maqroll

Two drunk blokes are walking home from the pub when they encounter a sheep with it's head stuck in a roadside fence. The first bloke whips out his willie and shags the sheep. Finished, he turns to his mate and says, "Your turn." His mate sticks his head in the fence.

A man walks into a telephone pole.

Rodney goes to visit his doctor. He says, "Pardon me, Doc, but could ya have a look at me penis?" The doctor runs a few tests, goes to review the results and returns to the examaning room. He says, "Rodney, I can safely determine there is absolutely nothing wrong with your penis." To which Rodney replies, "Well I knew THAT Doc, but ain't he a **** beauty!"

"Gone a New York" by Michael Rose

Edgar Davids? :? what has he got to do with Spurs? - he plays for Ajax Oh, sorry, friend, I thought he was still with Spurs. But, to answer your question, a player like Davids, a Dutch legend, certainly has done more for Tottenham's profile in Holland than anything Villa have done recently. What did you think of my other points? Or did you just want to get that zinger in there?

If Sneijder had his choice of club- Spurs- London, Dutch Manager, Edgar Davids, or Villa- Brum and great possibility, my guess is he'll choose Spurs. London clubs with money will always have a slight edge over us in the market, just based on geography. That's why I'm pissed West Ham stayed up, because they have money and London to offer, we have Spaghetti Junction.

Merde alors! You must be crazee! Monsieur Cantona, 'e ees a poet of the highest standing! And you, you must be one of the seagulls who follow the trawler... I spit in your general direction... You obviously missed my point, Pierre. DESPITE reckless violence and beligerence, a player can and should find a team that can manage his idiosyncrisies. Now go crawl into a corner and surrender.

I haven't seen any indication MON and Villa want Ronaldinho either.

Bring the boy to Brum, outside of the Manc-Pool cauldron, get him away from his past, give him a calming influence like MON, and let him flourish. If not us, then someone else will buy him and reap the rewards for many a year. He is a standout talent. We need a commanding force in midfield. he is young. He has grit. All the elements are there for him to develop into a mature, dominating player. So what if he's a nutter, most teams have one or two.

And Barton was very visible! He had his arse hanging out at **** Goodison Park! How can you settle someone that strts fights on 15 year old boys, starts fights on his fellow team members and shows kids in the family stand his cholate starfish? Newcastle will be signing another clearing in the woods to join the likes of Dyer who has been a bit lonely since that other plank Bowyer left! How could Man U keep a player like Eric Cantona, who lost his **** mind and karate kicked a fan at Selhurst Park? How Could Man U keep a player like Alan Smith who routinely goes in with dirty tackles? How could Newcastle keep Keiron Dyer for having a punch up with his own teamate on the pitch? How could Liverpool keep Riise and Bellamy after they fought in a hotel lobby? These are footballers, not poets.

Reo Coker does not thrill me in the slightest. Don't think he's up to snuff for the next level of Villadom. Scott Parker is a nobody who will do nothing with a nothing team. Joey Barton is the midfielder we should be buying, despite his baggage, he's still young, and MON will have a settling effect on the boy, unlike PHSYCO. Reo Coker was an invisible man on a shite team last year, AND he was the captain. Says alot, no?

Here is the fundamental problem that MON is facing: For every player at every position he wants, he needs to identify a plan B, plan C, and plan D, because some players will sign elsewhere, some will not want to come to Brum, some will be too expensive, etc., etc. I'm sure Petrov, Agathe, Sutton, Young and Maloney never occupied the top half of his wish list, but they were required at the time, and that is always going to factor in who we bring in. They may not be the best, or even second best, so Villa fans should prepare themselves for this fact. Portsmouth are spending gobs of cash, building a remarkable stadium, and should be one of our primary competitors going forward, along with Spurs, Everton, Toon, and unfortunately, West Ham. All these clubs will have comparable resources to Villa, and the top 4 won't be slipping up much, so where does that leave us? Time will tell.

There's some player lighting up the Belgian League right now, I think he's called Balaban?... :winkold:

Will Mr. O'Neill please play Gareth Barry in central midfield role from now on. We have Maloney and Young on the wings, with who knows who else on the way in, including defenders. Barry has the best vision of all the Villa players, and reads the game very well. He is good going forward and defending, and his lack of pace is not such a liability when he plays in the middle. Give him a year in the middle, and he'll start in front of Lampard next summer for England, mark my word.

GK: Boruc Paul Konchesky, who can play every defensive position LB: Luke Young CB: Silvan Distan RW: Ricardo Quaresma CM Joey Barton Striker: Darren Bent. I say hold on to Tommy and Gavin and let them fight for their spots, this is the depth and competition for places that the top clubs all have. With Bent, we'd have a strike force of Bent Carew Agbonlahor Moore and /or A. Young Maloney I can see Moore getting lost in the shuffle next year, which is a shame, bevause he has great potential to bag loads of goals if he starts every game. Such is life when you have depth, but I'll take that problem over previous Ellis teams with zero depth and no hope.

Having viewed the training ground pics, including the tiled shower walls featuring the new crest, it has now sunk in that this is what we are going to have to live with, at least for a while. We've changed our crest before, so chances are we'll do it again, but let's hope that day comes sooner rather than later. For those of you who think the new crest is a total failure, all we can do is continually voice our displeasure on this forum, particularly when in dialogue with the General, and on any other Villa forum, for that matter. It is obvious that Villa are turning a corner and the crest is secondary to results on the pitch, but even as we become more successful, we should keep this crest conversation alive, otherwise we'll be stuck with it for longer than we want to be. In the final analysis, the crest should reflect the stature, strength and ambition of Aston Villa Football Club, and it is painfully obvious that this new crest does not achieve anything close to that criteria.

I strongly agree with everything about this statement. The new crest is a farce on par with the Ted Bates statue in Southampton. It just falls too far short of expectation and the club deserves much better. There are many people on here who will say "Just forget about it, move on, it's not important.", but they are wrong, it is MASSIVELY important to get this right as the club expands it's brand on an international scale. Pressure must be put on management immediately to get this thing done right, because as it is now, it is a total embarrassment.

I'm not sure bringing in players from the First Division that most of us have never heard of is the right strategy, especially if we are going to have the huge sums of money available as has been reported. I'd rather us go after established Premiership stars or notable foreign players.

I'd like us to go after someone like Bellamy, Barton and/or Alan Smith. Villa are currently comprised of a bunch of "Nice Guys", there is no menace about the team.

I think Bellamy goes missing too often, and he's a clubhouse liability. We need a prolific scorer, like Bent, someone who will just drill the goals in day in, day out, with nary a peep out of him. Keep in mind, he's dominated games playing for a crap club all these years. Darren Bent is who I want upfront. Barton and Ricardo Quaresma for CM and RW respectively.

RICARDO QUARESMA!!!

You mean Ricardo Quaresma I reckon. He is interesting as he uses his outside of his right boot to shoot, which is unique in the football world. You'll know what I mean when you see it. But like I have said a few times, if you think Ronaldo is a cheat (0 cards for diving in the Prem this season btw) then think twice about Quaresma as he is quadruple the artist. ?

Carlos Queresma from Porto is pure class, I'd love us to show some real ambition and go for him. He's alot like C. Ronaldo.

IMO, we shouldn't be looking at Nugent. We don't need anymore young, relatively inexperienced players in the squad, we need proven veterans who can bang 'em in game in and game out in the Premiership. Darren Bent comes to mind. If we look outside the Prem, we should look at the top clubs in the top leagues.

Having watched the last 2 Chelsea-Porto matches, I have to say that I think Ricardo Queresma is an excellent player, and I would be ecstatic to get him. He is a game-breaker, in the Christiano Ronaldo mould. I would love to see him in a Villa kit. Of course, it won't happen, but one can dream....