chrisp65

I have been quite sweary the last couple of days. I think being off work has sent me a bit feral.

well that's one **** christmas **** card stamp I've **** saved for next **** year

well that's plain **** wrong

then move to the coast it's freekin' awesome, if a little breezy at times

well all the plumbers are over here so count yourself lucky it's electric find the fuse box, pull out the offending plug and replace the missing fuse wire with a paper clip alternatively, if you don't want to die in a house fire, wait until the morning and find the correct amp fuse wire in a hardware store or phone the landlord

Yes it does, that's what knowledge is. Understanding is something else. And intelligence is something else again. I couldn't decide if it was a trap..

Celebrity Mastermind? Dumbed down. They claimed not a couple of nights ago - but when I can score 8's n 9's, it's dumbed down.

I'm smashing it on Mastermind tonight. I've scored points in two consecutive rounds.

The 'problem' for Andrew is that he did previously have a friendship with Jeffrey Epstein, and that guy subsequently became a convicted sex offender. It's absolutely no proof of anything, but it does suggest a more robust answer might be required beyond 'we refute the accusation'.

it's just a taste thing isn't it I don't particularly care for it, though I think I'd know a good number of the characters names. I can see how lots of people could think it's eye and ear burningly bad. I can also see how people fail to get the appeal of a pot bellied racist troll driving around in a selection of sports cars tossing out superlatives in a mid atlantic drawl week in week out with absolutely no change to the script in years. My personal 'hate' is old fashioned sit coms, the Khan's and Brown's of this world. My parents think they're the best things on telly. But at the end of the day, it's all only telly. Music, now that's a much more serious subject.

Tesco setting up their Valentine's Day displays today. Have a **** day off you money grabbing clearing in the woods stars.

yeah, but it's still Bwitain that's most crowded

Could you sort out that mixtape before your head is completely ****. I'd hate to think you start putting anything I'd heard of in there.

she wasn't resurrected, they spent a couple of minutes trying to resurrect her then pronounced her clinically dead and then somehow her heart started again without any medical aid, im not even sure if thats possible my missus was crying, i had to leave the room because my laughter wasnt appreciated Are you thinking of resuscitation? I think she was the Eastenders Christmas story, but they got confused and chucked in a bit of Eastermas too. Off on a tangent - I'll have to dig out the proper reference, but there was a lecture on the radio a couple of months ago that included the story of an Austrian girl that fell under the ice on a frozen lake. She was under the water for something like 30 minutes, it was an hour before an ambulance / rescue team arrived and she was pronounced dead. But because of the extreme temperature they decided to take her to hospital - a journey of an hour or so. So 3 hours after she drowned and 2 hours after being declared dead she's in hospital and has absolutely no signs of life. They decide to very very slowly warm her up. Long story chopped very very short, after a day of no readings they put her on artificial lung and heart machines, brain still clinically dead. Put some sort of warming probe in her head and over a week she began to breath on her own. After about a month she woke up but without use of limbs, 6 months later, completely restored as though it never happened. longest anybody has ever been 'dead' and come back. It was told a lot better by the guy giving the lecture on the radio.

the trick is to go back 9 months and like all your own posts a Christmas holiday well spent in my opinion

I think Miranda is very much 'female' comedy in as much as any comedy can be male or female. I took my missus and her friends to see it filmed at the old BBC Centre and the queue to get in was 90% female. Apparently it was awesome, lots of downtime between filming scenes, lots of re shoots due to giggling mid scene. Apparently all with Miranda keeping the audience spell bound between takes with endless funnies that kept everyone laughing for a about 3 hours to film a single episode. They absolutely loved it. I had three hours in central London at an exclusive sex dungeon (ok, the Imperial War Museum).

generic post pandering to VT's vaguely sexist lefty footballish slightly obscure reggae mindset...

so everyone's agreed, 0:0

5p for the train ride from the island - but you had to pay when you got off because they had a proper station the other end which meant with the old slam doors, you could jump off the train where it slowed on the bend into the station and spend your 5p in the school tuck shop we were banned from using trains after a few months of this and had to walk across the docks to get to school

Yeah its sometimes watched but we don't really have any 'must see' TV in our house. If it's on when we sit down to veg out it would be watched because it's on the default BBC so it gets watched where Corrie or Emmerdale never ever would. But last night was brilliant. Brilliant in that so bad it's good kind of way. A woman was hit by a car, proper up in the air over the top of the car hit - and people asked if she was ok and took her to the pub. A pregnant woman got married, had a car crash, got rescued from a fire, died and was resurrected. What's not to like! The baddie wears a black hat and a full length black leather coat. The wedding was disrupted by an argument over money that had Phil Mitchell giving it the full 'shut it you slaaag' school of acting. Even though he's physically shrunk and got visibly older in recent years. The token black family have a mystery pregnancy, a guy with a stroke that might be getting beaten up and a washed up drunk woman. Just brilliantly bad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-ij_iTQt2w

Abu Bakr al Baghdadi Benjamin Netanyahu Khaled Meshaal Vlad Putin George Bush (snr. not dubya)

When the one woman in Eastenders hadn't been responding to the medics for 10 minutes so they stopped resus and called it, then her sister whispered in her ear that she had a lovely baby boy who was a fighter, just like her - and she came back to life. Brilliant. Although apparently, bursting out laughing and shouting 'YES!' can be interpreted as disruptive cynicism.

Happy New Year. Rest Assured VT, I am actually now able to fully expose myself. I am Mr Randolph Lerner and I'm here on VT secret millionaire stylee. I have been following all your comments, your hopes, your fears and customer feedback data and I've been secretly taking stock of what all my followers and fans actually think. Fear not, this information is like gold dust and I am making copious notes and will act swiftly and decisively. There will be a public statement at some point during 2015 (or soon thereafter). Incidentally, what does the V stand for in VT? Thanks RL

I went for a walk up the allotment, in the drizzle, and watched my onions for 30 minutes.