Don't give up. It's the best advice I can give you. No matter how pointless our lives can seem, and how shitty the world can be, we have to hang on, and try, even if it seems unattainable at the moment, to enjoy the gifts that life gives us. Music, sports, film, books, the company of other people (tricky one, I know ), riding a bicycle, taking a trip, learning new things, etc. I've managed to make a total mess out of most of the big decisions I've made in my life, personal and otherwise. It can be pretty unbearable to consider sometimes. But the thing that keeps me going is the idea of taking things day by day, and coming to grips with the fact that you can't go back and change things. You have to get on with it, and make the best of things you can. It's impossible to ace everything, or even most things. Or even have half of things. And sometimes you might not even feel like trying. And that's okay. It's okay to feel hopeless. It doesn't make you a failure or whatever, it just makes you a human being.
I read something about how in Japanese culture, melancholy is considered a virtue. It suggests that the person is more of a complete human being. I think about that a lot, especially when I'm feeling despondent. It is natural to feel like you do, like I have and can and will, as do so many others. There is so much to live for and be thankful for that it beats the alternative every day of the week. My dad had a pretty hard life. When he was 90 lbs and dying of lung cancer, he was desperate for more time. For me, it was a great lesson. Feel free to PM me Kurt.