Some of the finest double entendres on British TV & Radio
>
>Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male
>astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They
>seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in
>his shorts."
>
>Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny
>Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to
>use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."
>
>Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen
>Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."
>
>Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World
>Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he
>wished he had a hard on now."
>
>Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on
>This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed
>last night."
>
>'Winning Post's' Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's
>formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what
>he sees."
>
>Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well
>Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."
>
>Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire
>match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands
>he just tossed it off."
>
>Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's
>nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."
>
>James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What
>does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"
>
>Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today
>after a 69."
>
>The new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath
>away..."My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."
>
>Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big
>race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about
>coming from different positions."
>
>Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live
>said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."
>
>A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed
>and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that
>eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave
>the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!
>
>US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is
>playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his
>balls and kisses them ... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"
>
>Metro Radio - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven
>Dicks on the field."
>
>Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that
>nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the
>Oxford crew."
>
>Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I
>once rode her mother."
>
>New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl
>Gibson comes inside of him."
>
>Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from
>Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"