That. Exactly that.
100% agree. too many reasons to list.
but what i think the European Union needs to do, is to do less, but do it better.
Cut payments right down by member states, cut red-tape, cut regulations, cut amount of people working for the EU, cut down their ambitions, cut down new member states.
Focus on overall unity, the big picture, and not get involved in every stupid little aspect of national life.
By the terms of the Nice Treaty it actually isn't allowed to expand anymore because the institutions of the EU can't really handle it (although we will have a slight expansion soon, because one of the Netherlands colonies has chosen to integrate with the Netherlands, but that would just make the territory bigger. Not adding members). Which is kinda what Lisbon was about actually, sorting it out so it'd be more efficient. Amongst other things.
I'm not sure the rest of what you want is possible though. The EU has started on this road to... well, who knows, and I'm fairly sure they won't turn the clock back to cut down what it can do.