chrisp65

Morley_crosses_to_Withe giving you a like. You think you've got loads then it turns out it was one person.

A few years ago I used to commute to work by airplane (sounds just a bit more flash than it was). You'd get the occasional windy landing at a jaunty angle but never anything too dramatic. Funny thing is, when you become a regular you begin to recognise individual planes, one had a bit of a vibration at take off, one had a metallic screech when braking etc.. One even had a sort of whistling window which I found a bit disconcerting. I could tell you what noises each plane made at what point of the journey, but I couldn't tell you what make of plane they were. Medium sized jets. Anyway, one day some dickhead mid twenties bloke had been a loud mouthed pain in the harse most of the flight, he was in holiday mode and showing off to lots of bored and tired people. As we were landing he decided to be really really funny and stand up in his seat and announce 'I don't wanna die.....' really loudly. Trouble for Mr Dickhead was, that was the hardest landing I'd ever experienced, a proper back jolting smack on the tarmac that the pilot apologised for. Mr Dickhead managed to do something to both his knees and had to stay on the plane when we all got off.

Not sure if this is serious or we're still playing?

I'm happy. But I don't think I fully understand the situation.

I suspect yours is a little closer to the truth

you do all know that Tony has never been out of Sandwell yeah?

there will be a team within a few of miles of your house happy to help you get the buzz back I was at a game on Tuesday, local derby, crowd of 314, a full 90 minutes of non-stop singing, 2:0, a saved penalty, a broken arm, a manager sent off, burger and a mug of tea at half time, £4 to get in, had a chat with ground hoppers from Bristol Rovers, you could walk a lap of the ground if the mood took you.

give him his fifty but spit on it in front of him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfLAK8f6wtI

for the record, I had worked that out! electric avenue I worked out not a large wet/dry elastic boog

Yeah it's not really my kind of thing, but I've got UB40's greatest hits on tape in the car. Bit of Eddy Grant and you're sorted. I'm gonna rock down to... Lidl?

Ever been in a Glasgow boozer that was accessed via a wicket gate in a closed shopfront sized roller shutter - that roller shutter painted with a skull and crossbones and the letters I.R.A. ? What's more, I was clearly an away fan on a footy night when I did it. Got away with it triumphantly but would never try the same trick again.

I don't mind people liking wrestling as long as they: a) realise and accept it's actually for hyper active primary school children 2) don't talk to me about it or reference it in conversation with me iv) don't lie about having ever touched or kissed a woman's tits x) keep it secret 7) wash occasionally and accept the slight whiff of sweat and masturbation isn't 'a turn on for the ladies' aa) lose a bit of weight and stop wearing sooo much black seven) sort out the acne * for clarity, I'm referencing a good friend with one awful flaw and sometime soon we're gonna have to instigate some sort of american style intervention - he actually turned up at one footy match in a **** mexican grappling mask

today's commute collection Have to say Shonen Knife's 'Robot's From Hell' is exceptionally exceptional for getting your speed up on the motorway. Traffic's 'John Barleycorn' was more calming.

just in, tea ready already, Under Milk Wood starting on the telly hope they don't balls it by being trendy

I have found my old stockpile of glass and it matches the module size of the greenhouse I'm rebuilding so I've put about 20 sheets of glass in today. I have what looks like about another 20 sheets left, saving myself many many pounds.

if twitter was always right I wouldn't have spent last night in a car park with just Stan Collymore for company

Talking of crooks and casinos - I took a photo of the outside of Royal Bank of Scotland's HQ in Manchester Spinningfields, 3 security guys ran out of the building and across the street and told me it was illegal and wanted to see the photos on my camera. We had a brief discussion on whether standing in the street taking photo's of the outside of buildings was illegal, they then 'demanded' my name and I pointed out it was turning into a bit of a farce but if they wanted to call the police I'd happily wait. They left.

Sounds like you have aids lots of women can just work through it by concentrating really hard on cooking and cleaning, they are truly the lucky ones

have you by any chance just split up with Xann after a day at a beer festival?

it's poetry made real

can't say I particularly enjoyed hot sticky smokey marshmallow, but sitting around with the kids after a good garden work out watching bats fly over and all that can't be beat

Like a sort of South Africa style truth and reconciliation thing? That sounds like a very good idea to me, draw a line, get everything out in the open and move on. But I can completely understand how people have been massively hurt by the troubles on both sides and it takes a really strong person not to constantly seek punishment for the other side. Could you see a T & R commission hearing from somebody that they carried out a pub bombing or a disappearance and the other side saying forgive and move on? I don't think we've got to that point in our mindsets. There simply wouldn't be the media consensus to carry it along and nudge and persuade 'public opinion' along to the greater peaceful good. The best thing I believe we can hope for is the dilution of genes in truly crude terms. Everytime somebody marries out of their little community every time Mr Patel sets up a Polski Sklep we inch forward to the divisions being too blurred to enforce.

Villa, free from the pressure of a home game and free from the pressure of needing points will put on a masterclass of 1970's Harlem Globetrotters proportions that will lead to the league needing to define a new category of 4 point win. 0:1

not the best ever, but good enough