I'm not sure who you're referring to when you say "we", and I'm not even sure what country you're from, but I'm assuming the US or Canada? Anyway, I grew up in Boston and I can assure you we in Boston had very tribal and reciprocated animosity towards fans of all of New York's major teams with the exception of the Islanders, who were nothing to us. Bruins fans and Montreal fans despised each other. Patriots-Jets and later Patriots-Giants was intense. Celtics-76ers in the 80's was bitter, as was Celtics-Lakers, but that was more "abstract" being so far away from each other.
All that said, England is about the same size as New England, and all their clubs are jam packed together so their tribal animosity is probably based on more of a contemptuous familiarity due to geographical proximity. The Boston-New York rivalry would geographically be like Newcastle-Plymouth Argyle having a massive rivalry lol.
As far as being a Villa fan in the States, I may as well be speaking Urdu to most of my friends and family if Villa were to be mentioned. But I connected with a Brummie Villan living in Boston back in the 90's when we watched games on satellite at Irish pubs. There was great camaraderie among all the English football junkies back then, a mixture of Yanks, English and Irish. If you wanted to watch Villa, you had to hope their match was being shown, which wasn't that often, and you had to go to the pub showing it.
Nowadays, I can watch every Villa game on my phone without getting out of bed, which is fantastic, but it's isolating as well. My primary lifeline to Villa talk over the years has been..... VillaTalk, so cheers, all!