ArteSuave

You could play 1000 games and if you were s**t in every one of them then you wouldn't be a solid player. John O'Shea has played 71(!) Champions League games, that doesn't make him a solid Champions League player. Appearances =/= Quality

Think of the naughtiest words you can, type them in and then preview your post. clearing in the woods word removed **** rocket polisher Wholesome family fun.

Have we? The past few years? Who were they then? Cahill definitely, Ridgwell up until recently, Bannan still in Premiership, Gardner Snr, Albrighton. Weimann is playing for us, as is Gabby, Clark and Baker. Certainly no world beaters but all play in the Premiership. So Ridgewell, Bannan & Baker are good enough to be considered "solid prem players" (your words)? I'll have to respectfully disagree.

Have we? The past few years? Who were they then? Edit - From my reckoning the only academy graduates who have shown themselves to be current solid prem players from the past 10 years are Gabby, Whittingham, Weimann, Cahill and Davis. Edit 2 - I really can't see how that is Lambert's fault. I'd rather we gamble and get Vlaar, Benteke and 5 Lunas instead of going with what our academy produces.

Where do I sign up? Lescott is **** 10% faster than Vlaar in 14. Edit - **** 20% FASTER. AAAAAARRGH.

False lies might seem like a bad thing on first viewing, especially when they're written in CAPITALS and whatnot, but aren't false lies just truths? Less real lies I say, FALSE LIES only from now on please Lambo.

Our game at the SOL he had no problem getting stuck in and had a very entertaining physical battle with Agbonlahor (who isn't exactly a fart in the wind). Gabby actually gave him a filthy elbow in that game. I hope they can kiss and make up.

He makes molasses look like water. Proof:

US Army? I kid.

Their sprint speed rating on FIFA is what makes people think Vlaar and Dunne are slow. If you actually watch them run next to fast people you would realise they are also fast.

La Liga. 10 points to me. If they lose Benatia though it might not be too unrealistic.

Personally I thought Dunne was a very important player for us and was the key to our best defence for many years. That said Vlaar has been playing with two CB partners who wouldn't have even got in the squad in 2010 and an array of fullbacks that don't seem to want to be fullbacks, not to mention a very lightweight midfield who most of the time didn't provide much cover at all. Even just adding Milner into our midfield now would make a world of difference to the difficulty of Vlaar's job. As a direct comparison I'd say they were equally brickshithouse-esque, both deceptively quick, both very good at making challenges and clearing headers but I think Vlaar is a lot better in possession and seems to make less mistakes (although that may be down to everyone around him going all out to make the mistakes first).

Thank you, up to you. Now I don't have to spend all day looking for updates on this transfer.

Thorpe's announcement has got him some attention. Has he got a book coming out (fnar)?

"Biglia? More like Delia!" -- Lawro

Lucky bastard Bastard, I didn't know that. Googling him though his real name is Eugene and he supposedly confirmed their divorce in a recent issue of the radio times. My favourite piece of his work: https://audioboo.fm/boos/1993849-sam-matterface-s-alan-partridge-moment

The exact role we need to fill. I would be astounded if he didn't have more enticing offers than us though.

There was a point in the game earlier where self proclaimed intellectual Clark Carlisle made up the biggest load of bullshit about Luiz's freekick technique. I think it was his attempt at explaining the term knuckleball. By the end I wanted to melt my eyes and pour them down my ears to make it stop. His conjoined twin Sam Matterface is a purebred nonsense merchant as well.

I watched some of the England v Italy game with no commentary as I'd had enough of Neville and the 5 Live feed was slightly out of sync. I assume you can do it during any Beeb match. I've tried with the 5 Live feed and Alan Green is worse than any of the words removed on telly! I just want the stadium and pitchside microphones' noise. I had it once last world cup when they had Moyles doing alternative commentary and the system failed for about 20 minutes. It was **** nirvana.

Are there any petitions or support of any kind to have a no commentary option on the red button? Surely that wouldn't be hard to have. Some commentators are like white noise but others really spoil the coverage IMO. It's effectively like having an idiot sitting next to you who feels he has to say something about every little thing that happens. **** off!

We got Benteke instead though? We almost got Bony as well as Benteke. Bony was going to be a loan with an option to buy (of ~£8m), but Vitesse decided they wanted the fee up front and he stayed and was the league top scorer.

He might not keep us up on his own but he has Guzan, Delph and Benteke to help him... Hopefully. We have so few properly good players these days that selling one would **** decimate us.

Varane was very good for France too I thought.

It just got funnier and funnier.