chrisp65

Me and my missus have recently experimented. I accompanied her on one of her nights out. She came along to a gig with me and my gig buddies. We've both agreed to do it again, in around about 10 or 15 years time. She's more than welcome to check / use my phone, she knows the pin code and it's always left laying around the house, the kids use it to vote on TV shows. My murder and sex phone never leaves the secure box in the Merc..

With hotels, I've got to a point now that if there's a Novotel nearby, I just book that without shopping around, be it for work or hols or an afternoon delight. They're always clean, rooms are a decent size, surroundings are never noisy, just everything is perfectly efficient and acceptable. Move off the main grid and in to towns that only have 'independents' and it quickly becomes crazy lucky dip time. I'm looking at you, Woodbridge, Suffolk.

One of the Directors of the company asking me (ME!!! I'm not a bloody cad monkey!) if I can get an A0 sized colour print out of our large format printer. 'No, it only does black n white' to which his response was. 'I only want one' to which my response was 'ahh ok, it should be able to do just one colour print even though it's a black n white printer' to which he has responded 'great, thanks' ok, perhaps you had to be there...

I believe true friends are the one's that respond with 'you alright hun?' when you write something cryptically negative on your status / wall / tweet / app / snap. Using this criteria I've established my real friends are: My other account I use to get my likes up. My mum's pervy friend from the bingo. Stan Collymore Ocado

yep, I've done you a credit note.

yeah, just like last time, you must think I'm stupid 'oooh, Chris, I've got secret new pop n crisps, call round' wake up 36 hours later in a Premier Inn car park, commando with a tenner shoved in my socks

well just to show they're clearly not just a pair of weirdo's The executive lunch of the discerning M25 Cobham services gent: beef madras, daal, pilau, naan and a Pepsi Max from the Mint Leaf Takeaway.

who's J-pop? a mediocre female rapper with a double jointed pneumatic arse, no doubt.

I'd happily pay 27p a week to be moving on beyond having kings and queens and princes and fairy godmothers. It's a bit silly really. I mean I like a spangly hat as much as the next person, but come on.

I don't think those two things are Labour's fault. I think the fact that they are the only two choices and that there isn't a decent third choice or third voice is Labour's fault. We've ended up with an obsessed tory party given a free run to spout all it's euro prejudices. There should be a Labour party able to put forward a good strong case as to why europe is good (or bad) for the everyday 'honest hard working' family folk of the UK. Either to fight for us in getting the right things negotiated (not protection for the City of London), or to explain the risks of a UK left to the tories. There should be a Labour party capable of winning an election so that potentially if we do leave Europe we won't be left to wolves, a few dozen connected MP's that will happily sell us down the river to China and the USA. There should be somebody explaining that 'closing the borders because we are full' is not going to happen if we leave the EU. Not unless India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, New Zealand, Australia, Nigeria, Jaimaca, South Africa and the USA join the EU anyway. Somebody needs to ask why our border controls and customs are so poor that IDS believes we are at risk of French terrorists being able to bring guns and bombs through the tunnel? Shouldn't we be tackling this today? Not after June? It's pathetic. Where is Labour? It's knackered.

I'm fairly confident I can see a woman's tit! have a like.

For what it's worth, I think Corbyn has a natural inclination against Europe and it's distant suited gentleman deciding stuff in secret on our behalf. However, he's also aware that to get his long term wish of an exit from an undemocratic Europe right now, would leave us with a conservative UK where the main voices would be Boris on behalf of The City of London, Farage on behalf of Farage, Redwood on behalf of Satan and Rees Mogg on behalf of the 1930's. This problem, a faceless EU or a Boris run UK, is to a large degree, of Labour's own making.

The guy that invented predictive text has died. His funfair is next monkey.

feel free to lift the level by telling us some policies So far Cameron 'feels' we will be 'safer' in europe, Duncan Smith has said today he 'feels' we are more at threat of terrorist attack if we vote to stay in. Please pick the facts out of that exchange.

John Redwood, Liam Fox, Boris Johnson, George Galloway and Nigel Farage. Jeeeeesh. This is going to be horrible. Would it be too much to ask for some sort of neutral group to be formed / funded, to just either give out facts that can be easily proven, or to comment on or correct the statements of the two opposing sides? We are going to hear so much shit in the next few months.

A question I've also asked recently. My commute in to work passes a 'spoons and at 7:30a.m. there are drinkers congregating outside. By 7:45 they've been allowed in. Truly grim. My missus, always a well meaning deep thinking person, thinks that possibly they've worked a night shift and are having a well earned drink at the end of their working day. Personally, I think they are drunks that need a pint for breakfast.

a few more dead strong case building for allowing children to carry defensive assault weapons

I got a copy of today's Guardian - but it went straight in the paper pile for lining pets' cages and hutches, unopened and unread. I'll go and dig it out.

Well fair play to Cameron, my red line was that I wanted the big banks and financial services companies in the City of London to be protected from interference from Europe. Boom, we got it. Now, do I run with Cameron, or Gove?

as far as the etiquette goes, the lady definitely has to request the picture, at my age the order of events would have to be a text from me first: 'if you want a decent cock pic, now would be a really good time to ask...it's basically right now, or next Wednesday'

I do like the ceramics of Grayson Perry very much. I don't know too much back story and I can't say I've studied the work or its meaning in any great detail. But at a superficial knowing what I like level, his ceramics are right up my alley. I've had a tiny dabble in ceramics and it's very much on my 'to do' list once work, credit card bills and kids aren't priorities 1 to 10.

another one from the magazine rack in Asda, but no less gorgeous for it

I only like one of those.