chrisp65

out to a fancy music concert tonight my nipper is performing in some joint counties by invite schools' orchestra thing and will be the youngest performer there by 3 years I put this down to two things: firstly, an exceptional and precocious talent bordering on brilliance that I am banking on as my retirement plan, I have visions of talent scouts and recording contracts secondly, they are somewhat lacking in drummers / percussionists

So, what’s been you’re best comedy crash splash crunch moment. What would get you £250 from comedy legend Harry Hill? I once managed to ram my own car into my next door neighbour’s car, whilst driving my dad’s car. I hadn’t been driving long and between the neighbour and my dad they’d managed to box me in. My car was perfectly balanced on an indent in the road as it had no handbrake at the time. I went to drive off but couldn’t so I nipped back into the house picked up my dad’s keys with the intention of reversing him back a couple of feet. He’d left his in gear, so a turn of the key made it lurch forward, hitting mine. Mine had no handbrake so whacked into the neighbours car. In some sort of panic brain fart I decided the best course of action was to turn the key again – with the same results. Oh how we all laughed. Recently, I decided to fall down the stairs. But not just a little tumble, it was proper Laurel and Hardy both feet up in the air on the very top step only pausing on the way down to smack my head, arse and kidneys. Still sore, still got a tender side / rib / kidney three weeks later.

similar setting, it was Barrybados coach and car park, I tore off quite a lot of fibre glass panelling and a wing mirror.

my dad decided he could teach me to drive properly and do away with the expense and inconvenience of lessons about an hour later, picking bits of his Cavalier out of the back of a big red bus, apparently I'm not a natural driver! He should have asked if I had any driving histroy, I'd previously: put a milk float through a wall driven / plummeted a Lambretta down the dock steps pinged a railway bridge with a 45 seater coach

it doesn't matter what I do, what matters is that this city centre office has 35 staff in today but I have 1 of the 4 parking spaces that says pure alpha power smell my success

just slam your foot down on the right hand pedal

And even if you were, what would that have to do with anything? There are loads of spoilt rich kids that can't even manage to even stand on a snowboard or whatever. People are stupid. I guess that's the only thing I wanted to say. And that I have my doubts whether I like Chrisp, really...

I've had a small slice of that life, I once in the mess truck with a couple of others having a cup of tea and thawing out my fingers when we felt it bump and move. The local entrepreneurs were trying to nick it not realising there were people in it. There was a brief and heated discussion on morals with our friendly local lowlifes. Not me, I'm a penpusher, but the others in the van were better built for such a discussion.

well if it's non snow and ice fun and you're not packing bags of gear, go for a nice simple Mazda MX-5 if it needs to be a little bit more practical and spacious the world's your lobster but a Volvo V40 will confuse everyone in this thread

T3 is just fine

it's not that easy, they're always away on holiday

well jel, as I believe the yoot say I actually trawl used Merc sites when I'm alone at night, missus thinks I'm looking at porn.

ha! do you know what, I knew 8pints would spot that well done

I am the one who knocks.

Whilst I'm no fan of American imperialism, right now the alternative for the people in Western Ukraine is to be dictated to by Putin. If I was in a tight spot and had a choice of Obama or Putin I'd go with Obama for now and worry about the finer points later.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3s73x28ywg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzYD30cnBD0&feature=youtube_gdata_player forever looking for the perfect pop song, these guys are really worth a visit if they gig anywhere near you

All the flood water will go down the cracks made by the earthquake and Tony Blair will arise from a sink hole wearing white robes, but with a slight whiff of sulphur.

I don't know what to thing anymore! I'm gonna thing a thong.

I was in the middle of writing that!

There is room for debate in a democracy but one shouldn't mistake lazy contradiction for debate. Sitting on your arse and saying 'No, no that isn't true' and providing no evidence whatsoever to the contrary is highly suspicious behaviour and I can only attribute it to what Milne pointed out, an ideological stance rather than a genuine disagreement based on research and science. who's the comment aimed at CED? I don't think there are any deniers on here, I think there are pedants over the language used to portray individual events as linked in fact to man made global warming. But that doesn't make them non-believers in climate change. The problem with the likes of the BBC lazily stating 'x' is a result of 'y' is that it allows the Lawsons of this world to get into the cracks in the argument and create doubt. That doubt allows people to keep on burning fuel, because lets face it, we're all still eating ready meals and sitting at the playstation until 1:00am even if we are worried about the polar bears and somebody else's kids in 20 years time. It's that selfish gene that tells you whilst there is still Formula 1 and intercontinental beach holidays, why the floss should I worry about the mpg of my car or spending £6,000 on a 7% more efiicient boiler with a payback longer time 4 years longer than its warranty.

I'm even gonna re post so it's at the top of the page!

As the cliché goes, the Church of England is just the Tory party at prayer, and the religious origins of modern Conservatism can be found in Methodism - Thatcher was born in the heart of Wesley country. It was no coincidence that Thatcher's first rant was a sermon on St Francis. Methodist ideology is still at the heart of Tory 'pull yourself up by your own bootstraps' beliefs. So it follows that religion would be the most potent weapon when attacking the Tories and they always squeal the loudest when the church is doing the attacking. It is always the best strategy to attack a political system by judging it on its purported values. I think I might just disagree on the Methodism / Conservatism links. Now all sorts of people can claim all sorts of roots and backgrounds, inspirations and common ground. But in my experience of working with Methodists I'd have to say it's rare to meet a tory Methodist. The mantra, as far as I can tell is to be nice and loving to others by giving services freely and offering help. This help might be free soup, free use of halls and other spaces, free places on buses to protest about this weeks thing. I don't see that link in real grass roots life. Can't speak for many others, but in my experience those little Protestant sub churches, the likes of URC and whatnot are most definitely 'left' in the way they operate. Certainly locally, those independent Wesleyian type churches are the first place to go when somebody wants help promoting a broadly softly lefty project.

why do you keep the big waffles across your groin? I **** love big waffles