transfer window. He'll be picked up by a bottom 10 Premership team.

Gabby: If he turns up for training looking like a Greek God AND he takes a pay cut he would be worth keeping. If not, I can't see anyone taking him off our hands. 

Bacuna: I have never seen why people rate him. He's a handy utility player to have on the bench but shouldn't be anywhere near the first team. Hopefully he'll be signed up by Barcelona as a big name signing. Or maybe Hull as a handy utility player to have on the bench. 

Randy Lerner was driving along the motorway and suddenly pulls over to the side of the road, jumps out of the car and bursts into tears. 

By an amazing coincidence a coach of Villa fans sees this happen and stops to see what's going on. 

"I'm ruined" wails Randy. "My wife left me and took half my money. I had to sell my father's business,  I ruined the Cleveland Browns and lost a load of money. Then I did the same with the Villa. I'm a laughing stock and haven'the got a cent to my name. I was going to drive to a secluded spot and end it all by pouring petrol over myself and setting myself alight. But I can't even do that right. I'm out of petrol."

The Villa fans generously held a whip round for Randy to help him out. Do you know how much they raised?

27 litres of unleaded.