chrisp65

Don't let them hold your medal too soon, make them wait a bit. That would be my advice.

Have you tried freezing and then super heating your head? Sometimes the temperature difference can cause the object to dislodge. Failing that, you need a pliant member of staff to suck on your ear. Someone you think would really be a able to get a proper suction vacuum going. You must surely have already given this some thought. I know I've got a short list - but not if I'm in the Redditch office, if something happens whilst I'm in the Redditch office well, I'll just drive home half deaf.

i-ear aids

These things can be very depressing. It feels like you are an extra in an out-take from the film Cocoon, the band will looked shagged and the audience will look worse. Although, I suspect Mick Fleetwood will look exactly the same. The combination of the walking-dead and rip-off prices, just makes for a poor experience, especially if you are that far from the stage, you need to look at a monitor to see what's going on, because everyone has got their ******* phone out. If a gig needs big screens just wait for the DVD and save yourself £100. I went to see INXS at the NEC a long while back. Awful awful awful awful awful awful experience from top to bottom. Just shit in every metric of deciding if something is shit. Similar feelings towards a Brian May (Ford 'driven' ambassador era) 'gig' I was forced to endure. The only thing dividing the two gigs and putting INXS absolute last is that at least at the Brian May gig I'd had the good sense to be pissed before it started.

Let me guess, he was in Big Skids.

I went to a quiz on Friday night to raise some money for the local scouts / guides / community hut. All good fun and in the raffle in the interval the first prize was won by a group of three kids. They trotted off to the prize table, selected a big box of Quality Street and were making their way back to their seats. The guy on the mic organising the evening announced in surprise: 'that's amazing they chose the sweets over the ipads!' The look on those kids faces was soooo funny. They took some reassuring by parents that there were no ipads.

that's reminded me to give him a listen - people are keen on staying out and staying up...

I'd say Mooney bagged the points. The only two playable moves as a way back were either to ignore it and pretend you didn't see it, or give it a like. Coming back with similar doesn't cut it unless it's utterly killer.

happy married types smashing it, just not as vocal as the damned heathen scum

I don't think VT has a 'pop chart' demographic. The very fact I had to correct that line from my original 'top of the pops demographic' suggests there is no point in me trying to identify the acts on that video.

My dad loved Queen back in the day. He saw himself as a bit of an old school rocker, it hit him quite hard for a while when it turned out the lead singer of a big rock band could have facial hair and a leather jacket - but then possibly not be 100% hetro. Quite funny now that he was so literal. It was '76 - '77 - '78 that sort of period when me and the old man grew apart a bit. He loved all that old school rock shit, I got into what was new (Stranglers, Jam etc..). The whole point of my stuff was to take the piss out of the old overblown stuff. He would genuinely get upset by 'scruffs that can't play instruments singing songs about rubbish'. Whereas I was amazed somebody could like distant super groups singing 15 minute noodly bollox about fairy fights. Anyway, he's fine now, he's listening to a little bit of jazz and blues when he listens to anything - so I'm taking it that I won.

show not getting a second series when you're too crap and crass for ITV 2 you need to have a look at yourself #moist

It's really bad, but yes, the petrol money the hours in a car, the cost of the tickets with 'that' style of clueless football on offer make it a bit of a stay away for me. This season could potentially be the first in 20 or so years where I don't go to a single game. Lerner's new era has seen me go from 'needing' a season ticket to probably not bothering to turn up to a single game. £40 / £50 on petrol £55 / £60 on a couple of tickets, another £25 / £30 for some parking, a programme and food for two of us and all of a sudden that very dull football (surrounded by people clearly not enjoying themselves) looks like an expensive waste of 9 hours of my life and £130 / £140. I've spent that in the past and I'm no financially worse off now than then, but the crap on offer whilst surrounded by people moaning about the crap on offer has tipped the scales. It's actually got to the point where twice this year I've been shopping in the bullring on a match day. Which must mean it ain't the time and it ain't the petrol money. For that, I blame the whole current set up, from the Premier League, the owner, the manager, the players that earn tens of thousands a week and can't pass a **** ball.

I'm such a snob I deliberately picked my 1920's house in part because it had some original Art Deco styling, including a gorgeous stylised lighthouse stained glass front entrance door.

I have formally issued my definitive christmas prezzie wish list via the usual communication channels. This is approximately a month earlier than usual. Now, if I want to buy some music, tee shirts or sex toys in the next 6 weeks, I have to go 'off list'. I didn't fully think this through.

don't worry, that's as bad as it gets Spring begins in Poland, as the tourism slogan goes. I'd imagine somewhere around late November, early December the weather will begin to improve with short sleeves and lunch in the park being perfectly 'de rigeur' by around mid January. It's no coincidence that the original name for Bermuda Shorts was in fact Lech Walesa Pants.

As a complete amateur on Beach Boys / Brian Wilson, is the LSD thing why he appears to be so, 'slow' when he's in anything currently? Essentially, is he drug fried, or does he have an unrelated ailment, or have I just judged a thoroughly sorted and stable human very harshly?

There was an interesting article in the 'paper yesterday about One Direction and their new album. It essentially said that OD have a new album but the launch has been quite subdued as they don't really make much money from record sales. They just need new material to begin the move into an older age bracket of fans, the typical arc undertaken by boy bands of being truly awful and cheesey but then somehow, over time, appearing to have matured and having a job for life on the more mature blockbuster tour circuit (a la Take That model). The article mentioned that they had decided that they would limit their UK publicity to 2 or 3 things, including making sure they were available for the Band Aid 30 thing. Other than that, they were off to conquer South America and Asia. I thought that was a fascinating little glimpse into the mindset of big music. But hey, if it makes a pound for charity that otherwise wouldn't have been delivered by any other means, best of luck to 'em all.

I think it came from the suicide statistics when Alan Green did a full 45 minutes.

Spent last night writing out a list of CD's I want for crimble. Along with an explanatory note that I don't want a download, I don't want a voucher for i-tunes and the CD's I've named cost substantially less in an actual shop than on amazon.

Fig rolls are called Fig Newtons in America and there is some controversy about who invented them. There is a M*A*S*H episode where Sherman T. Potter claims that there is nothing better than a Fig Newton dipped in Scotch. aaaargh! finished off the end of a packet of fig rolls yesterday, then 30 minutes later had a glass of Isle of Jura I coulda done that, it sounds like a little bit of heaven.

So how are all these promises from Westminster panning out?

Perhaps many in 'the west' are too hung up with material crap when trying to assess whether they are well off. What happens when a society strikes gold (or oil or whatever) and leaps out of third world strictures? Do they immediately empathise with others and try to drag up their neighbours? Or do they try and emulate the west and buy as much shit as possible, as fast as possible then get their photo taken to show they are happy. It's so shallow it's scary. I was with a couple of Chinese guys about a week ago and they were doing very well for themselves, when you think of the life they'd have had back in the 60's or 70's, their life today is incomparable. But they were utterly focused on acquiring stuff. They had magazines with them that weren't magazines in the sense I'd become used to, they were basically catalogues, a picture of a Chinese celebrity followed by 4 or 5 pages of describing where they got their shoes, the watch, what makeup they wore in the photo, the car they were taken to the photo shoot in. Now, it's great for China that there is some more freedom of movement and it's great they don't have universal poverty as a means of equality. But buying as much shit as possible as quickly as possible isn't really sustainable. So there is a double whammy. Not only are we selfish, but we need to persuade people poorer than us in Malaysia, India, Pakistan, China, Mexico etc., NOT to be consumers, not to burn coal and not to all buy cars and phones. It's going to get tougher, this co-existence. All I can say is, if I lived in Syria or Bangladesh, Albania or Mali, I'd be trying to get my family over here. Once over here, I'd want them to have what the others have. We need to aim for less material shit and a bit more inner peace, man.

Ah come on... ok, I've just discovered you can watch this gif and it's close enough to get weird when listening to Johnny Cash, Personal Jesus. It syncs up quite well.

the r'n'b thing tricks me into listening 5 seconds too long every time