Ah that reminds me, broke a few ribs the very last time I played football. I would have been around 45, if you can imagine the most ungraceful central defender of the kick them first and take the ball later variety with all the grace of a baby elephant on ice scoring a perfectly timed flying volley that went in off the underside of the bar... yep that was me, my landing on astroturf, however, f***ing hurt, hurt so much I never played a second of football ever again.
... and to be fair, I went out right at the top of my game, I was never going to be capable of repeating that goal