chrisp65

it's better than just talking shit all the time like we have to in mixed company

First time drunk, aged 15, in a proper old style boozer with my dad and his factory working mates. They thought it was hysterically funny that a stick thin 15 year old with acne and attitude would try and match them pint for pint. I think I stayed the pace for roughly an hour and then redecorated the toilets for the landlord, free of charge. Later that evening one of the factory guys fell in the urinal trough and we all gave him the full Rugeley treatment. I was Ill in bed for half the next day with my dad making me fried eggs for lunch which had the exact effect he'd hoped for. Second time drunk would have been very shortly afterwards and was a ridiculous situation aged about 16 where I was a regular attendee at breaker parties where essentially you brought along cans of Breaker lager and paracetemol. Oh we thought we were really clever. Some of us very quickly moved on to adulthood, others never really passed that stage and just went booze, glue, aerosol, anything. But we were happy back then, life was simpler.

If somebody feels it's all a bit one sided and doesn't want to be spending money on such presents but their partner does, then I suggest a bit more time making sure you are genuinely a good match might be a good idea. That's not aimed at any specific individual, that's yer genuine free advice to the world of mens. Other advice would include: Yes, do be careful not to piss all over the floor, but don't concern yourself with the position of the loo seat, if it's clean and dry it don't matter. Yes, sometimes compromise is necessary. But if you really really want to do that thing and she really really doesn't, well you may have to move on rather than sulk for the next 35 years. Yes, sometimes a quick one up against the hallway wall can be a great and loving gesture. No, everybody else is not getting rude videos done in the woods, that's just a porn site con trick. Learn to use the iron, the oven and the washing machine, she is not your new mum, you don't want to be shagging your new mum.

watched The Hobbit earlier this evening that's two and a half days of my life I'll never get back

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj6y6tohW_0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVdfiP8R2oI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUXnZQNgx7s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DccDYoJwSQ

fair play to that Mark Reckless tory defector, that's one comedy voice he's thrown out there

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ii62Hh7JBjU

yep, as soon as he asks others to 'think of his family' that is the code for having been caught with his cock out

I took a bizarre comedy smack to the back of the head earlier that put me down on my backside and utterly dazed for a minute. It was a new take on the Tom and Jerry garden rake sketch. I somehow stood back on a garden hoe (no, not a common or garden prostitute) whilst stooping to pick something up. The result was a smack to the back of the head from a steel rake handle that sent me flying (knocked my glasses a few feet off my head) and I headbutted the door frame of the shed. Comedy gold I'm sure. But I have a headache and stiff neck now. I can see no way I can cook tea or even make a cup of coffee for the rest of the evening.

I used to think that until he revealed his love of old war movies. yes, and a very good documentary on Germany clearly a decent second career being lined up once the landlord character has run its course

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6T9qp9XbRY

to be fair to the police it's not a quick process they need at least 3 months notification from the media that he'll be out of the country before they can organise a surprise undercover raid

dye it a comedy colour

typing with left hand ftw

oi, watch it, you'll have someone's eye out with that...

quietly confident that a bit of bombing will do the trick once and for all home for Christmas boys, home for Christmas

And what schemes did labour introduce to help first time buyers? I wouldn't have a clue - is it the scheme that caused the international finance crisis that closed Lehmans and Greece and caused a european recession by any chance?

agree entirely if they hadn't given mortgages to people in New Mexico that patently couldn't pay then subbed out the debt to people that didn't understand what they were buying then ponzied the market for a few years, we'd be fine bloody labour thank god the current lot have sorted it out not just recalibrated a few bits n bobs to suit self interest anybody want some help buying an expensive new house?

Agree with all the above. Plus it's already too late to give him the elbow and get the electable Alan Johnson in place. Now we are in the position of needing the LibDem's to have a mini resurgency. Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, well done Labour.

They can't, kids have to stay in education until they're 18 now According to the government website they can actually leave school in June of the year they are 15, providing they'd be 16 by the time the next school year starts, i.e. somebody with a birthday in July can leave school aged 15. Elsewhere on the same site, people under 18 can work up to 40 hours. Govt employment website says at 16 you have to be in paid work, self employed, an apprentice, in training or in education or a mix of these. What you can't be is an old school doley (neets). At age 16, they have to be paid through PAYE and officially enrolled on the staff payroll if they earn over £111 per week. They must do 'some' part time education or training (which can be on the job CDP), up until their 17th birthday. That's how the army can recruit 16 year olds, a parental consent and a bit of on the job training with a certificate at the end of it and you're in. So you could, in a very tenuous theoretical life, be a married member of the army, with a kid, doing 30mph up the High Street on your scooter, on the PAYE payroll - but not considered old enough or mature enough to vote in the local council elections. I appreciate there aren't many in that demographic.

Overall, I've become a little disillusioned with George Galloway. I suspect he may not be the visionary saviour of us all, but is actually little more than a self publicist that loves the sound of his own voice. Henceforth I shall view him and his polysyllabic, hyperbolic, music hall peacock utterances simply as infotainment.

Joseph Bazalgette