Chindie

The beer guilt is different, I've not had that for a while as my drinking has been lessened spectacularly lately. I have a few cans every now and then. I've not properly been out on the lash for a while. Haven't wanted to. The beer guilt is a kind of creeping cringey embarassment almost of that fact I went out and had some drinks and some fun coupled to a kind of low feeling and a hangover. I mentioned the other day I don't feel like doing anything and feel quite low. That's made up part of this feeling today. Last night a few friends came round, and Tory love interest, to watch the election which we ended up doing till 6.30am and having some drinks, love interest stopped a bit longer than everyone else, brief kip with her, cuddle and whatnot, when she went it's a couple of kisses goodbye and me back to bed, and I wake up feeling spectacularly low. Got through about 10 Becks over the night and had a pizza. I'm very mildly hungover which doesn't help but I dunno... I'm in a contemplative mood and things don't seem so good at the mo. Uni's ending which I'm actually not that bothered about - the novelty's worn off, I'm fed up of this house and the animals that live in it, etc. After uni I've no idea what I'm doing, looking for employment I guess but I wouldn't employ me, I've no experience at anything and I'm not particularly confident/competent at a number of things. As far as the love life goes, well, theres someone at home who could just be friends stuff or could go anywhere, but won't be particularly moving at all until I'm back in Brum, and here in Aber theres the Tory but **** knows what could happen there - this morning I'm getting kisses but there doesn't seem to be really anything behind it, unless thats just me being paranoid, and she's off to the May Ball tonight with 2 dates apparently so **** knows. Being single lost it's appeal a while ago, it's 2 years since I've had any meaningful relationship and even that... weren't that good. And then I've got this problem that makes doing things very difficult sometimes that I've put up with since I was about 13 that has recently come back with a vengeance and doesn't help this feeling of not wanting to do things, which is there anyway. In a way I almost feel if I get that sorted I'd feel a lot better all round. Certainly things would be easier. I've always had a fairly low... demeanour. At times it's been expected of me and I've played upto it for laughs, but then I'll get these times like now where I just feel spectacularly low. When I was younger, I mean primary school age, I was categorised as 'a worrier' by a succession of teachers and thats morphed as I got older into whatever this is. Worse, my own nature as a person exacerbates this kind of feeling because, rather like the beer guilt, I'm massively critical of myself and when I feel like this about numerous things and get low, a part of my mind will say 'It's not that bad, pull your socks up and get on with it' and that'll make me feel bad as well. I've never really mentioned it to anyone before, I think they all just assume I'm a bit darkly minded and can be dour but like to make people laugh and not really having any problems. EDIT - Sorry, that turned into rather more of a ramble than expected, apologies for boring anyone.

I was drinking last night to be fair BOF, that hasn't helped matters. I think I should go to a doctor.

Watched until half 6 this morning. Odd night. Lib Dems won Ceredigion by miles compared to how marginal it was last time. I'm apathetic to whats happened. It's all shit really isn't it?

I feel spectacularly depressed.

One of those words I always spell wrong. :oops: Can you imagine a BNP member in an office? It'd be like watching Clyde from Every Which Way But Loose try to use a computer. With added swastikas.

I think this current...er... debate... on the BNP voter does go to prove one thing. If ever enough idiots managed to drag their knuckles to a polling station to vote for them, the average supporter and member appears to be so thick they couldn't manage to do the damage the Nazi party did. They'd be too incompetant.

Voting for the BNP is sickening. It's completely unjustifiable.

Not voting, no point in this constituency, Very marginal seat between the Lib Dems and Plaid, the Lib Dems are almost certain to win imo and hold it, and I was only spoiling my ballot anyway. Oh well. Anyone but Cameron, please.

into First time I've really listened to them, given how much I like Tool it's surprising I never really bothered with APC. But seems they're pretty good. Could just be how good Maynard is I guess but still, I'm liking what I hear. Different, simpler, to Tool, not quite as heavy. But still good. The John Lennon cover could do with something else mind. Doesn't go anywhere, which of course the original didn't really either but when the song is simple you get away with that. Turning that into a rock song, and it's a bit dull.

Is it wrong it annoys me I'm under Perry Barr as my home constituency? I think of Perry Barr as a significantly different to Kingstanding/Great Barr.

Tory enough to campaign and do work in her constituency for them. And big enough to satisfy me.

Ah sorry, I've not read back over the last few pages, apologies if I'm just repeating you. I'm talking a Tory love interest now and that conversation sparked me thinking about really how I'm going to feel seeing him in No.10.

I will worry intensely if the worst happens and Cameron gets in. They're fundamentally opposed to my own political beliefs, I'm happy to say I'm anti-Tory all day long. And I'm happy to say I don't like any parties, or the very idea behind parties indeed, but that doesn't stop them being the one of the big 3 I hate most. I don't trust Cameron. I don't trust his party. I fear that he will get a slim win and will have to pander to those sat behind him, and their beliefs terrify me - I can't believe in a party that exhibits a casual homophobia that seems to eek out of some Tory candidates for instance. Any PM is going to have to invest in cuts in the publics spending and is going to have to raise cash, that I know too. But again I have this nagging doubt that under the Tories, the bottom is going to get stung hardest, even harder than others, because that is the Tory way - protect the top and the bottom shall follow inevitably - I don't believe in that. As someone from a properly workin class background, I'm not afraid to say I'm very worried by what could happen to my family, especially as my dad is retired and my mom effectively part time, and my dad being a reasonably regular visitor to hospital for tests. As student... well. It's not going to be good in the coming months, regardless again of the government, but yet again it nags me thinking under the Tories it's going to be worse. I don't think leopards often change their spots. I'm not old enough, obviously, to remember Thatcher, or particlarly remember a time before New Labour really, they got in when I was 9, but I'd heard from my dad and other older relatives and friends and frankly, it doesn't paint a nice picture. There is no such thing as society, she is famous for saying. Cameron may not believe that - but I would stake good money on more than 1 or 2 of his back benchers thinking exactly the same, and barring a miracle he won't be able to ignore them. That horrifies me. I'm really very worried.

i'm sure in the long run a labour victory will more than eat into your £87 odd profit and you will end up losing :winkold: And under the Tories I'd probably be even worse off.

Boylesports offering 50s for a Labour overall majority. Hmm... I don't really want to be signing up for another site. I decided backing Labour would be a way of rounding out my balance, so have £2.63 on them, returns £89 odd. Come on Labour! Not worth betting on either of my constituencies - Ceredigion is close but only between 2 parties and the odds on the Lib Dem candidate aren't much cop, and Birmingham Perry Barr is pretty solidly Labour meaning little value either. Damn.

Unless I'm being thick, paddy power reckon a Labour majority at 33/1. I'm tempted to have a punt on that. What the latest polls say?

Our fridge is currently home to a Becks, a Special Brew (*vomit*), 2 Olde English Ciders and a Tsingtao. And none are mine. So I'm on squash.

And if she was Belgian?

Apparently Wolfsburg are after him and want him bad. Could be done within the week.

Steve McClaren might be taking over as Wolfsburg boss, imagine the hilarious accent you could have to listen to! His German one must have something on the Dutch lilt he adopted.

Well thats the thing really. This 6 weeks I don't really have to do anything. I've got 2 combined lecture-seminars to go to and 3 logs to write from those, each about 300 words, and 2 exams. And that's it. Work isn't a problem, theres not much to put an effort into. It's just I don't feel like doing anything. I should be making the most of the final few weeks, going out and whatnot and I don't want to, I don't feel like it. Don't even really want to leave the house. I'm already dreading the lec/sem tomorrow, thinking about sacking it off as I know I can find all I need to from it quickly online or from Blackboard.

Oh I didn't mean that in an arsey way Bicks. Just commenting on the perception of having 'Studies' shoved on the end of seemingly anything. People do seem to think, for instance, people in my department doing a degree in International Relations, have a more worthy degree more than mine, Political Studies. The reality of the matter is they're exactly the same, I was sat in lecture theatres my entire time in university with people doing International Relations/ I.R. and ______, Intelligence Studies, whatever. Same module list, same everything. They just had more specific core modules (which if I wanted to I could pick anyway). It's an annoyin stereotype that is probably true below Higher Education, but afterwards they mickey mouse courses get more complex to spot .

Unfortunately my degree is officially named Political Studies, making that seemingly worthless... Although it's exactly the same as every other politics course offered at Aber, as they all use the same set of modules, only differences are in the core modules required (which again, are part of the same module list). Worryingly I feel hopelessly fed up at the moment. I just don't want to do anything. Partly thats caused by a medical thing popping up recently with a vengeance, but there does also seem to be a part of me that doesn't want to go out drinking and doesn't really want to do anything, even heading over onto campus at the moment I find exceedingly difficult. Not a good state of affairs when I've only got 6 weeks of uni left.

Part of being a politician is dealing with people; foreign leaders, etc. It really doesn’t help if our leader doesn’t come across well. Look at Bill Clinton and how good he was with people and how it helped him. Or JFK. We aren’t even talking about policies, we are talking about attracting people and being able to deal with people. Brown fails IMO in this respect and it isn’t helping the UK. With dignitaries and other politicians I think he seems much more comfortable and able. He's good at straight up formal stuff. He can't do the mingle with the public terribly well, and as I said, I don't really care. It won't do him any good with the majority of people, because people seem only to care about the surface. But for me, it doesn't really matter. He's not terribly good with the public, for certain. I'm just not that sure that matters in his ability to do the job if he can handle genuine politics.

I agree somewhat with OBE. I actually like the fact he clearly isn't much of a people person, and doesn't pander terribly to image. I don't really care if he likes meeting people in a supermarket and comes off well out of it, or even if he particularly likes the public. I don't care if he's rubbish at smiling. I care that the blokes policies are good for us and whether he's good at leading people. I ultimately care that he's a good politician, not that his image or personality win awards. And Brown's the only one where you can say, he's so woefully inept at the pandering to something he's clearly not that theres still something genuinely human about him. I read the Stephen Fry thing Drat linked to (good read), it had a link to a speech he did yesterday apparently at Citizens UK. It's first time I've seen Brown genuinely empassioned. In fact I think it's the first time I can say I've seen anything genuinely passionate from any of the candidates.